Bra ones got game
Mermaids are the apex predator & rule the seas - none of the critters are friends, just captive slaves that try their best not to piss her off.
And that’s why a little murmaider is ok.
\m/
Wow you had so many of these ready to go 👀
The person who wrote this is in the very small minority of people (of all genders) who don’t think boobs are awesome.
And even then, how is being her bra not being a friend? Bad bras that cause all sorts of issues and discomfort is such a common thing that any bra that doesn’t should automatically be seen as a friend.
Same way we decide which animals to eat and which to pet I guess
No no no. I would eat a cow. But I would also pet a cow.
I guess it depends if it’s alive or dead.
oh hey a cute living cow pat pat
dissociates
oh hey a yummy looking dead cow
Pet the bovine cadaver coward.
Mmm, beef patty.
👆
First one, then the other! The order is important…
There are no animals I wouldn’t eat or pet
What about a scorpion?
They’re really unpleasant to eat - much like a tarantula they’re basically all exoskeleton and that makes them a bit like chewing a big mouth full of fried peanut shells. But flavor-wise the meat is actually pretty tasty!
human?
It’s 2026, doesn’t everyone eat ass?
Pure aesthetics.
I would imagine that the ones cupping her titties are “more than just friends”.
Simples, when she out grows her B-shells, she wears her C-shells.
Clearly her bra are her closest friends.
bra friends are the breast friends.
Well starfish have their mouth in the middle of their body, so…
How else do you think they stay on?
Totally. She picks the best kissers.
All right boys, party’s over
…that’s why she uses clam shells.
I’m assuming the same way we decide which animals are okay to eat or not - arbitrarily and by culture. For example, maybe some Pacific tribes of mermaids might be fine using starfish, but Atlantis area that would be considered barbaric, perhaps even with a touch of propaganda saying they use starfish for sexual reasons as well. I love where this is going, I’m gonna go write a controversial AO3 fiction about a Pacific mermaid fighting against Atlantic racism, but secretly in a degrading race-play relationship.
This is Indian Oceanic Mertribe erasure!
Alive: friends. Dead: clothes.
Well, obviously her bosom buddies are her friends! They just clam and do their job.
Edit: when you think about it though, do you really want a couple of clams in charge of guarding your titties?
I’m not sure there’s a way to do that without being shellfish.
And is it based on nipple pinchieness?
