“Oi, Dutchman!”

…

“O hallo!”

She got a stank to her, sure… but she knows her way around a circus peanut.

I say! Simply extravagant cummies! 🧐👌

I have so many memories of my dad driving us up to the corner store, beer in hand, to put $5 in the tank and rent us Megaman 4.

Cheesing is a state of mental euphoria which is triggered by sniffing a cat’s urine. One common method involves positioning one’s face behind a cat.

“So do beets and iron pills, grandpa.”

“Ain’t the same thing, pussy…”

What does it taste like? I imagine it’s tough as hell and tastes like a bland, overcooked pork chop, but with a mild hay smell.

Years back when I worked for Kmart, there was some sort of large Samsung Galaxy tablet advertised as a Black Friday front-page exclusive for only $40. As you can imagine, people were ready to kick the fucking doors down to get their hands on those, because anyone dumb enough to participate in the Black Friday madness is definitely too dumb to know why 1gb non-expandable storage is next to fucking worthless. Not to mention they had the weakest hardware imaginable, with a whopping 1.5 MP camera.

Black Friday is such a cheap illusion.

The number gets higher and higher every time a console dweeb makes the argument that they’re not constantly fucking themselves.

It’s a nice one, too. It makes the room feel like it’s full of music. Presidents only get the best braiders.

I don’t know if this will age like my previous belief that PS1 had photo-realistic graphics, but I feel like 4k is the peak for TVs. I recently bought a 65" 4k TV and not only is it the clearest image I’ve ever seen, but it takes up a good chunk of my livingroom. Any larger would just look ridiculous.

Unless the average person starts using abandoned cathedrals as their livingrooms, I don’t see how larger TVs with even higher definition would even be practical. Especially if you consider we already have 8k for those who do use cathedral entertainment systems.

It is kind of wild. Some dudes have small dicks, big dicks, egg-shaped dicks… Stinky dicks with moles on them… Fat dicks with freckles… Dicks that look like sad elephants… Dicks that look like Shar Peis…

Then you have big vaginas, small vaginas, long vaginas, sleeve of wizard vaginas, jutting serrated-looking labia vaginas, wise old horse-like vaginas, cauliflower vaginas, meat pile vaginas, vaginas that look like Shar Peis…

And any of these… And I mean any of them… can be on the hottest person you’ve seen in your life. It’s like opening a Kinder Egg. Drop in a coin, pull the lever, and see what surprises await you in the dankest, steamiest, most razor-burnt region inside of your new partner’s pants.

Same. 7-3:30 most days. Some an hour or two earlier. I always crash out after lunch, or guaranteed by 1:30. At that point I’m just walking around trying to find shit to do.

Are you talking Australian Kmart or North American? In North America it was minimum wage for the vast majority of workers and zero benefits. I only made $11 USD (my store went under in 2016) as a supervisor with keys to the store and the safe, so it was a pretty shit arrangement. But it was a good stepping stone that got me into managing within the grocery industry, where I’m making significantly more for much more palatable work.

As a former PM Supervisor at Kmart, I think I just got mildly triggered by the K-Mart’s store closing part. That liquidation process was hands down the most monumentally stressful and hellish period of my life. Fuck that company and everyone who turned up to plunder it.

It wasn’t terrible for what it was. I just remember being let down after years of listening to my best friend’s other friend telling me all of these promises he had fully subscribed to. It all sounded too good to be true, but both us and the industry itself were too young to have experienced overpromises like that. I thought maybe I just didn’t know how far technology had come, and we were about to see it fully manifest in all its glory…

But what we got was a fuck load of bloom and a few branching choices. And a marriage system that let you be gay. I definitely made my guy gay. Well, not at first. At first I married the barber because I thought I’d get free haircuts. That didn’t work. So I made my guy gay.

Guns and football seem pretty gay to me…

I can both hear and feel the creaking ricketyness of this, and it feels kind of nice on my brain.

Somethingsomethingsomething UNATCO? 😶