Captain Murphy, sir, permission to come aboard.

I thought Ariana Grande was from a secret Starbucks menu

The funniest fucking thing is that no matter how much of a dictator he acts, Lukashenko never makes top 5. It must kill him.

Pepsi Jenner

A lot like chefs have a variety of knives or musicians have lots of instruments, each piece of gear is rated for a specific use. Level 4 plate is resistant to larger rifles while smaller armor ratings are for knives and pistols.

And no matter where you live, shit is fucked right now. Either Trump or Putin is going to nuke something and the only civilized countries seem to be between them. Good luck in your civilized country while you have it!

Don’t forget to hate Altoona too.

The prices are right there dude. 2.11 9/10 for regular, 2.21 for super, and 2.31 for premium.

The Budweiser being 8.99 for a 12 pack also means this is rather recent (as noted by the clothing that person is wearing) and those prices are just for show so they can be anything they want. They could have had 0.21 but opted to have 3 main digits.

But why an ogre?

All you can eat buffets would like a word

Those are a couple of good… points.

God damn Mardi Gras has a good shade of purple.

Gotta maintain our space against the insistent capital machine somehow.

He changed his name so it’d be “Macaulay Macaulay Culkin Culkin caulkin’”

45 years of neoliberal nosediving. Kills all emotion, passion, and personality in pursuit of money.

Shishito got its name from the sounds we make

Capitalism promotes stupidity.

They expect you to have the baby in a manger full of farm animals on a pile of hay, like Jesus’s mom.

maklmor got that comup

Aw! They make gifts for each other from each other. The most intimate kind of giving.

Well psuedo-science says it can with 10th dimensional string vibrations causing harmonic variations which would create gaps in the fabric of space/time and allow wormholes from unknown where and when to open in a toy factory of the wrapping paper people. Santa is an elaborate lie for your mom’s indiscretions.