Why would the first one work on me. Do i have no self preservation instinct left.
I know from experience that the fuckshed dudes know how to fuck good. Their fuck shed is usually even nicer than the bedroom in their house/apartment.
I’m gonna need you to verify these
Van fuckers are just shed fuckers who have not yet settled down and gotten a fuckshed.
Are basement fuckers shed fuckers who haven’t committed to the shed fucker life?
Haven’t been chained up in a sex basement yet. 🤷♂️
Every day is learning day here on lemmy.
fuckshed
yuuup
Great username, by the way.
thanks, I needed one when hastily leaving reddit during the mod purge and had a stack of dvd’s next to my laptop for my kid - powerpuff girls and lotr
I imagine that’s what he calls his fuckshed.
You have no idea how much I wish I was more gay.
Sending you my gayest thoughts.
More gay? More gay than what?
More gay than you! HA!
More gay than the gay I currently am
You guys actually get matches?
Goddamn. Here I am in straight world with exactly one match in an entire year that wasn’t a bot.
Eh
Fuck it the apps are scams anyway
Grindr doesn’t have matching. You just see a profile you like and message them directly.
That’s probably why it actually works.
I met my wife on IRC. Try that!
IRC? Like a specific one or just a random one from the early 2000s
I met someone in the official XKCD channel. That person referenced a private server. Later I went to a LAN party where another attendee happened to be on that same private server. I figured that had to be significant and joined the server myself. Some months later, a fluke caused my face to be displayed on a webcam feed I had linked there. My now-wife saw it and proclaimed me cute.
Really that was all it took, but she’s never since done anything that caused me to regret falling for her.
If you download Grindr, you too can have an inbox full of poorly lit bathroom dick pics and people asking you if you know where they can get hard drugs!
It’s less a “dating” app, and more a way for “straight” men in denial of their sexuality to find dl fun.
Almost makes me wish I was gay. Getting some strange would be easier at least lol
There are women on the app too. And don’t forget the femboys. ;)
Sounds like you need to work on your profile and set of pics. Many years ago I logged into PoF as a woman and was stunned at how bad the other guy’s profiles were.
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Write something humorous, make your post amusing, doesn’t have to be LOL funny
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Don’t list anything you find unacceptable, too negative
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Don’t list anything you have to have in a partner, too demanding
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Post a wide variety of pics, get a couple of your very best, but get some day-to-day pics in there, looks more honest that way
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Also post pics where you’re in action, engaged in an activity you like, write about activities you enjoy, show yourself doing those things
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NO: Guns, dead animals, motorcycles, trucks or other vehicles you wish to show off
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No pics that include other women, no matter who they are. I’d try to leave male friends out as well.
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Don’t talk about being lonely, wanting to share your life with someone, nothing emotional, sounds needy, that comes later
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No need to come with your life story, they’re reading your profile to see if you’re an interesting person today, not where you came from
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Do what I did and sign in as the opposite sex (sorry, been assuming you’re a man looking for a woman), read their dumb profiles, don’t do those things
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Once you get it down, splatter that profile across several websites. You catch more fish with multiple hooks in the water.
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One final note, when you get matches, chat very briefly, ask for the date. Women out there are seriously frustrated with guys that seem to only want to talk, talk, talk. Get that date set before someone bolder asks her out!
Sorry for making so many assumptions. If this doesn’t help you, maybe someone else can get use out of it. For context, I was 50-53 and pulling so many dates the neighbors were making fun of me over all the women in and out of here. Also, I’m short and scrawny, non-rich and my vehicles are 20+ years old. :)
Some of these are definitely up to your own personal preference.
Plenty of MAGA chicks on Tinder in my area that, themselves, have pics of their guns, dead animals and trucks. I’m sure they’d love all the country bros that do the same.
But then again, I don’t think anyone on Lemmy wants to attract those people.
NO: Guns, dead animals, motorcycles, trucks or other vehicles you wish to show off
Dang it so no train pics I take it?
No pics that include other women, no matter who they are. I’d try to leave male friends out as well.
See I’ve heard the opposite advise. A non-cover photo of you with some friends including non-male friends if you have any indicates you’re not a loner and might have some idea of how to talk to other humans
Huh. Well. I guess I’m doing everything right then.
Maybe the photos need a lot of work. That will be challenging.
damn thats a lot of effort lol
will stick with never using dating apps ever again in my life, already settled on dying alone in a cabin with a dog because the app life juice is not worth the squeeze
It really isn’t that much effort. It’s writing a profile and posting it.
