Can run as fast as albert einstein, but don’t actually take the pill. Use it only when you or a loved one is immobilized by old age or injury. Nothing to lose, even if its a bogus ‘0mph, he’s dead’ pill.
- Open franchise that sells toast bread. Burn all toasters in the world that are not used in your chain. Raise prices to ridiculous amounts. Build a big toaster rocket. Fly away.
Are these one time use? Like you gain the ability to talk to oysters forever? Grow a new nose as many times as you want? Or talk to oysters for 5 minutes and one extra nose?
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Become a water quality assessor with instant and accurate data on pollutants, if there are invasive species, whether or not there are pearls present, and any other information oysters can offer about the environment.
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Instant paving/gravel business with a huge profit margin compared to competitors.
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Depends on the locus of movement. If 7” only, like a quarter step in any direction, kinda useless*. If moving your entire body 7” away from it’s previous location, good for theft I guess if the barrier is less than 7” thick.
*if you can “spam” the 7” movement rapidfire with no speed limit, you can travel as fast as you can wherever you want in a “stuttering” teleport.
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Useful to someone disfigured, lost one to skin cancer or other issue.
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Depends on what you limit a toaster to and what constitutes control. If you can control any facet of any device that heats the interior for purposes of heating the contents to a specific temperature, then this is really powerful. Engines “toast” fuel. Kilns “toast” everything from carbon fiber to ceramics to tempering glass. You now operate the only successful fusion reactor on the planet. The ability to control the specific heating of any material in an enclosed environment would have wide application.
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Spam it.
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Catching smugglers? If a container that should be empty isn’t, you can’t see in it.
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Get your name in the history books as an expert on the peoples and culture surrounding the language.
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If you were a paraplegic this would be life-changing.
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Considering how my driveway gets completely washed away any time it rains, I’m going with #2 no questions asked.
Don’t even have to read the rest of them, gravel is expensive!
Free gravel is so busted compared to these. Gravel’s one of those things that you don’t need often, but someone in any town on any given day will need some.
You could undercut every single other gravel business. Even if the competitions lowers their prices dramatically, they can’t go lower than their costs. Meanwhile, you have absolutely no costs on material. Gravel monopoly.
Bet I could retire in a year, two at the outside. Have customers pick up at deep discount until I could get a pair of heavy trucks and drivers, pure gravy from there on out.
- breed oysters > profit
- sell gravel
- still prob useful if you chain teleport real fast?
- why
- must be a job somewhere for you
- can instantly tell if a container isnt empty, work in customs or something?
- doctorate in archeology
- albert einstein when? now? yikes, when he was young? depends on your relative age and physical form
7 is actually useful? I don’t understand the debate
How is seeing inside of an empty container useful? There’s nothing in it
Play “Deal or No Deal”
Okay. Your power instantly doesn’t work as every case contains a placard saying what the dollar amount is and is therefore not an empty container
Fuck
Logic is a cruel bitch
Ok then.
removes logic
everything becomes random
YooooOOooou HHhhhhhhhappÿ???!
Cuss then you know which ones has stuff
Most things people consider “empty” are still full of atmospheric gases, dust, etc.
You could see inside of a sterile container inside of a vacuum chamber.
so i can say inside your skull? Ayooo
but seriously it’s the teleport assuming there’s no or negligible cast time. the only thing you can’t do is tp through a thick obstacle but you can repeatedly use it through continuous routes to travel long distances in very fast.
if not then toaster control ain’t that bad either.
3 or 6 if there’s no cooldown. People talk about not being able to get through walls when over open ground you can hit potentially limitless speed without gaining inertia and going splat if something pulls out in front of you. Same with deaging, so long as the cooldown isn’t longer than 10 hours, you’re Benjamin-Buttoning it.
You guys are sleeping on 1.
The secrets of the oysters could be yours.
Yes, but I love oysters.
Hearing them scream as I scarf a dozen of them? Not opposed, but seems like that’s going to ruin the meal.
Maybe they’re into vore, you don’t know.
Gotta go with 7 here.
Easy, free gravel. Become a gravel salesman.
Would be interesting to see how it appears though. Can I get to just point to a spot and suddenly gravel? If so, charge people for the show too. Just rock up to their house, point at the driveway and boom, gravel. Easy money.
Added bonus: don’t like someone? Boom, house literally full of gravel.
Gravel.
Just says that the gravel is free, not that you can generate it or make it appear. You’ve got a lifetime supply of gravel from suppliers but you still gotta move it around
Still a free product. Normally gravel traders have to purchase the gravel, move it and sell it. Now you just have to move and sell it. Massive profits. Transport fees are for the customer too, so basically free as well.
And you’d be able to undercut any competition and corner the market.
That’s sounds like a recipe to be Jimmy Hoffa’d
Built a greenhouse with a gravel foundation this summer. Doesn’t matter if I have to move it. Free gravel is useful.
You will have free grave in north Korea
I don’t want to deal with people tho
If there’s no cooldown and no cost on teleport, maximum distance doesn’t really make a difference
Even with a cooldown or something like that, a real world ‘blink’ ability, even of just 7 inches, would be utterly devastating in hand to hand combat, as well as potentially in ranged/armed combat as well.
Just imagine scenes from John Wick but also, every 30 minutes, he can just ‘blink’ up to 7 inches to dodge or connect a punch, kick, grab, close range shot, move just a bit further into cover, closer to a magazine needed to reload, etc.
Granted, you would also have to be very careful to not uh, Philadelphia Experiment / phase shift into a fucking wall or some other person or something.
A 7 inch ‘blink’ takes Keanu Reeves a step from John Wick… toward Neo, this would be completely ‘broken’ in the hands of a skilled and trained fighter, even if they can only use it once a day, as a kind of ‘ultimate’ or w/e.
Like uh, try hand to hand fighting someone in Cyberpunk 77, with yourself set up as close to a plain jane human as possible… up against a melee fighter with sandevistan.
It does if trying to go through an 8” thick wall.
Or across an 8" ocean.
Or 8" of gravel.
Better not have gotten that gravel for free else no teleport.
What if you can only teleport with a pill? What happens when you ingest a whole handful? Are you teleposing in different directions simultaneously?
Yes but they all cancel each other out leaving you unmoving.
If abusable the look 10 hours younger one could be sick to go along with this.
Teleport 7 inches only because doing so in quick succession could look really funny
Go slim under 7 inches and teleport through very thin walls.
That’s not very thin walls though. Average walls are 4.5”. Walls with things like plumbing are usually only 6.5”. Teleporting 7 inches would be hella useful.
With your back up against the wall, you’d still only make it about half-way through. Depending on the mechanism, you’d either have your front half stuck, merged or exploded.
Seeing inside empty containers is way more useful than it seems.
are clothes considered containers? asking for a friend
Yes. Any empty clothes are yours to see inside.
you mean are for my friend to see inside. oh. oh.
My thought exactly. You know immediately if it’s empty
That whole Geraldo safe thing could have been avoided
But then we wouldn’t still be laughing at that twat.
Why weren’t you already?
Personally, that was the first I ever heard of him. Given my age and his complete irrelevance to anything I cared about (basically just computers and cartoons) at the time, I had no reason to.
Honestly I still don’t know much about him, mostly because I don’t care. But everyone loves an epic fail story.
So I shouldn’t flick this switch
Not sure what this is in reference to, honestly. I may have heard his name when the safe happened, but I never actually watched the clip of it’s something to do with that. I just heard mentions of it later.
