a match made in heaven
Porn Directors:
🎵
He was a boy, she was a girl
Can I make it any more obvious?
He stole a van, she stole a car
They wouldn’t get far
You got your grand theft auto in my grand theft larceny!
No! You got your grand theft larceny in my grand theft auto!
I’ve got a rule I always tell people. Never commit a misdemeanor when commiting a felony. (Doesn’t have to be a misdimeanor but the point is, if you’re driving a stolen car, don’t run a red light)
She looks too put together for this to be a mug shot.
Dress for the job you want, not the one you have. That’s why I always wear a spacesuit to the office.
She can fix me
Two households, both alike in dignity,
In fair Oregon, where we lay our scene…
But soft, what grill through yonder windshield breaks?
It is a car, and Juliet’s at the wheel.
Oregano in 60 seconds
Do they both flee the scene only to run headfirst into each other behind someone’s barn?
Unknown, because they both had so much stolen meth in their cars, when they collided, they both exploded into a fireball that wiped out everything within a half a mile radius
Truly kismet
I’m not sure that’s how meth works.
It’s complicated
That just means she’s still sleeping with a bunch of dudes after they broke up…but they still like the sex. So rather than admit that they’re purely using each other for their genitals, they instead try to convince you that it’s some bigger more complicated situation. It’s not. It’s sex. It’s not complicated. Genitals go boom. That’s what they should write on their profiles instead of “it’s complicated”. Instead just write “Genitals go boom”. And offer zero context. NOW it’s complicated! You’re welcome…
Yeesh… sorry you’re having a messy breakup, but that’s not at all what I was talking about 😬
wow
Man, I wouldn’t want to be the insurance agent on this one…
But they’re both in separate prisons and never got to meet each other due to injuries & separate ambulances & police intervention. There’s no romance here.
bar-crossed lovers
What if their ambulances crash into each other?
Not a comedy, but David Cronenberg has a erotic thriller called Crash which is about people who get involved in car crashes.
No I haven’t seen it.
I thought it much more interesting than the more famous “Crash” movie…
I remember when that came out. I never saw it either for some reason, even though I had rented almost everything else in that video shop.
throw in some christmasy story and youll have Hallmark callin hehe
So in this movie she’s a successful big city criminal but she’s getting disillusioned with that and wants to move back home to a picturesque podunk town to be a small town criminal, maybe burgle a cute little antique shop in the town square, enter our eligible bachelor, the handsome, charismatic and eligible town axe murderer?
He wears flannel shirts and, unbeknownst to him, is a prince. It turns out that he was the mysterious stranger who rescued her mom by pulling her out of the burning wreckage of a car accident. That’s important because her mom’s disproval is a major hangup until they find out that he was too humble to take credit for his heroism. Also, he didn’t want attention from law enforcement.
You’d make more money with a christmussy story
oh my, thats for Hallmark Afterdark 😝
Make sure it stars Kyle Gallner.
“Buckle up cause I drive real fucking fast!”
