I’m lucky to have met my perverted wife on a day I was feeling brave!
Many self-declared “perverted men” think doggy-style is bdsm
Being vanilla as I am feels like being one of those hipster guys that eats exclusively organic and buys only farmers market food
When you are German and they read you the ORIGINAL Grim tales at bedtime, you know what’s up sooner than you’d wish.
Stolen! :D
what… what happened to the wolf?
He met a predator in the woods
She ain’t called the red riding hood for nothin’
My wife is quite perverted but so am I.
Where can I meet with perverted women?
People with smaller hands could probably fist me already, and I’m open to opening up even wider.
no joke i used to be one of those dudes that thought i could keep going and never get tired until i met a woman one day that wore my ass out i think i was asleep for like 14 hours lmao shit was fucking wild
Entirely anecodotal but:
Nearly every woman I’ve met/dated/etc that’s described themself as a pervert or a freak or extremely kinky, that’s a significant element of their personality?
They’re the absolute most boring, plain and lazy in the bedroom, and they also tend to have fairly to extremely serious mental/personality disorders/problems.
Conversely, not all, but far far more of the ones that do not describe themselves as that?
They are actually quite often the most active and creative and willing to try new things, actually reciprocate effort in the bedroom.
Absolutely no clue if this is any kind of representative sample, but it is my experience.
The literal only exception to at least the first half of this was the actually diagnosed nymphomaniac, who was, other than that, a rather meek and reserved person, 95% of the time.
Also I guess for the record, I don’t consider myself ‘perverted’, just sex positive and I guess kinkier than your average
beartwink.This isn’t limited to sexual preferences, though. That’s just…peacocking, bragging because they want you to like them. People who like something for clout are often excessive in their bragging about it. The people who actually like a thing, sexual or otherwise, tend to integrate it and just enjoy that thing for themselves.
Unless you’re autistic, then everyone gets to know about it. But that’s noticeable too.
The difference is between saying, “I’m a freak in bed,” and “Let me tell you about this one super-niche part of the rope-play community and how it’s actually more of an art form than anything sexual.”
Well see thats the thing.
I am autistic.
Autistic people tend to only info dump when its either a very low stakes, close to anonymous environment… or, when they actually really really trust or admire someone. In the latter case, the infodumping itself is a sign that they basically like you, are comfortable with you.
To me, normies that peacock most or all of their personality… they just think their masks are themselves. They seem to barely even be aware of what they are doing.
Whats actually happening is that really, only the mask actually exists.
Theres not very much underneath, beyond basically the mindset of an immature child/teenager.
And that kind of a person, frankly, is so mentally childlike, that at least to me, I can’t be turned on by or sexually attracted to that… they’re just a child in an adult body. They have too little self awareness and self understanding for me to view them as a responsible adult capable of giving informed consent.
I get you.
The day you realize that you’re more than your mask can be earth-shattering. I still remember mine, and it took me another decade to start learning who I was behind it.
It’s like someone waking up from the matrix and you can’t date someone who’s still plugged in.
A great case of those who think they are something only do so because they don’t realize how deep the rabbit hole goes.
Dunning Kruger of personality traits is very real.
It’s the laziness that’s the worst. Someone not putting any effort in is insulting.
The dead fish position.
Depends on, some are extremely kinky/horny, some are just literal pickmes trying to better market themselves to what they think they will like. I knew one such pickme, se converted to fundamentalist christianity within a year.
Yeah, there does seem to a dynamic like that at play… a bunch of people just say shit about themselves, that they think will make other people like them.
It would be nice if people were actually self aware and honest, with both themselves and others, but apparently that isn’t the meta.
That being said… converting to fundamentalist Christianity?
That’s some legit insanity right there, either that or a person who is deeply insecure and needs validation/meaning imposed on them.
They’re the absolute most boring, plain and lazy in the bedroom, and they also tend to have fairly to extremely serious mental/personality disorders/problems.
