unreachable.cloud
  • Communities
  • Create Post
  • Create Community
  • heart
    Support Lemmy
  • search
    Search
  • Login
  • Sign Up
ComradeSharkfucker@lemmy.ml to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.worldEnglish · 18 hours ago

do I accept?

lemmy.ml

message-square
50
fedilink
499

do I accept?

lemmy.ml

ComradeSharkfucker@lemmy.ml to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.worldEnglish · 18 hours ago
message-square
50
fedilink
alert-triangle
You must log in or register to comment.
  • sanbdra@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    3
    ·
    2 hours ago

    Not gonna lie, I had to read that twice to make sure I wasn’t dreaming 😂

  • JennaR8r@lemmy.dbzer0.com
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    7
    ·
    4 hours ago

    I am so tired of political spam texts. Now they’re political spam sexts.

  • shweddy@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    12
    ·
    6 hours ago

    When others go low I get high with the obamas

  • Mwa@thelemmy.club
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    3
    ·
    5 hours ago

    Yes

  • melfie@lemmy.zip
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    5
    ·
    6 hours ago

    At least there would be more eye witnesses to help debunk Joan Rivers’ conspiracy theory.

    • JennaR8r@lemmy.dbzer0.com
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      3
      ·
      4 hours ago

      Seeing Michelle dancing to that Bruno Mars song on the Ellen show was, um, nuts.

  • OrteilGenou@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    3
    ·
    5 hours ago

    Hit it and STOP it

  • Evil Kitty@europe.pub
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    12
    ·
    9 hours ago

    Do not accept, he only offers 420 do not accept anything less than 69420

    • Rakudjo@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      7
      ·
      7 hours ago

      Wait, he offered you 69420? I got offered 42069, and took it because it seemed like a pretty good deal. Now I have ragrets.

      • u/lukmly013 💾 (lemmy.sdf.org)@lemmy.sdf.org
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        5
        ·
        7 hours ago

        Depends on the use case. If thousands get separated, 69,420 looks nicer. If you want a port number, only 42069 is valid.

  • wuffah@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    50
    ·
    12 hours ago

  • 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 🇮 @pawb.social
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    43
    ·
    12 hours ago

    Y’all think you’re gonna bang Michelle while Barack watches but it’s really gonna be Barack banging YOU while Michelle watches.

    • TheBrideWoreCrimson@sopuli.xyz
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      2
      ·
      edit-2
      3 hours ago

      In this room with two dicks, I’m not the one with two holes…

      • 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 🇮 @pawb.social
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        3
        ·
        2 hours ago

        “I Have No Mouth, And I Must Scream”

    • FishFace@piefed.social
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      8
      ·
      7 hours ago

      Is that really so bad?

      • 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 🇮 @pawb.social
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        8
        ·
        7 hours ago

        No. In fact, that makes it better imo.

  • Korne127@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    5
    ·
    9 hours ago

    yes!

  • zeejoo@thelemmy.club
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    56
    ·
    15 hours ago

  • Twinklebreeze @lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    83
    ·
    18 hours ago

    Do you think you could perform in front of either of the Obamas? I know I couldn’t.

    • Sanctus@anarchist.nexus
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      111
      ·
      17 hours ago

      I’ll whisper right in Obama’s ear as I cream on his back “this is how you dispose of bus loads of kids,” then I’d smack the back of his head.

      • baatliwala@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        33
        ·
        14 hours ago

      • Soulphite@reddthat.com
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        60
        ·
        17 hours ago

        This is both the best and disturbing thing I’ve read in some time, well done!

        God dammit.

      • AngryDeuce@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        7
        ·
        12 hours ago

      • errer@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        13
        ·
        14 hours ago

        Jesus fucking Christ

      • chunes@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        4
        ·
        12 hours ago

        LMAO. Lemmy comment of the year right here.

      • Dr. Wesker@lemmy.sdf.org
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        13
        ·
        16 hours ago

        On the back, belly, face, etc always seemed like a waste of good cum to me. Like, if it’s not being absorbed by mucus membranes somewhere, then are you really living?

      • bdonvr@thelemmy.club
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        1
        ·
        10 hours ago

        deleted by creator

    • oyfrog@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      15
      ·
      17 hours ago

      Perform what though?

