Smart move not to talk about ads during work. That way you can even add them to the premium subscription at any time.
“Hi, it’s me your favorite employee Greg. Ever wonder where I go during my second poop break and why the kitchen smells like fish!? Subscribe to Greg Plus to find out! 14,99 per month or save up 30 dollars when you subscribe for the year at 149,99. Use the code #fuckcapitalism to get an additional 10 percent off!”
This meme is pretty wildly accurate to my last pay negotiation. (Tried nicely for 1 year, ultimately had to quit for them to take me seriously, don’t recommend doing this if you aren’t ready and prepared financially.)
I had the 8 hour day package +1% bonus raise 9 hour 1.1% Until emails stop 2%
They opted for the cheapest. People are still confused months later why i stop responding at 3:01 PM.
I actually offer a free tier for eligiblecorporations: 37.5 hours a week, and no extras. Just sign my ToS.
I will extract and sell your data. All your data.
Was your ToS 30 pages long, strictly legalese, and filled with confusing and questionable addendums?
Of course
The middle option needs to be highlighted with a “most popular” text above it.
And premium having a discount for x months
Discount if you pay the year in advance, or higher monthly cost but can cancel when you want
Yeah no I’m not putting an SLA on my GI tract. It will break when it wants to
You joke, but you’re just describing contractors
Kinda, but usually you’re sorta expected to put in your best effort for every billed hour regardless.
Instead of laying things out like this, what you can do is bill more hours (within reason) per hour worked to customers who pay less per hour. Gotta be careful with that though.
I worked as a consultant for years and yeah, exactly this, and more! One thing knowledge-based consultants do is reuse old work but bill clients for a flat rate instead of hourly. It’s less than paying for new work, but usually much more than the hourly cost if they were billed for just the time required to update the material.
I recycled old work constantly. For a well-paying, reasonable client, I’d sometimes only bill for the time required to update the work and comp the rest as a gift. Last minute, minor updates were free within reason.
Penny pinching, uncooperative clients paid full price and I’d bill the rush rate to the minute for last minute updates. On average, great clients paid less for work than the ones trying to strangle a deal out of me.
That’s a very dangerous game, especially compared to just finding a higher paying single job.
usually you’re sorta expected to put in your best effort for every billed hour regardless
Naturally. But we don’t tell our clients that :)
That’s poop breaks per hour, mind you.
Thats hard work!
not if you’re goin’ that frequently.
These people look very tired.
*unlimited email plan will automatically reduce throughput to 1 email/hr when weekly count exceeds 500
“emails per week: unlimited”
Just forward every employees email to him, he’ll handle them all
He didn’t say anything about dealing with them, that’s an optional add-on.
So, what happens if you do this in an interview, or attach subscription plan offerings to your resume?
Asking for a friend.
You get laughed at and told to get out.
Now, if you’re an independent contractor you can start doing something like this but formatted a bit more official…
So, if more of us start doing it, they’d have to either laugh a lot of people off (at the interview stage, so already pretty deep in nowadays) or eat it and swallow it.
Hell yeah, unfortunately too many people will just accept it. Working class conciousness and solidarity is easier said than built.
Generally speaking, there is a little negotiation you can do around salary and benefits when/if you reach that point in an interview. That said, many companies will give you an offer and you can either take it or leave it. Showing up with a ‘package’ offering like this will get you laughed out of the room.
Oh if they get uppity I’ll be showing up with a ‘package’ alright.
I think what’s going on with the “torment matrix” problem is that the people who do the most heinous shit don’t usually have much imagination. When they see someone dreaming up a horrible scenario they see it as an unironic opportunity. Maybe they wouldn’t have thought of it otherwise.
More succinctly: don’t give them any ideas!
- 48k
- 96k
- 192k
For those wondering
I mean, full employment for $48k is an absolute steal in this economy. This isn’t even a bad deal for the employer.
Still necessary to quiet-quit at $48K and keep looking for openings in competing companies.
According to a How Money Works video (a while ago), tech companies stopped paying for training or promoting from within, so employees just started keeping their résumé current, and keeping an eye on openings. As a result, companies actually paid more to fill their middle-management positions than if they kept on promoting from within.
It is scary just how incompetent top-down companies are at maximizing their profits, especially considering how much data-driven research there is on human resources.
Are annual salaries a typical US thing? Rarely see this here in Europe.