I encountered a woman once that talked about how freaky she was in bed, in a way that openly encouraged investigation.
Investigation commenced.
Turns out her idea of bein freaky was Doggy Style.
Yeah. Yep. Basically that is what I’m talking about.
Yeah, I’m sharing my own personal anecdote backing up your statement.
Sorry, tone is somewhat difficult to convey via text sometimes… I am basically trying to sigh in acknowledgement/agreement with you, lol.
Are you in the kink community? The girls i meet there are anything but vanilla.
No.
To the best of my knowledge there just isn’t one, in or near my current location, pretty solidly red, conservative area, and back when I was in a bluer area… well frankly back then I didn’t have any need to specifically join a community to try and find people interested in sex.
And/or if said community involves making something approximating a Facebook account, ahahaha fuck no, no I actually value Palantir and the NSA not knowing exactly who I’m fucking and precisely how.
A fetlife account is pretty much as anonymous as a Lemmy account. You might look up your area there and see what you can find. Living in a red area doesnt mean there aren’t kinky people. There ase plenty of right wing kinksters out there.
Well I’d prefer to avoid the right wing kinksters, but… fine. Fine, maybe the time has come to finally make a fetlife account… grumble grumble
From what I’ve been able to gather browsing through the not Craiglist personals in my area… most of it seems to be ~45 yo married couples looking for a black unicorn to cuck the husband, or single dudes looking for a transwoman.
Definitely not beating the stereotypes for a pretty solid red area…
Yeeeep. I’ve dated enough to realize how vanilla I am, hooooly shit. And I’m OKAY WITH IT. Ladies need Jesus for real.
😳😳😳
I some how managed to only date the most vanilla of vanilla. Lucky me /s
Yeah, I think I’m pretty vanilla myself. (Maybe a little cookie dough in there for variety, idk.) But there are some people in the kink community who are truly amazing. There are some shitty people in there too, but the good ones? Sterling. I’m proud to keep them in my circle of friends.
If anyone wants to test this theory I’m willing to do my part. And if I don’t succeed I’m willing to try try try again
Also the dudes who say " i’m can fuck all day, everyday!!", then they meet a woman who can actually fuck all day. They will be looking like the Creepshow ghoul by weeks end.
There’s an entire meme category about it
Women: can get off 7-10 times in a row
Men: busts once, needs an hour and a Gatorade before they can go again
Guy probably would not need the gatorade if the woman was Amazon riding him or something, and doing all the actual physical work of fucking.
Gal would then probably need the gatorade.
Yeah, men have a refractory period, women essentially do not, can’t really fundamentally change that, though guys can do kegels and such to last longer/maintain erection/do their own orgasm control.
Guys also can get off 7 to 10 times in a row.
It’d just take longer, due to the refractory period, and would also literally require more physical work.
You ever literally fucked for an entire today?
You both need breaks and gatorade, guy and gal.
Women get quite sore down there if done poorly and even with a great foreplay and plenty of lube, it’ll still get sore.
While i could go again in an hour, once she stops? It’s GG.
Me: has fingers
The REAL fun is when you force orgasms on her until she’s begging you to stop.
Once? My record is like 4 (listening to power metal). Though at some point they start merging together so it’s hard to count them
Ahh, when I was younger I could do unspeakable things… now I just want to sleep
The right amount of various amphetamines though…
Better invest in quality lube.
The ones that didn’t fucked their own spunk out of her and were less likely to reproduce. This is a whole rant… But basically the male penis is designed to scrape competing sperm out of a woman. If you’re ready to go again rapidly you make it harder for your genes to pass on in prehistory.
I have no interest in passing on my genes, the world’s not ready for them.
afaik it is allowed to use other appendages
Right? I had a friend quote “I only got so many mini mes swimming in me” and I was like dude, sex isn’t over just because peepee go limp.
Well, you gotta build up some jet fuel to cum again. If you were to mpreg them with some pegging you’d see recharge times quickly rise as they reabsorbed the cum for fuel
My bad, it’s my fault for having eyes to read this
Bro took bro science to a whole new level.
