When I die, I want to be turned into a drone.

It’s a travesty that his inauguration will coincide with MLK Day.

Potash for quota I need. But no potash have I. However, tungsten I have. Is anyone I can I trade tungsten for potash?

You sound incredibly pretentious.

I’m sorry, but I’m not talking about McDonalds. I’m not talking about engineered food products. I mean a good thick slab of fresh bread made from flour, salt, a bit of sugar, and not much else. Served with a big dash of butter. That is heaven.

The healthspan stuff? Completely irrelevant to my point. What is the point of a healthspan if you deny yourself all the pleasures of life? Enjoy all things in moderation. But I firmly reject this whole, “well…have a little wheat bread if you muuust…anything else is abusive.”

“Do you even know what real food tastes like?”

Well you clearly know what your own farts smell like. Jesus Wept! Your head is so far up your ass you can see the contents of your own stomach.

You sacrifice and sacrifice, cutting everything out of your habits or diet that may bring you pleasure, only for the sake of extending your life. Then at the end of it all, you look back in dismay, in the dismal realization that despite your years, you have never lived at all…

“Look at the racist things I saw down at the Klan rally!”

No shit. Why are you sharing it?

Submariner it is!

Perhaps. But if that’s the case, then I’m pretty sure that makes Mac OS Eastern Orthodox.

What oddball OS would be Ethiopian Orthodox?

Linux distros are just the new “101 flavors of Protestantism,” complete with radical zealots who believe you will go to Hell for choosing the wrong one.