

I dated a girl who had been raised by a single mother, one sister no brothers, then she went to an all-girl’s college. At 25, I was her first boyfriend. I’m not sure I convinced her we’re the same species. A 5’7" 200 pound man dating a 5’1" 110 pound woman, I was almost twice her size and casually lifted or moved things she utterly couldn’t. She very nearly screamed the first time I picked her up.





Man, I went to a coffee shop with a girl once. This coffee shop sat maybe 24 people, okay? It’s a shallow, wide building. There’s the counter with two baristas working, in front of the counter along the front wall of the building are those narrow “table for two” booths, like 2 or 3 of them. Both the counter and those booths run to the right wall of the building. To the left is a small more open area with maybe 4 four-seat tables.
There was this guy. This male homo sapiens. Who brought an acoustic-electric guitar. A microphone. And two, count them in the eyes of sweet zombie Jesus TWO. 60+ watt amplifiers. Because this was the artistic opportunity of this existing organism’s life. This creature, this placental mammal, was going to REACH his audience on this night. Through all the noise of a commercial AC unit and the single digit number of people that I ever saw in the building, his Green Day covers would be HEARD!
That happened during the winter of 2011. My headcanon is that guy wheezed to death of covid on one of those 3D printed ventilators they tried to get me to help make. I didn’t do those, I did the 3-ring binder slip cover face mask visors.