Each time this meme is posted I look into comments to search for proofs of those “perverted” woman. Yet to see one. “Uh, I do rimming, that is sooo kinky”. Your “kinks” so uncommon that you can find them in top 10 tags on rule34, focking adorable.
I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe
If your kind has more then 100 entries on e621 you ain’t depraved enough!
To be fair and to not look absolutely deranged: I do understand that it’s not a competition.
If you like vanilla or popular stuff — good for you, no kink shaming. It’s just that I’m a perverted male and I’m not scared by hypothetical “perverted woman”, cause I yet to see one that outkink me (albeit, in answers to my initial comment there some potential one, I’ll admit).
So meme kinda doesn’t make sense and doesn’t work for me. That the whole point.
My first date was to Folsom street fair and I lived in a sex dungeon for two years. There aren’t names for the things that get me off. I was asked, after the best orgasm of my life, ‘was that sex?’. I once made a state legislator who lived in San Francisco turn pale at an event.
But no, women aren’t kinky just because we don’t talk about it where men can hear because you’re all fucking obnoxious and the dumber ones still want to bang you people.
Edit: I’m not claiming to be the kinkiest person alive, just that everyone I’ve ever met kinkier than me used she or they pronouns.
How did those 2 years go? Was it with health insurance and a good salary, or was it more of an after job thing?
Started off in desperation and affinity. Ended up hourly. I got real good with bleach.
Same. 100% same.
A friend thought she was edgy to throw rimming in a “never have I ever” as if it defined kink. Awww… Sweetie, that’s cute.
No shade intended but for my own curiosity what’s like a normal kinky thing or a very kinky thing? Ty
Kink is weird. There are some things that are considered kinky but aren’t super kinky (biting, feet, degradation/praise, ect) that can be done with anyone if the vibe is right. Then there are kinky kinks that are a little less common and require more trust and familiarity to be done safely.
Kinky for me is to be tied down and have hot wax poured over me while I’m blindfolded. Or free use / cnc type stuff, being available 24/7 without word at literally anytime to be used as they please. Or ddlg / age regression with a daddy dom that extends outside of the bedroom.
Kinky for me is to be tied down and have hot wax poured over me while I’m blindfolded. Or free use / cnc type stuff, being available 24/7 without word at literally anytime to be used as they please. Or ddlg / age regression with a daddy dom that extends outside of the bedroom.
Idk, I feel like these are still pretty vanilla. At least as far as the people in this thread are saying “I’m soooo kinky”.
Of course, this is all the societal hedonic treadmill in kink. All kink becomes vanilla eventually. But at this point I feel like it isn’t “real” kink unless it makes me queasy or say “what the fuck?” Like, furries, pet play, shit, piss, vomit, blood, asphyxiation, and sounding are “real” kink to me. Anything that boils down to basically “you’re in charge of me” or “you inflict pain on me” is pretty vanilla.
And then I’ve heard of being set on fire and sensory deprivation, which seems less like a kink and more like a silly experience / party trick
I think it’s jaded to consider ddlg or cnc vanilla but idk man. I’m not here to gatekeep what is or isn’t kinky enough to be kinky, I’m just positing the model of distinction to be things that could be achieved with with a stranger through simple body language, and things that require more intent / communication/ set up to be achieved.
Being set on fire, feels more fetishistic / excentrism than kink to me but I’m not Mr Webster so idk.
I’ve never liked CNC sex. Feels more like masturbation with a safety officer. Prefer those kinds of tools be operated manually.
To each their own, masturbation doesn’t do it for me personally
Shibari is normal for me. That’s just my jam. Not into impact, blood, not super into choking, but can do it more-or-less safely if that’s what my partner enjoys receiving. No shit or piss (technically squirting is mostly pee, but somehow that’s okay). I like tying a partner up, blindfolding them, and then alternating between soft/erotic touch and riding crop/paddle/etc. Or tickling, but that’s one is a bit risky, since I had a partner that nearly dislocated a shoulder straining at the ropes. Feet are meh, biting is okay, wax seems like a pain to clean up.
