“Poop Gun”

Wait, so is the gun made of poop? Does it fire poop bullets?

Then the sequal:

“Oscillating doormat”

I’m so confused. Why would a microphone need you to be 6’1? How does that even relate?

How are you going to leave the tech at home when the tech is the car?

Well now see, now I’m at a cross roads. On the one hand, fuck privacy violations.

On the other hand, fuck drunk drivers.

I guess in the end, my logic is that this will barely be used to detect drunk drivers, and FULLY used to track you in real time.

So lets all fuck over their technology by making nothing but right turns for 8 hours. Just a massive small circle. For 8 hours, every day.

Then it will be assumed their tracking is broken, and they’ll waste time figuring out whats broken.

If we all do this, every day, in electric vehicles powered by solar chargers, then we’ll save the world!

No no. I can totally believe this happened. I’ve sent women similiar messages when I was younger.

See, it doesn’t matter how much you like a woman, or how funny you are, or how respectful you are, or how big your dick is.

What matters most is that you own it. If you fall on your face, own it. You MEANT to do that. Doesn’t bother you. In fact, do it again. Harder. Break your nose. Start bleeding. Then own it again. That’s what matters. Confidence. The illusion that you know what you’re doing at all times, are comfortable in your own skin.

Oh, and also be tall. That’s the most important thing.

No no no. I would eat a cow. But I would also pet a cow.

I guess it depends if it’s alive or dead.

I mean…in the year 2022 reddit awarded me the 1% award. I just went all year, making my own stupid little comments. I’m only on social media (reddit, and now lemmy) to entertain myself.

Then they gave me this award, and said I was in the top 1% of karma earners for the year.

I still don’t know if I should be proud, or ashamed of that.

American here! Yes please! Start with Cleveland! I live in Cleveland, and I live right on the lake. I’m like a jetski ride away from Canada! We’re practically family!

Plus…and this is the important part…GET ME OUT OF THIS HELLHOLE OF A COUNTRY!!!

He’s your problem now! No takebacks!

Hi, American here. Please never come here. While YOU would be mostly safe, we are still a dumpster fire.

Hi! This is a reply to you! Do you enjoy being social? These are words I am typing! WEEEEEEE!!!

That’s like saying “Oh, hitler made a few bad moral choices…”

All of meta can be described as one massive series of bad moves.

…are you still killing kids?

I’m just going to sit in the center, and barf everywhere, making a huge mess.

Took me waaaaay longer than it should have to realize “p. of c.” means “people of color”.

Still haven’t figured out if you’re censoring it, or if you think p. of c. is a faster way to abbriviate it.

Either way, that “shorthand” is stupid, and you should just write it out.

Targets for what??? Being brown? They need AI to confirm their racism? Was the old peter griffin white/not white chart not doing it for them anymore???

…ok, either you somehow have the ability to alter google results before I search for them, or this is some Bearenstein Bears Bullshit!

I SWEAR it was in 2012…wait, was Kony 2012 not in 2012? I remember them both happening in the same summer.

1980: “I bet there will be flying cars in the future!”

2026: “Oh…nonononononono. That would be far too dangerous. Not after 9/11.”

80: “9/11?”

26: “Yeah, they flew a bunch of planes into buildings, and blew up the pentagon, and the world trade center buildings, and an empty field in PA.”

80: “Why would they blow up an empty field?”

26: “Because those men and women inside that plane are HEROS!”

80: “I don’t understand…”

2020: “Hey guys!”

26: “Oh god! 1980, put this mask on. 2020 is here.”

80: “I don’t understand whats going on…”

2012 2016: "I just shot a gorilla, and altered the future!

20 and 26: “FUCK OFF 2012 2016!!!”

I’m 42. People were stupid all the way back in the 80s.

And based on the fact that people believe in religion, I would go so far as to say people have always been idiots.

how do you think your parents happened

Based on my childhood, I assume some satanic conjuring spell was involved.