      • wuffah@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        8
        ·
        edit-2
        12 hours ago

        Perform vaginal sex upon Mrs. Obama as Mr. Obama pumps his fist and chants “Yes we can!”

      • AnchoriteMagus@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        16
        ·
        17 hours ago

        King Lear.

        It’s only the first act, though. You’ll be fine.

      • endlesseden@pyfedi.deep-rose.org
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        38
        ·
        17 hours ago

        Under Pressure, clearly

        • maccentric@sh.itjust.works
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          1
          ·
          edit-2
          49 minutes ago

          I can fake the drums; hardest part will be finding a vocalist the vocalists

        • bdonvr@thelemmy.club
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          5
          ·
          10 hours ago

          Pressure

          Pushing down on me

          Pressing down on you

        • SwingingTheLamp@piefed.zip
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          8
          ·
          16 hours ago

          💀

  • Dr. Wesker@lemmy.sdf.org
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    32
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    edit-2
    17 hours ago

    I find Michelle to be attractive, so I’d say yes. Unless Mr. Obama is also looking to get freaky, then probably no.

    • ComradeSharkfucker@lemmy.mlOP
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      17
      arrow-down
      3
      ·
      edit-2
      17 hours ago

      Personally there are exactly 0 US presidents I’d fuck. They do not deserve sex imo

      • bdonvr@thelemmy.club
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        19
        ·
        10 hours ago

        Oh yeah??? So you’re telling me if we did a comprehensive review of your comments we wouldn’t find any instance of you saying “fuck [president’s name]”???

        Checkmate, gottem, I rest my case.

        • ComradeSharkfucker@lemmy.mlOP
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          3
          ·
          3 hours ago

          you got me

      • Dr. Wesker@lemmy.sdf.org
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        17
        ·
        17 hours ago

        James Garfield was kind of good looking, I might bottom for him.

        • faythofdragons@slrpnk.net
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          25
          ·
          16 hours ago

          Lincoln, but only if I get to wear the hat

          • reev@sh.itjust.works
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            8
            ·
            12 hours ago

            Lincoln, but only if I get to wear the beard

      • starik@lemmy.zip
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        11
        arrow-down
        2
        ·
        16 hours ago

        This is why we needed Kamala

    • AnchoriteMagus@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      9
      ·
      17 hours ago

      He just wants to watch.

      • Dr. Wesker@lemmy.sdf.org
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        10
        ·
        17 hours ago

        Oh, that’s okay then.

  • m3t00🌎@piefed.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    15
    ·
    16 hours ago

    go for the weed w/presidential seal. 🎡

  • DoubleDongle@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    19
    ·
    17 hours ago

    Would. Both of them.

    • Okokimup@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      24
      ·
      17 hours ago

      Some experiences are just so crazy, you have to say yes, given the opportunity, so that freakiness can be born into the universe through you.

      • Burninator05@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        17
        ·
        17 hours ago

        You’re not going to not take the Obamas up on a threesome. That kind of opportunity doesn’t knock twice.

    • starik@lemmy.zip
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      4
      ·
      16 hours ago

      Careful before you commit; we haven’t seen them in a while.

Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world

lemmyshitpost@lemmy.world

Subscribe from Remote Instance

Create a post
You are not logged in. However you can subscribe from another Fediverse account, for example Lemmy or Mastodon. To do this, paste the following into the search field of your instance: [email protected]

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful

Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

…


2. No Illegal Content

Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

…


3. No Spam

Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

…


4. No Porn/Explicit

Content


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

…


5. No Enciting Harassment,

Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

…


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

…

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

Visibility: Public
globe

This community can be federated to other instances and be posted/commented in by their users.

  • 5.26K users / day
  • 10.2K users / week
  • 15.4K users / month
  • 28.5K users / 6 months
  • 1 local subscriber
  • 38.9K subscribers
  • 23.7K Posts
  • 504K Comments
  • Modlog
  • mods:
  • Striker@lemmy.world
  • Aer@lemmy.world
  • WiildFiire@lemmy.world
  • Decoy321@lemmy.world
  • The Picard Maneuver@startrek.website
  • Flying Squid@lemmy.world
  • The Picard Maneuver@lemmy.world
  • BE: 0.19.5
  • Modlog
  • Instances
  • Docs
  • Code
  • join-lemmy.org