The ol woody loophole

You get pregnant by putting a snake in the woman’s boot, right?

ENHANCE

nah dude do I smell high?

dude dylan do the laundry

I am a vain jangler and it’s pretty fun

Yeah

DON’T TELL ME WHAT I WOULDN’T STEAL

Filming this crime spree is the best idea I ever had

That’s why my dad told me to always get a receipt. It’s not a business thing, it’s an alibi thing!

I asked my cat why he was screaming and he looked at me and screamed “mreowoewow” which I take to mean “would you like a list?”

you know what fuckit i just grabbed some weapons grade copium from the dispensary and I’ll see y’all in four yeeaar’s . [89][ me is taking over.

clerics when they see a woman:

What about a pointed stick?

Hey same here

Eat a big fried chicken dinner

Me too frend, me too

Have you tried not eating the toothpaste

Oh they’re never peaceful