Had a partner that really wanted to be ‘abducted’ and ‘raped’; never got around to it before we broke up. It would have been risky in a big city, but still…
Iv seen rape play go about as wrong as it can and now I absolutely fucking hate the idea of any form of power dynamic that can be abused.
To be short, a good friend ended up having a girl convince him to tie her up and “rape” her. She arranged to have a friend show up and call the cops.
Ruined his entirely life. He’s still in jail from it. They had dated for a bit over a year and till then I had thought they were a great couple. She just turned out to be a raging fucking cunt who wanted all his shit.
Fucking stole everything from him basically.
Swear to God it feels like the only reason she got away with it is she was white and he was black.
Had a girl pull out a full set of knives for “scraping and light cutting”. Never been more scaroused
I’d say three ways are pretty common, but trains and glory holes and the like get pretty kinky imo
Definitely goes much further down the rabbit hole but I’ve not gone that deep
scaroused
Fuck I’m using that term from now on. One of my girls loves knife play, and, well so much more.
Normal kinky is whatever you like that’s a step or two beyond vanilla missionary stuff. Intentional, deliberate stuff that requires a bit of trust. Or, at least, willingness to try something. Could be rimming or other butt stuff. Could be dressing up or light role play. Dirty talk. Threesomes. Spanking. Things like that. Things that most couples might try one or twice to satisfy curiosity.
Very kinky requires a lot of trust. Bondage. S&M. Knives. Group situations. Hugely demeaning public stunts. Glory holes. It’s consensual teamwork toward a deep, psychological goal.
i really don’t like “knives” in there
And yet, the people into it are all about it. Don’t yuck their yum. And it’s more of a scraping and almost-but-not cutting thing. Usually.
I’ve seen it done in an up close private performance. 100% not for me personally, but seeing it happen, hearing the scraping, seeing the woman go wild for it was amazing. I respect the discipline needed to do it right.
I dislike the notion that some people lay down of “oh that’s not kinky, what I do is kinky”. It’s not a competition, nobody gets points for being at some “level” of the game. A good kink gets you off HARD and you have an awesome time. It doesn’t have to be some fucking extreme thing where you have to have a bunch of tattoos, black leather, knives, ropes and all that shit. It can be that stuff, but it can be whatever dials up the fuck-o-meter to 11. Fetlife is full of people who want to gatekeep some shit. Every group has insular douchebags who want to say they are the expert. Fuck right off with all that shit.
100% agree, and we agree on the 27-axis spectrum graph.
Personally, I see it as the only real requirement is trust with a partner. That’s also an axis, but without full trust, the less socially acceptable stuff gets out of reach. Doesnt matter what it is, if you trust someone else to do a thing to get you off hard and ping that fuck-o-meter to 11, that’s key.
And gatekeepers of kinks are idiots. Telling people how they should enjoy getting off isn’t a kink itself, it’s asshole behavior.
yeah no yucking, i didn’t mean it like “nobody should do it”, but like “i really don’t like that idea”
Polite cough.
I mean if they bulk at rimming I doubt they’re going to be excited to chase me through the woods 🙄
Men have unique insecurities that are a result of socital expectations. We gaslight ourselves into conforming to a certain expected behavior. Many, if not most cishet men are afraid to explore their sexuality beyond that which is considered the heteronormative standard. Men are victims of the patriarchy as is everyone else.
And the corrollary to that, that even less people want to talk about, is that straight, traditional cis men and women will then mock and shame men who actually do try think outside the box.
So, many men are victims of patriarchy, and many women are perpetrators of patriarchy.
Then you get to the incredibly confusing ‘now’, where many women will claim to be a feminist, yet will also mock and shame men who do not conform to stereotypical cishet male lifestyle/relationship norms.
