Why does that look so much like my brother had a baby with Leonardo DiCaprio? I’m disturbed

Yeah, Little Man is the best baby. I can’t wait until I get to see him again. I know everyone thinks the kid in their family is special and whatnot, but I swear, that kids a born scientist. If nurtured, he’s gonna be amazing at whatever he sets out to do

My nephew is so cool. He’s 20 months, and if he picks something up he shouldn’t have, or if you need him to stop doing something, you can just hold your hand out for it and say “let me have that” or tell him “you gotta stop, buddy” and he just fucking does it. Sometimes he gets this look like “damn, they caught me!” And he just moves on to the next thing, and never cries about it or anything. He’s the happiest, sweetest baby I’ve ever seen, and it’s genuinely scary how smart he can seem at times

I think we need a new category that includes dwarf planets and moons, but does not include gas giants and anything too small to have an atmosphere. Basically a “could be terraformed in a sci-fi novel” category.

When I was a kid, about 10 or so, I had a basset hound named Amy. She was amazing. Everyone loved her. Total neighborhood dog that everyone in the neighborhood felt like was their baby, too.

We also had a bully named Travis who was an awful little shit. We all generally avoided him, even when he would throw shit at us or hit us.

My friend Hailey was super nonconfrontational. But when Travis intentionally ran over Amy with his bike, Hailey ran after him on foot, managed to catch him as he peddled his dark and stinking heart out, ripped him off his bike by his hair, tore the chain guard off of his bike, and beat him so badly with that by the time the rest of us had caught up to the two of them to pull Hailey off or Travis she had broken his nose, gashed his arm, and broken two of her own fingers, presumably on his face.

Travis never fucked with our dog again

We did the same thing, but I was the smart dumbass who knew that’s how you lose fingers, so I had us hide behind a board and drop a bowling ball into it. It cracked the fucking ball! My parents were livid

I love this comment chain so much. You have not linked anything now. Lmao

Did you mean to link me to the chocolate milk comment? Have I hurt you in some way‽ D: haha

Ha! I love that joke at the end.

It is tough being AMAB and loving the caring aspects of life. It’s as if the world sees you as a predator, and inside you’re just wanting to protect and love and care. It’s sad :(

God, it’s remarkable how similar that is to me. I’m not ace, and I’m only NB in secret, but holy shit. Same. My dad’s reaction was less awful, though

I’m so fucking impressed, and simultaneously I feel like a dumbass for never getting it

I’d be down to try that cough syrup

Oh my God

I always knew there was a reason God didn’t make me a rich man.

But what about the crazy German dungeon porn and the sex clubs‽

I somehow missed the twitter craze by accident. Was active on Myspace and then Facebook, but I always preferred my forums. Once I left all other social media, reddit was all that was left, and now Lemmy. It feels a lot more like what I miss, but still isn’t quite the same

Idk, I’ve noticed a lot of people on Lemmy that tend towards their 40s or 50s

Took me far too long to realize this was a reference to the movie, and not a random philosophy post about the impermanence of life

You know how if you’re reading a headline from the onion and you mistake it for real you’ve “eaten the onion?”

Is there a name for the reverse phenomenon? Where a real headline reflecting actual reality is so ridiculous that you reject it out of hand as satire only to realize it was genuine? Regurgitating the onion? What’s the name for this?

I did Nazi that joke coming…