Depends on the position. Most people are hourly, but the annual is still used as a shorthand. Salaried workers aren’t paid by the hour, but to get a job done.
You generally don’t want to be salaried, because while it sounds like you can come and go as you please, most salaried positions have mandatory office hours. So you still work at least 40 hours a week, but don’t get paid for overtime.
There are laws regarding who can be salaried. The technical term is being FLSA Exempt, and the employee has to make a certain amount of money ($684/week), and have a role that classifies. Examples include executive, managerial (need a certain number of reports to classify), administrative, and highly-compensated employees ($107,432/yr).
Working in the US, I was salaried and they absolutely fucked employees from both ends on the deal. We weren’t paid hourly yet were expected to work a minimum number of hours, then were expected to work more hours without compensation as needed, and it was needed often. Every salaried employee I have met without interest in securing a promotion put in the absolute minimum amount of time and effort possible.
They were going to at least raise the minimum salary for exempt employees by like double starting in 2025, but then 2025 happened…
Yes, the company I’m at all employees are on a yearly salary. It simplifies accounting because you don’t me d to tally timecards and have unique payroll each period.
Most desk jobs in the US are salaried. Salaries are quoted typically in annual terms, although payroll is processed typically fortnightly (meaning salary payments are transferred into your account every two weeks, usually on Thursday or Wednesday).
The US Bureau of Labour Statistics collects salary data across hundreds of job descriptions and reports this information regularly. Here are some median annual salaries (along with the monthly equivalent in euros) for various corporate jobs:
- Human Resources Specialists: $75,940 (€5,900 monthly)
- Buyers and Purchasing Agents: $77,710 (€6,040 monthly)
- Budget Analysts: $91,640 (€7,120 monthly)
- Market Research Analysts and Marketing Specialists: $78,760 (€6,120)
- Paralegals and Legal Assistants: $62,890 (€4,890)
- Lawyers: $159,670 (€12,410)
- Securities, Commodities, and Financial Service Sales Agents: $78,660 (€6,110)
- Real Estate Brokers: $73,220 (€5,690)
- Billing and Posting Clerks: $48,500 (€3,770)
- Secretaries and Administrative Assistants: $47,540 (€3,690)
- Computer Systems Analysts: $105,850 (€8,220)
- Network and Computer Systems Administrator: $99,130 (€7,700)
- Software Developers: $135,980 (€10,570)
I would add a couple caveats on your points about sick time and insurance. It’s become more common for states to pass laws requiring sick time, but their are still now federal job protections for long term illness, with FMLA if you’re out for a long term illness, but that only protects you from losing your job for 12 weeks without pay while you deal with illness (unless you’re carrying a short-/long-term disability insurance, or your company has a policy providing pay otherwise), and also has carve outs for businesses, and your job can also ignore it if the company has employed less than 50 people in the current or previous calendar years, or you’ve worked less than 1,250 hours in the current calendar year at that job.
Also, results will vary on how good that insurance is. At a salary of $48,000/year, you’re getting a plan with a $5,000 deductible and a $20,000 out-of-pocket max. For folks from civilized nations, this means that you need to pay $5,000 a year in medical expenses before your benefits even kick in, and then an additional $15,000 need to be forked out before the insurance actually takes over and covers further care at 100%, provided it’s deemed medically necessary and approved. Note also, you’ll have a separate, higher deductible for out-of-network doctors, and you could still well be on your own after hitting your annual out of pocket max if they decide your doctor is wrong that you need a treatment, the only doctor/practice providing the service you need near you is out of network, or for any number of other reasons. And this is all on top of paying your premiums towards the plan from every paycheck.
being sick is expensive, you shouldn’t do it
Thanks for this info. I would say a 50+ km commute is fairly common in rural areas.
Most office workers have decent to excellent healthcare coverage provided by the employer
lol – they have shitty healthcare coverage provided by the employer, and it’s only “decent to excellent” compared to what most other Americans get, which varies between “absolutely terrible” and “just avoid going to the doctor at all”.
I learned that when they extend an offer, I ask for the health plan booklet. That can be a MAJOR cut people don’t think about.
Most office workers have decent to excellent healthcare coverage provided by the employer, and typically the employer pays for the majority of the cost. This ends up costing a few hundred dollars a month to the worker out of pocket for their family, typically.
Compared to what? Because I still have to pay to see the doctor. And for supplies. And a whole bunch of other stuff that isn’t covered.