Actual feminism vs Pop feminism.
Actual feminism seeks to identify and challenge and critique societal gender roles and norms. All societal gender roles and norms.
Pop feminism is basically psuedo (meaning ‘impostor’ or ‘fake’) feminism, that pretty much just boils down to misandry, using a set of buzzwords and terms basically bastardized from actual feminism.
As a cishet man, much to the contrary - the vast majority of my sexual insecurities come from shaming of my sexuality from more left wing spaces.
In what way? Genuinely curious.
Being good at sex is kinda gay, though
/s
Yep. I find the major thing holding me back from most kinks is exactly that; insecurity.
For what it’s worth, you’re not alone.
Wow, this community is a whole lot more supportive than I expected
The posts are shit… The advice is lit…
Everyone here speaks the universal language of shitposting. It would be irrational not to support each other!
I’m glad to hear you say that. I hope you enjoy Lemmy. Welcome!
We have porn for that. Which is 90% only for males.
Matching freaks is hard.
Kink is a spectrum, and I haven’t been exploring it for a few years, but from what I remember, the various communities of kink are always mismatched.
There are always more straight-sub-men than there are straight-dom-women. This compounds when you realize that usually those sub men are looking for certain types of play that the doms aren’t into. Dommy mommies and such.
Like, I think of the feminization community. It’s hard to find people who like feminization, but DON’T also like cuck play, or race-cuck play, which to me is gross but is a major aspect of that community for many.
Non-binary and Lesbians seemed to do okay though. At least in my city.
I am a guy who is a genuine switch.
I’ve only ever met a single genuine female switch, and she was literally a diagnosed nymphomaniac.
I’ve met other guy switches, uncommon but not too uncommon… never ever met another female switch.
Swear to flying spaghetti monster its a curse, its the type O- of sexual styles.
Thank you for posting this. I am 99.9% sure I am a switch (M) but I’ve been dominated for exactly 5 minutes of my life bc every other partner I’ve had (F so far) was 99% sub.
Yeah, by far most women I’ve met are some flavor of sub: brat, princess, service, etc.
Sometimes they’re confused and say they’re something else, spend at least a few weeks to months with them… nope, they’re subs, taking the lead is not something they ever do on their own initiative.
Then, a fair number of woman are genuine doms of some kind, and know it. Occasionally, a few of them will think they are a switch… but again, go for weeks to months, no, they genuienly hate it when they’re not in control.
But a woman switch? Who not only can, but has to switch the power dynamics, who can’t help themselves from doing that, who needs a shifting balance of both?
Yeah, at least in my experience, about as common as a shiny pokemon.
EDIT:
Ok, upon reflection, I have met a second, I think, genuine female switch.
Long story short, masseuse. Masseuse who tried multiple times to give me a ‘happy ending’ that I did not ask for, and that I refused multiple times.
She did seem to genuienly enjoy playing with power dynamics, lets just put it that way. Basically, it got to the point where I actually had to use some measured physical force to stop her from trying to give me a handy… she was very insistent, pouty when I stopped her… but also seemed aroused by being slightly manhandled / me flipping the power dyanamic.
We did not ever actually get to the point of what I would call ‘having sex’, but damn if that wasn’t the kind of mindset and temperment of an actual Switch.
As a straight dom male, I can tell you that the inverse is also true. Straight sub women routinely want me to do stuff that isn’t BDSM and is actual abuse. I blame the 50 shades of grey series at least in part for that.
For sure. All of my friends in the community HATE 50 Shades of Grey
Straight sub women routinely want me to do stuff that isn’t BDSM and is actual abuse.
Give some examples?
I have very few restrictions when it comes to someone getting physical with me as long as it’s not permanent. I have found plenty of doms lacking because they express discomfort in rougher kinks. Light bruising is not abuse for example although you should probably take your time and get to know me well enough so that you trust I’m not crazy and that I won’t tell people you’re battering me.
