Any time I go with my wife I go with the expectation that she’ll absolutely destroy my score. But she was on her college bowling team. Same with golf.
The best way to bowl is to put the rails up so no one can gutter ball, then play for lowest score. It’s impossible to take serious, no one can be good or bad at it, a 7/10 split still sucks, and the people in the next lane will be very confused.
Fun all around.
I’m going to try this.
I was the guy that owned his own bowling balls (yes, plural) and shoes. In my twenties. Mostly because it was near impossible to find a ball that had the right weight and hole size.
But I have a story: I went to an Evangelical university in the early 2000s. Start of sophomore year they held a bowling tournament at the local alley. So me and two friends signed up. But we first went to the thrift store and bought cheap polyester suits and enormous aviator sunglasses, aiming for something out of the “Sabotage” music video. Our other friend decided to dress up like he was our “muscle” by wearing an outfit like you’d see in the background of the “Beat It” music video. We walked into the alley (which had not been updated since probably 1981, other than the scoring screens) and decided to take on personas like we owned the place, talking trash and generally acting like we existed in a different plane from everyone else. I kept an unlit cigarette in my mouth the whole time. I was the first of our team to bowl and, quite magically, I got a strike right out the gate.
All these church youth-group types were our competition. They had no idea how to deal with us. We won our match and then went to the bar, ordering Miller High Life and pretending we were regulars. Then the guy who held the event came up to us. Apparently drinking alcohol at a university sponsored event is a VERY serious no-no. Even though the official stance was that students of legal age were allowed to drink (at extremely moderate levels), alcohol was not allowed on campus nor, apparently, at events. Oops. Perhaps because we were having a good time they let it slide (I was also an RA at the time, which probably helped). Either way, we finished 3rd.
genuinely nothing worse than going bowling
with people who are actually good. like why are you doing all thati think it’s genuinely worse when people are good at karaoke
You know what’s funny? I’m an excellent singer. Years of formal training, sang professionally for years. But take me to a karaoke bar and I will be the suckiest sucky fuck there. Why? Because on a professional stage it’s a different vibe. Very focused, very intense, and if you try to do that in a karaoke bar you look like a fucking tool, so instead I try to be casual, not use my “pro” technique, and I end up sounding like shit.
I also have this problem
Yeah you have to like unlearn so much to not look like a tryhard
That’s why they always use really shitty microphones— to level the playing field
Why? Singing and making music is a worthwhile goal that you generally achieve by some other means than doing a lot of karaoke. But to get good at bowling you have to specifically have practiced bowling.
Singing is not karaoke. Karaoke is bad singing with enthusiasm.
I dunno what “good at karaoke” means other than singing well.
Don’t get me wrong, I also find it annoying when a group goes to karaoke and there’s the one theatre kid who can actually sing and just embarrasses everyone else, but I’d still say they’re good
Baseball?
Edit: *Gasp. Downvote!?! Very well:
Top 5 oldest and heaviest MLB players active in the 2026 season, including their age, height, and weight:
Rich Hill Age: 45 Height: 6’5" (196 cm) Weight: ~210 lbs (95 kg) Justin Verlander Age: 43 Height: 6’5" (196 cm) Weight: ~225 lbs (102 kg) Max Scherzer Age: 41 Height: 6’3" (191 cm) Weight: ~220 lbs (100 kg) Chris Martin Age: 38 Height: 6’4" (193 cm) Weight: ~240 lbs (109 kg) Carlos Santana Age: 39 Height: 6’1" (185 cm) Weight: ~235 lbs (107 kg).
Behold, an old fat fuck! (Chris Martin)
Carlos Santana plays baseball???
Is there nothing that man can’t do???
Not sure where you’re getting this info from, because it’s horribly wrong.
Per Baseball Reference, corroborated by Savant:
- Rich Hill is not an active MLB player
- Verlander weighs 240
- Scherzer weighs 208
- Martin is 39yo, 6’8”
- Santana is 40yo, 5’10” 210lb
Leaving aside that you’re calling 43yo/6’5”/240lb “old and fat”—that’s below average BMI even before accounting for BMI not accurately representing the fatness of elite athletes
And yet somehow the part where there are active MLB players who share names with Cold Play’s lead singer and Carlos Santana is not wrong.
In true shitpost fashion, I make shit up as I go. I was too lazy to do any real research. I’m too lazy to verify your shitpost isn’t doing the same thing. Either way, ponder this:
Pitchers stand there for a lot of the game and need to be tall to throw so it makes sense that most of your list are pitchers past their prime.
These people are normal weight
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Walter_Young_(baseball)
6’5" and 322 lbs =
Also for age: Fifty-fucking-nine!
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_oldest_Major_League_Baseball_players
BMI measures how statistically healthy one is if they were an American from the late 1800s. It doesn’t work well with tall people because they didn’t exist back then.
That’s what all the fatties say. I’m JuSt BiG BoNed! Source: Am fatty.
I might be guilty of this. Used to go every week with a friend and eventually started figuring out my stride. Now I’m the one that does better than a casual player and it’s weird.
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Poll: Anyone ever have hipsters in their highschool go through a bowling shoe phase?
Upvote = yes Downvote = no
Edit: By early poling numbers, I can’t tell if it was only a thing in my highschool, or if people who wear bowling shoes casually, yet ironically, just haven’t come to terms with the fact that they are indeed hipsters.
When everyone went to high school will matter a lot, too.
