Some say this is just a coverup story for the murder of the ladle inventor whose family in Kilkenny still claim rightful ownership of that patent, but today arguing with Big Spoon is just asking for it

They have royal pie takers who, according to the Magna Carta, have to stand in.

I’m in this weird middle ground where I hate FB with a passion and it depresses me every time I log in, but I need to create a personal brand for my business (and to get laid, who am I kidding) and honestly I’m thinking about getting one of my friends to run it for me, which seems weird but

There’s rabbit girl, who is this anorexic as fuck lady who runs about 20 miles a day, looks just like a sinewy, starved rabbit hop hop hopping along

You know how we installed that system and have been waiting for a chance to see how it works

Hey smuggle in some of that sweet sweet fentanyl to boost your profits

It’s because for the Average Joe, having a TV box at the end of your driveway that has the latest big number on it is important. It’s how they gain their identity. Do not upset them for obvious reasons.

Which is every morning and most afternoons

Had a disc blow out last month, and I still have XR morphine from my friend dying of cancer, and whoa but this dude is right

But after a few days you really want a more potent opiate. Which, don’t worry, you will still take with the morphine cause you’re dependent now.

Thankfully they did emergency surgery or I’d be on the way to becoming a statistic.

Yep two fingers means “I’m from here” so I love the puzzled looks.

I learned to do this growing up, the two fingers up off the steering wheel, and I instinctively do it in rural areas now, it always cracks my husband up when this gay city dude is waving at country rednecks and they’re waving back