One lady wanted me to choke her till she passed out. Another lady wanted a bag over her head. Another asked me to “punch me and leave bruises while I cum.” I could go on, but honestly it’s kinda disturbing.
Then there are the people that confuse CNC with straight up rape. Rape fantasy is one thing. Asking me to organize a CNC “home breakin” with people that you specifically don’t know and have never met isn’t something I would have any idea how to do safely.
Oh dear god do not do the donkey punch, no no no no, noooooo.
I’ve never been asked to, but I knew guys who were, and like… doing the equivalent of that in a competetive martial art would get you heavily penalized, potentially forfeit the match or functionally end your career.
Very not safe.
Someone keept telling me about how they wanted me to do CNC stuff, and I pretty much felt nauseous at hearing that shit.
deleted by creator
The first few are fine?
The last one is where I would draw the line, even if it involved vetting people off of fetlife.
There’s a difference between hard doms and soft doms. It sounds more like you’re the second and I don’t think that’s a bad thing. Some of us genuinely enjoy being hit and choked and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it. It means we trust you enough to even ask at all. If it’s not something you enjoy or feel comfortable doing that is also fine.
Choking someone until they pass out is absolutely not fine. That’s extremely dangerous and will cause permanent harm. You shouldn’t should never be anywhere NEAR the point of losing consciousness.
I know choking can feel good, but there’s no safe way to do it aside from just putting your hand there and applying zero pressure. You’re literally depriving your brain of oxygen.
I don’t really have much to say besides calling you a coward. Obviously there’s risk involved. That’s part of the point.
The problem is that people underestimate the risk. For many it’s not worth the risk, they just don’t realize it
This gave me a bit of a giggle because I used to know a real one who would show off their work. Not as a trophy or anything, more like, “This is how bruised I’m willing to make someone.” A display of competence, but also a limit. He had anonymized photos from different sessions, and it gave great insight into what impact play actually looks like.
All pictures were taken and shown from the neck down, with consent.
This unfortunately, too real. It’s really unfortunate that it’s gotten bad for both genders,
And I’m a straight dom male, I’m very chill but, a lot of women into things that make me nope out
Yeah, as a lesbian sub I’ve noticed one big problem facing straight male subs is a lot of dominant women interested in men get burnt out of the community by bad experiences pretty quickly.
I think it’s partly that yeah ime a lot of dominant straight women are looking for someone masculine, competent, and submissive, while the men tend to be looking more for degradation and caretaking, and neither group seems to be great at finding compromise, and the men often don’t notice what the women are looking for.
But also, bad subs abound. And it’s not just men. I used to switch, but bad experience not related drove me away from it, and around the time I was considering dominance again a submissive woman violated my boundaries to the point IDK if I’ll ever be comfortable domming again. I’ve watched other women have similar experiences with one friend have a string of male subs make her decide to look for submissive men in the non kink scene.
And yeah, what I’ve seen of the feminization types is a real mix of yikes and eggs. Even if I were into men, domming, and feminization I’d be hesitant to get into that can of worms.
Yup, gotta say that it took a few years after being a pro with men that I felt any urge to domme … and now I’m looking for a compatible fem sub I’m not keeping my hopes up
Oof yeah from what I’ve seen pros typically get really jaded, and that tends to either screw with their desire to dom or get them weird about it. Which like makes perfect sense from everything I’ve seen and heard.
And yesh finding a compatible partner can be very difficult. I lucked out and on my first date with my wife told her that part of what I wanted from life was lifestyle power exchange and she’d never even realized that was what she wanted.
But yeah in addition to compatibility issues, I’ve noticed over the years that a lot of subs are just awful at selling themselves to dommes.
There’s also a spectrum for sub guys. From what I’d like to call ‘compliant’ to ‘doormat.’
Some want a guy who’s confident, strong, typical male traits, but lets her decide things and pick stuff. Other side of that is the ones who want to be property.