I’m good, dating apps feel like a waste of time. If I get a partner it won’t be through a stellar profile of mine. I’m okay with not getting a partner because I’m that stubborn. I don’t have pictures of myself that are older than like 10 years. I will not take new ones. I’m okay with not getting a partner because I refuse to take selfies.
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Grindr doesn’t really have a “match” system. You can send a message to anyone whose profile you can see (unless/until they block you). Think of it less like a traditional dating app and more like an interactive billboard of horny people in your area.
Why isn’t there a straight version of that lol
Multiple answers to that question:
- There are women on Grindr - in my experience, mostly trans women or m/f couples looking for a third. So men can find straight sex on Grindr, but it’s rare. Women are definitely a scant minority of the users.
- There are plenty of “straight” men on Grindr. You’d have to ask them why - I usually block them.
- The reason why dating apps marketed towards straight people don’t allow this kind of messaging (and the reason there aren’t more women on Grindr) is because women, generally speaking, won’t put up with the same kind of shit that gay men will. A straight dating app where men could send horny messages and dick pics to every woman they saw wouldn’t have any women using it.
The world lost untold weirdness when Craigslist took down their personals section, cause that’s where my down dirty girlfriends were getting the dick back in the day. You could go on and have your pick of dozens of guys in an hour. Generally they were real guys. Most were awful but they found some diamonds in the rough.
Or it would have the horniest, sluttiest women in the world just like Grindr has me 🤷♂️
8 consecutive gut punches.
Secret NSFW one
(spoiler)
Jesus. This whole post needs more jpeg.
Or mpreg
Do ah look like ah know hwat a jay-peg is?
Oh Hank.
As a pansexual man, men are the worst. If it wasn’t mandated by evolution, I don’t know why women would put up with us.
Ugh, casual sexism. Look at the bottom of the barrel, and judge an entire gender by the way those behave.
A lot of guys, gay or otherwise, don’t think or behave like that. And by your own definition, you’re also the worst. Sucks to have that terrible self esteem, but don’t lump me up with your self-hating ass
As a human being, human beings are the worst. If it wasn’t for our tendency to completely dominate our environments, I don’t know why the world would put up with us.
Try an experiment: go on Fetlife and setup a profile as a fem. Start collecting DMs. It might be enlightening.
And by your own definition, you’re also the worst.
Yes, you’re very smart.
Open garbage can > Look in > Mostly garbage.
How very insightful of you, mate.
There are some amazing people in FetLife, and in Grindr too. But like I said before, looking at the very bottom of the barrel and judging a whole gender based on it, that is beyond stupid.
Funny how I never seem to have these issues with fems and non-binary people. Even the ones who grew up masc. In fact, most of the problems there are a direct result of really shitty behavior from men and trying to cope with it.
Instead of going “not all men”, maybe try to point out shitty behavior? Maybe one day, we can get past all this.
The point is, if 10% of guys in a given population are unspeakably awful, that’s the 10% who you will hear from on a dating app. You don’t get that from fems because they are typically being pursued on all dating and social media apps, because we still largely hold to the cultural norm that men/masc presenting people are responsible for asking the other person out.
It seems worse on Grindr because the majority of users are cis men-the very people who have been told since birth that it’s their job to pursue sexual connections. Of course that leads to poor behavior.
I point out shitty behavior, no matter the source. Hence why I am pointing out your very shitty behavior, that you’re too biased to even comprehend.
You sound like the reason women choose the bear.
And you sound like someone who polices choices, swallow the onion whole, feeds the trolls AND takes ragebait at face value.
I truly hope you get to see the world and yourself with kinder, more reality based eyes one day.
There’s no winning with you. You argue with the same logic as a trump supporter.
deleted by creator
I was dating hot and heavy a couple of years ago. Fun first date question was to ask the woman about bad first dates they’ve had. Jesus fucking Christ, I have no idea why they keep trying with us men! I have exactly 1 horrible first date story, and that was more stupid than horrible.
I would like to introduce tentacle guy to tranquilizer man.
That’s how you end up with the nightmare that seemed really real…or with the next conversation that ends up on Grindr’s Greatest Hits compilation.
Consistent with my experiences on there. Sigh
Not mine. Where the hell are you staying that you get these people? lol
Are any of these real? I really want them to be but also what please no
make a grindr account and find out.
Spoiler…Mike Johnston is in the woodshed
Grindr makes me want to give a swag
We need a dedicated image dumps community
Jelly
N-T! N-T!!
(Only people who like '80s romcom movies will probably get this.)
Or people exited about the end of DOS based Windows
