It is kind of wild. Some dudes have small dicks, big dicks, egg-shaped dicks… Stinky dicks with moles on them… Fat dicks with freckles… Dicks that look like sad elephants… Dicks that look like Shar Peis…

Then you have big vaginas, small vaginas, long vaginas, sleeve of wizard vaginas, jutting serrated-looking labia vaginas, wise old horse-like vaginas, cauliflower vaginas, meat pile vaginas, vaginas that look like Shar Peis…

And any of these… And I mean any of them… can be on the hottest person you’ve seen in your life. It’s like opening a Kinder Egg. Drop in a coin, pull the lever, and see what surprises await you in the dankest, steamiest, most razor-burnt region inside of your new partner’s pants.

Same. 7-3:30 most days. Some an hour or two earlier. I always crash out after lunch, or guaranteed by 1:30. At that point I’m just walking around trying to find shit to do.

Are you talking Australian Kmart or North American? In North America it was minimum wage for the vast majority of workers and zero benefits. I only made $11 USD (my store went under in 2016) as a supervisor with keys to the store and the safe, so it was a pretty shit arrangement. But it was a good stepping stone that got me into managing within the grocery industry, where I’m making significantly more for much more palatable work.

As a former PM Supervisor at Kmart, I think I just got mildly triggered by the K-Mart’s store closing part. That liquidation process was hands down the most monumentally stressful and hellish period of my life. Fuck that company and everyone who turned up to plunder it.

It wasn’t terrible for what it was. I just remember being let down after years of listening to my best friend’s other friend telling me all of these promises he had fully subscribed to. It all sounded too good to be true, but both us and the industry itself were too young to have experienced overpromises like that. I thought maybe I just didn’t know how far technology had come, and we were about to see it fully manifest in all its glory…

But what we got was a fuck load of bloom and a few branching choices. And a marriage system that let you be gay. I definitely made my guy gay. Well, not at first. At first I married the barber because I thought I’d get free haircuts. That didn’t work. So I made my guy gay.

Guns and football seem pretty gay to me…

I can both hear and feel the creaking ricketyness of this, and it feels kind of nice on my brain.

Somethingsomethingsomething UNATCO? 😶

Coke Zero is a newer diet option formulated to taste similar to original Coke, with the presence of a mild artificial sweetener flavor that is more recognizable to those who are sensitive to the taste. Diet Coke, on the other hand, was created decades before they had decent sweeteners. While it still has a sizable following of people who like it, Diet Coke tastes nothing like original Coke, and has a flavor more akin to the smell of hot plastic.

This is pretty consistent across all brands now, at least from those that I’ve tried so far. The new Zero versions are much, much closer to the original formulas.

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My pregnant wife asked me to get her a fountain Coke Zero from Costco the other day… I paid for the thing and waited patiently for my empty cup. When I approached the dispenser, I found that all three Coke Zeros were out of order. I had no choice but to fill it with Diet Coke. It was the lowest Costco experience of our lives.

Not to mention they’re the two most nostalgic seasons, by a landslide. At least in regions that experience four seasons. There is nothing quite like the quiet promise of Spring after a long winter. One day you step out and warm sunshine is making your roof drip, and grass begins to show through the thinning snow. Familiar birds return and you spot the year’s first vegetation poking up through the soil. You can smell the Earth again. You’re flooded with memories of being a kid during the same months, lying out in the yard feeling that warm breeze blowing in.

Summer creeps up and slowly wears you the fuck out. Most of the flowers dry up and the grass gets scorched. Everything looks like shit, and right when you get tired of it all and want to throw yourself off a bridge, you notice the leaves turning yellow at an alarming rate. Nights grow cold, mushrooms pop up, and you remember how pleasant brittle leaves sound rattling along the street. Things get real damp and take on that nutty smell of decay. Some primal part of you gets real amped up for the harvest.

Halloween night brings with it the last echo of life, then the world grows quiet and dead. The frosts come and snow falls. Christmas is real cozy, and then a month later you’re eyeballing that bridge again. Doesn’t seem so high. Might be nice to throw yourself off it every now and again. Maybe this is will be the year…

Then one particularly warm afternoon you hear the trill of a robin.

For years now whenever I submit bookings for potted plants/floral at work, there is an entry down toward the very bottom that reads “Flowering Planter 7in Ass” and it gets me every time.

Carbon nanotubes are real? I thought that shit was invented for upgrades and repairs in No Man’s Sky…

How are all these fucking idiots still confused that disliking the Israeli government has fuck all to do with disliking Jews? Do they know this, and just choose to make it about something more?

I was beating my meat to Natalya’s (Goldeneye 64) cone-shaped tits at age 10. It may have been arguably better for me than jerking off to droves of actual tits.

…Not that I wasn’t doing that also…

Kick his ass, Seabass!

Hate when that happens…