Why the fuck does Peach need rescue if she has a better score than Mario???

Look man, I don’t know what to tell you. I tried growing plants, and feeding them Brawndo. It’s not fault stupid plants don’t want to stupid grow! I fed them electrolites and everything. Plants growing on their own is all a conspiracy. Factories grow plants. Everyone knows that!

In 2023 Ohio held a vote to legalize weed. Part of that bill was that business owners could sell lower quality delta 9 in places like gas stations, corner stores, ect. Drinks with THC were allowed at liquor stores. I’m not sure about bars, as I don’t go to bars.

That bill passed overwhelmingly. Legalized pot for everyone!

Well, we’re about 2.5 years since that happened, and without a vote, they have restricted parts of that bill.

Instead of 12 home grow plants, as the bill was passed with, the final legalization only allowed 6 from day 1. Now it’s 3.

Stores that are not dispenseries are no longer allowed to sell the lower grade stuff.

There are stores that popped up, purely to sell the lower grade stores. Then overnight are closed. No longer legal.

Mind you, all of this was approved in a vote, 2 years ago.

My point is, these republicans do not give ONE FUCK about what people want, and vote for. They’ll just change the rules and disregard the will of the people, and change the law without voting.

So 1% chance have a 100% chance if you don’t give a fuck about votes.

10 years ago? I can remember going to catholic school when I was 5, and my dads friends joking that the priest was going to get me, and rape me. I had no idea what that meant at the time, but that was the 1980s.

You’re not.

I have no proof, but you’re not wrong.

Year 2194:

“Well, it’s like my ol’ papy copilot always used to say… 2 + 2 = null.”

That can’t be true. We all know trump can’t count. He’s bankrupted THREE casinos! HOW THE FUCK CAN HE NOT MANAGE A CASINO, BUT CAN RIG AN AMERICAN ELECTION???

No, don’t. Everyone should leave.

You think fascists are still going to allow voting?

Well then they’ll know where all the children are…so they can go find and rape them.

…now see, you SAY funny. I think we have a difference of opinions on humor. You know what I find funny? You ever see that old video from the 90s of Donald Duck slumped down in his chair, getting a handjob from Daisey duck? And he can’t handle it. He’s all like “Ooooooweeeeee!!! Oh my gaaawwwwddddddd!!! Playin wit ma balls! Playin wit ma balls!!! Oooooooh!!!”

And then he just cums EVERYWHERE, and it’s all drippy on Daiseys face. She’s just kneeling there, with a shocked look on her face, and Donald says “I’ll go get you a towel!”

I found that funny. Not so much national corruption, bribery, and internet security fraud.

Uhhhhhh, the greatest generation are all dead. My grandma was in that generation. She was 103 when she died. She’d be 106 today.

There might be a small scattering of the youngest of them, but 99% of them are dead.

What if my political spectrum isn’t on the spectrum at all.

Right wing wants to ban all abortion. Left wing wants all requested abortion to be legal.

Whereas I want mandatory abortion on all pregnancies. I’m not pro-life. I’m not pro-choice. I’m pro-death. Everybody dies!

I also fully support nuking cities, but only as a means of killing all humans. It’s not a political or religious statement.

Actually, can we invent nukes that kill all the humans, but don’t affect the animals? I’m ok with life on earth, just as long as that life isn’t human. Cats are cool. They just look at humans, and judge them, and enslave them. If only they had opposable thumbs, they could take over the world.

As it stands the dominant species on this planet is so dumb it hates other members of it’s own species, just for being a darker shade skin. Or for believing in a different theoretical invisable man in the sky.

And why’s God/Allah/whomever always depicted as male? Why would an omnipresent spirit have genitals at all? Yeah, choke on that. If God did exist, it’s trans by default. And for all you know God and Allah are the same, in the same way that manzanas and apples are the same thing. Jose is eating a manzana, and Bob is eating an apple. Corporate wants you to find the difference in these pictures.

And can we get a government policy that takes a firm stance on vampires? Not ONE government has a prewritten policy on the matter! You can’t convince me Batman isn’t a vampire!

So, lets start a tax system where all of the residents force feed the president bird seed until he throws up, and then use eugenics to create cats capable of mind control. That’s my political stance, and no candidates represent me! These are the flaws in a two party system. There’s a very significant chance that neither party has your best interest at heart.

Can’t get enough of that sugar crisp…keeps me going strong (to kill all the humans)

Homes eats his gf’s clit.

“So, what did you think?”

“Golden delicious!”

“What?”

“That’s what kind of apple that was.”

“…what?”

I wish they had.

I am shocked. SHOCKED I say.

…not that shocked actually.

Ok…this can’t be real. You’re telling me trump is just waiting by the window, watching all the cars go by, then gets excited when a car pulls up the driveway?

I mean, I do that when I’m stoned, but I don’t have a whole team of secret services and whomever on staff to answer the door for me.

For that matter, why did he use doordash at all? What if the delivery driver had a gun? A LOT of people want trump dead. Though I can’t say I’d be surprised if I read the headline “Trump assasinated by McDonalds delivery driver. J.D. Vance cluelessly now president.”

ballsy

I see what you did there.

If I were mcdonalds, I’d sue him. Then put out the next wave of marketing.

“McDonalds! We’re not for pedophiles.”

You could even write a little jingle.

“We don’t diddle kids! It’s no good diddling kids…”

Oh thank god. For a while there I thought I was stuck on this planet with assholes like elon musk, and trump.

Ok, so, this new planet we’re going to…do they have bacon? Or should we find some left leaning farmers to bring some pigs for breeding?

Look, I’m excited to leave this hellhole called earth, but, c’mon. We gotta bring bacon.

But we don’t have to bring pedophiles, or fascists. That’s why we’re leaving earth to begin with.