Honestly, that’s gotta be among the biggest mosh pit power moves possible. “I am so unperturbed by all of this.”

Wanna be my Mater?

Quick, what are some ways to get a girl to say the number 95?

Pretty sure this is why we eat them so much. To control the population. It’s fucking self-preservation. Look at this eldritch fucking bullshit:

And that one’s still a baby!

Come on, do it pussy.

I lived in a desert area and could also piss freely in any location, so now I’m really flummoxed.

Now you have to, this is legally binding.

Something something thunderclap dem cheeks.

“Hey gurl, according to this app, you’re about to get really wet.”

The last dog I had was a ~30 minute ride. The owner fell asleep and the dog stood on the middle console and leaned against me for pets. Admittedly not the safest, but what was I to do.

Then my advice to you is not to have friends.

Not 100% relevant, but I recently opted into Uber Pet rides and they’re always the highlight of my day. I’ve already had a repeat rider, Chomp the lab. Just wanted to brag, I guess.

Edit: Fuck Uber though, for real.

Thank God for Senators!

I never forgot.

How good is The Bear tho? My God.

Aw, Tina.

Do you let people or programs access your computer unsupervised? Hell no. But I’m supposed to let another person just freely walk around my home and open cupboards and shit!? How about no!?

He can’t see it. He’s dead.

I’ve heard tell of a long pig? Could this be it?