And a few hundred a month? Yeah, good luck with that d-tier insurance.
Compared to not having insurance, where you have to pay for everything.
Stale bread is better than no bread at all
Tell me you’ve never eaten stale bread without me you’ve never eaten stale bread.
Tell me you’ve never been really hungry without me you’ve never been really hungry
Definitely the most common. Though it is more for showing off how big of a number the salary is. Like the fabled “six figure salary” (100,000+) is a big goal post in many people’s mind. If it’s not salary, we tend to use hourly wage. Though that’s more often for lower amounts
Unless you’re in a high demand, low worker base trade like linemen, pipefitters, riggers, ect, and have a good union contract with lots of availability for OT. I have friends building warships in Bath for like $45/hr with 50hrs guaranteed a week, but the extra 10 are optional, so there usually more like 60 available because shlubs are cool to go home at 40, which I don’t disrespect, but man leaving that time and a half on the table is wild. If the general workplace social environment weren’t SO TOXIC I’d be working there too, but I have thin skin and really don’t like shop love until I feel part of the InGroup, which is the very toxicity I dislike. Oh the trades.
Sometimes it’s not just about money, it’s about a healthy work/life balance. I’m a union electrician and we make 68/hr in the check after benefits are paid. Our overtime is double time after 8 hours or on a weekend. The last job I did was 12 hour days 5 days a week plus 8 on Saturday and Sunday.
I turn down basically all overtime because I have a 1yo and a 3yo at home that I would rather spend my time with. I don’t need the overtime to pay my bills so I’d rather be present in their lives and not be the dad that missed their kids grow up because they were constantly chasing more money.
In 10 years nobody’s gonna remember all the extra hours and shifts you put in at your job. Your boss won’t care, nobody will. But your kids will remember.
Idk IT in Ireland calc in those, gross salary/year. Cause you can have different taxes depending on your marriage status.
For UK and Europe it depends on the industry. I’ve always had salaried work with software development
I’m in software development, it’s always been expressed in euro/month for me. Sometimes you see yearly pop up, but then it tends to be an American company.
Are you also paid monthly or what’s the usual pay period?
am wondering what this means!?!
Yearly salaries for the listed monthly price
the annual salaries
400 emails per week is CRAZY
I usually receive around 250-400 emails per day. Most of those are from automated systems, tho some of the automated emails still need to be checked out just in case.
“Only” around 100 of the emails I receive in a day are from humans. That still makes it 500 human emails per week.
Needless to say, I don’t answer every one of them (they’re sent to a shared inbox, and other people can answer them too), but I read most of them.
Not with Gen ai it’s not!!!
And only 3 poop breaks? Is that per day or per month? As it’s stated, it appears to be for the duration of the contract…
Per hour.
I need at least ten minutes per poop… If I get three poop breaks per hour then I’m spending more time pooping than literally anything else…
Well, that’s what you get when you sign up for the budget plan. Take it or leave it.
Meanwhile, on the premium, previously-poop-break-free plan:
“I’m altering the agreement to now include poop breaks. Pray I don’t alter it any further.”
80/day
😱 what? What kinda cheese you grating bro?
A far greater amount than you could possibly imagine, holy shit that username gets better the more you sit with it
I know, crazy low number.
Are you being facetious or do you actually have to interact with greater then 80 emails a day?
those spammails don’t write themselves brother.
I will read that many, sure, but a lot of them are reports with a line or two.
I send 10 to 20 a day from those 400.
I send like two emails per day and it’s exhausting.
I can imagine someone who works in sales, marketing, support, or an executive assistant can be using email that much.
Some jobs really are email operator in a trenchcoat
Pretty sure they were being sarcastic
I definitely have coworkers that field that number of emails a week.
I don’t, fuck that, but yeah our support team does for sure.
Ah if you are in support then I can see getting ticket updates on email which could be a lot. But for someone in a project team, it would be a lot smaller I imagine. I do get a lot of useless emails from the company like shitty seminars, company news etc that I don’t give a fuck about which could be like 15 or 20 a day but I don’t read any of them so wouldn’t count that.
not if its an inbox limit
I can’t find the artist looking on my phone, if someone knows, please share.
It’s from @mildnihilist on Instagram/X/Reddit back in like 2022-23? – someone cropped out the artist’s name (why are people like this)
Thank you! I’ll edit it with your version.
mildnihilist
Thank you!
