Hell yeah, I always wanted to try a threesome.

And easily justified on keto. Recipe for disaster.

You should’ve seen it. It was fucking crazy, trust me. The room was completely filled with bleeding-edge technology, gadgetry you’ve never even heard of. It felt like a historic moment. I just got my instant camera back from the 24-hour photo to try to share what it was like:

git gud intolerants

“You don’t need chocolate with your peanut butter. Or peanut butter with your jelly. Just have a jelly sandwich.” That’s what you sound like.

I still drink/love/crave milk, but have long-since graduated to half-and-half. Heavy cream in my pure keto phase was arguably crossing the line.

All I’m saying is “tickle her cloaca and she’ll stay wit ya.”

But what if it’s all flappy parts?

idgaf what “science” says.

It’s. 👏 Still. 👏 A. 👏 Planet. 👏

Way to advertise you don’t know how to find the c-spot. So on-brand.

Disco Elysium drama aside, this is an absurdly great trio of games. Literally thousands of potential hours. Psssst: KSP mods.

🤗

That didn’t happen! You’re being ridiculous, like you always do. Why must everything always be about you!? God, you make me want to kill myself. Dweezil never would have treated me this way.

When does it go into effect?

“Pretty much right now, basically?”

Nice. Very cool.

“Meemaw, I’m so glad you came to see me! …wanna go see some human remains?”

I don’t care for either unless it’s covered in cheese.

Please tell me it’s Friday, because that means the evening is Family Matters or Sliders, Boy Meets World, Step by Step, and Hangin’ With Mr. Cooper.

P.S. it’s April 19th and you’re currently relaxing in the Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building. Enjoy your well-earned R&R!