I hope the next time someone pays in front of you, it’s for a single, inexpensive item. Also, it’s the slowest person you’ve ever seen and they start paying in cash, come up short, make up the difference in a hand-written, personal cheque. Then they remember they have a coupon. It’s expired. The cashier calls for a manager override. The customer writes another check for the new balance. Before handing it over, the customer remarks the price label looks incorrect. The cashier gets a price check, confirms the new correct price. Another manager override. Another check. The cashier takes up the cash and realizes one of the coins is of a foreign denomination. The manager is over it by now and tries to pay for the item, but the customer is too proud and insists on paying for it themself, remarking they’ve “never taken a handout in their life.” One of the less patient customers behind you jokingly asks if they’d like to round up for charity. Turns out they very much would and that’s about when the pen begins running out of ink, but they’re determined to make it work.

Invested in a flock of honey badgers. Festivals are a breeze now. Got a bit of a wrap sheet, though.

There was an elevator…and you used it?

No apology necessary. Some of the best parts of Scrubs were beating a dead horse, bits with Dr. Cox condescending to and terrorizing the interns, residents, fellows, etc.

Oh man, I miss my past life when my age wasn’t yet an octonian.

No, it was perfect. Thanks for keeping Scrubs alive in the wild!

Theyknew

This is why employers typically let someone go at the end of the day or immediately escort them outside. Props to the former employee that reminded Netflix that it’s not invulnerable.

I don’t actually know what happened. Just assuming.

Nah, that’d be weird.

Thanks for the recommendation!

Edit: you’re right. It’s much better when framed this way. Shame lemmy doesn’t have one yet, but I doubt its own two-sentence-horror activity wouldn’t be enough to sustain it.

2nd edit: There many posts there. I wonder why.

3rd edit: r/badtwosentencehorrors is pretty good:

Introducing the Knife Horse horse knife. It’s knives and horses all the way down.

I love the absurdity of it. Two Sentence Horror can get pretty cringey at times, although I love it when it’s done well.

Don’t step, don’t step to me.

I like coffee and water, don’t step to me.

Uh, damn it! I lost it. I lost it!

Dean: Guys, I need to apologize for my behavior today. When I switched bodies with Jeffrey–

Jeff: Nope.

Dean: --I thought I knew what it would be like to have Jeffrey inside me.

Jeff: That did not happen.

Dean: But as it turns out, having Jeffrey inside of me–

Jeff: Nope again.

Dean: --only brought out the worst in me. Which is to say, having Jeffrey inside of me–

Jeff: No one was inside of anyone.

Dean: --was wrong.To have Jeffrey inside of me.

Jeff: Shut up.

Dean: So I’m sorry. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I scolded Leonard today, and according to Greendale bylaws, I now have to grant him three wishes.

5619 Walnut Hill Ln, Dallas, Texas 75229 /haha lol jk jk