Idk. Lining shit up in the kink spaces is so damned hard that it’s harder than finding even regular relationships.
What’s a bad sub or dom if I may ask
Be spesific
Being specific is hard because it’s just a category of being a bad partner, and as such there’s plenty of ways to do it lol.
I’ll start by giving a quick overview on how to be a good kink partner: respect boundaries and know your own, communicate and listen, build skills appropriate for your role and interests (you can learn more by talking to people into that interest in the community, especially in the other role, and learning both sides even if you only want to do one is encouraged), know what you want and don’t want, but be open to what you’re not sure about, and in general just try to see everyone in the community as full people, not just as [role]. And for that last one, I really can’t emphasize enough how much better you come off if you have friends across roles and genders, but also the people you’re compatible with are just people, don’t put them into their role until you’ve discussed it and agreed to it.
A lot of the worst experiences involve people who have personality disorders that aren’t sufficiently dealt with for relationships to be a good idea. All of the really bad subs I was thinking of in my comment had borderline personality disorder and had not undergone dbt. They were all also kinda looking for a partner to fix them. But also the domme that got pushed away had bpd, but had underwent years of treatment and had developed healthy habits and understanding of her limits.
So for some specific bad behaviors. Boundary pushing is big. If someone says no or gives an excuse, that means no unless clearly negotiated with a safeword to replace the no. Attempting to negotiate someone’s boundaries or to guilt them into something they’re not interested in is very bad. Overdependance on someone is bad, especially when they don’t agree to it. Your dominant (or submissive) isn’t your therapist they’re somewhere between romantic partner and fuckbuddy, and you should know where you stand (if you don’t know, talk about it with them).
Now for just general bad form things, they’re more akin to being a bad lay. Dominants being overconfident and doing things they aren’t skilled enough to do without giving a heads up (plenty of experienced subs will agree to be a practice dummy to someone they trust, but it’s often not cool to try something the first time without saying so). Subs that come in with a checklist of things they expect from a scene rather than presenting a menu of options and limits and letting the dom construct a scene out of it. Related are the subs who can’t let go of control in a scene after asserting that that’s what they want (if you say it’s what you want but you’re unsure you’re able that’s a different story). The inverse also sucks, subs who don’t know what they’re interested in or what their limits are (and “no limits” is neither true nor appreciated). Subs who neither have skills nor interest in building them. People who jump right into roles without talking about it.
In general new people are given a lot of grace and so long as it’s not overt consent violations the worst a new person will need to do is apologize when corrected and try to do better.
I agree with most of the comments and sentiments in this thread. Being a male switch I’ve seen all sides of things and the bad actors abound regardless of declared genders.
The big line between pleasure subs and service doms is a large one. Getting bound up and teased and used is a far cry from being someone’s table or maid.
Media definitely sets a lot of bad expectations but occasionally one strikes gold and the magic makes you not give up.
Spectrum? I am going to say more like a switch board. It is hard to get all of those connections aligned, and even in vanilla relationships I don’t think anyone ever does.
I would agree that kink is a spectrum, or axis. Specifically, it’s the Z-axis to the masculine/feminine attraction (“gay-straight” but generalized) X-axis and sexual intensity (aka, horniness level) Y-axis. That’s right, we’re going 3D.
It’s a 27-axis graph, with each axis being a spectrum. It’s 27 dimensions of sexy times.
This is the correct answer. Within even one seemingly narrow kink, there are so many flavors of it.
Biblically accurate sexuality graph :3
BE NOT AFRAID 📉👁📈
You really don’t wanna go there, because it involves donkeys, ‘justified’ murder and rape, and pedophilia, as axes.
This is exhilarating. Get excited!
queers are kinky in more based ways usually :3
life goals: queer kinky polycule
I’m not perverted, I just want to tie you up, suspend you in the air, and have my way with you
I’m not perverted, I just want to be tied up, suspended up in the air, and let you have your way with me
@lost_faith match made in heaven?
