Every time I brush my teeth, they glow in the dark for the next 24 hours

When I’m completely naked I’m invisible.

I can upvote or downvote as many times as I want

I GET IMMORTALITY!

The ability to enter and bring objects/people into a space where time flows while it stops in the outside world. For a surface level example, you have a table in front of you and you could just by touching the table for example teleport to this place and proceed to play minecraft for an hour and then teleport back to the real world and continue from the same point. You could also store stuff there.

Super speed of course!!

Every single (non-human) animal is friendly to me.

Ability to become any fictional character with all their skills and powers while retaining my identity.

Will to live

I can shit at will

infinite money

Just gimme photographic memory.

Controlling time to undue mistakes i have done in the past

The ability to find any file I please from anywhere I choose no matter how confidential or copyrighted it is. (It’s… for a Club Penguin archival project, yeah)

being happy

I don’t need superpowers, just let me not be depressed while retaining a functioning cock/not feeling numb to the world.

Alright, fun’s over, let the monkey’s paw curl.