Mickey7@lemmy.world to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 1 month agoWhen you work for a company owned by a A..holelemmy.worldimagemessage-square110fedilinkarrow-up1662arrow-down18
arrow-up1654arrow-down1imageWhen you work for a company owned by a A..holelemmy.worldMickey7@lemmy.world to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 1 month agomessage-square110fedilink
minus-squareJasonDJ@lemmy.ziplinkfedilinkarrow-up159·edit-21 month ago Have vendor take you out to lunch. Walk into bosses office and regurgitate the lunch onto their desk. Profit? Make sure the vendor buys you a nice boozy drink. Some top shelf whiskey or something. Bosses love top shelf whiskey. And make sure you get something that looks absolutely repulsive after you vomit it back up. I’d recommend a Greek Salad, extra feta.
minus-squareChicoSuave@lemmy.worldlinkfedilinkarrow-up33·edit-21 month agoTake long enough and you can just shit on the boss’s desk, slap down the paper, and ask for a “thank you” for bringing back some lunch.
minus-square_stranger_@lemmy.worldlinkfedilinkarrow-up12·1 month agoTake a picture of the shit and add it to the expense report. Make sure you notate that you did not keep the gift and instead rescinded ownership to your boss.
minus-squareWiddershins@lemmy.worldlinkfedilinkarrow-up3·1 month agoTake a picture? How are they going to smell or taste it? Either shit at work and don’t flush or shit on the floor at work if you want to flush.
minus-squareJasonDJ@lemmy.ziplinkfedilinkarrow-up4·1 month agoFor good measure, you should skip breakfast and make sure you have a big lunch. No reason to give your boss any of your breakfast tho. That’s on your time.
minus-squareAceticon@lemmy.dbzer0.comlinkfedilinkEnglisharrow-up4·edit-21 month agoLet’s be fair: by that stage you should probably also draw some blood and leave it there. Wouldn’t want to unwittingly be keeping from the boss the nutrients from that free meal.
Have vendor take you out to lunch.
Walk into bosses office and regurgitate the lunch onto their desk.
Profit?
Make sure the vendor buys you a nice boozy drink. Some top shelf whiskey or something. Bosses love top shelf whiskey.
And make sure you get something that looks absolutely repulsive after you vomit it back up. I’d recommend a Greek Salad, extra feta.
Take long enough and you can just shit on the boss’s desk, slap down the paper, and ask for a “thank you” for bringing back some lunch.
Take a picture of the shit and add it to the expense report. Make sure you notate that you did not keep the gift and instead rescinded ownership to your boss.
Take a picture? How are they going to smell or taste it? Either shit at work and don’t flush or shit on the floor at work if you want to flush.
For good measure, you should skip breakfast and make sure you have a big lunch.
No reason to give your boss any of your breakfast tho. That’s on your time.
Let’s be fair: by that stage you should probably also draw some blood and leave it there.
Wouldn’t want to unwittingly be keeping from the boss the nutrients from that free meal.