Who was the first man who was like “I wanna put my dick in the place for tearing meat”???
Adam
Not so far from the actual first man, I presume
Easily an ancestor to the first man, I’d guess
Could still be a human, just not a homo sapiens sapiens, but maybe a homo sapiens or homo Neanderthalis, maybe as far back as homo erectus, if it is in the branch of great apes that makes up humans that invented felacio.
Someone actually gets it. Like every other sexual act it is an act of trust.
I also see hoomans as collections of their individual pieces and am disgusted by their carbon-based appendages. One tried “speaking” to me by contracting disgusting throat muscles while exhaling air and flapping their boney-ingestion bear trap hole in strange ways. I saw small clouds of bacteria, viruses, and spit fly out of this hole. It was all very terrifying but I was horny. Worked out fine. Flesh bag’s aren’t so bad.
And chock full of germs that will give you an infection in probably the worst spot of the entire body.
Uh… it’s definitely not guaranteed that a penis will cause an infection. If this is a regular occurrence for you, talking to a doctor would be a good idea.
In fact, there was some research a while back that suggested that having oral sex first reduced the risk of yeast infections from penetrative sex at a later date.
The theory was that the woman’s body would be exposed to the foreign microbes in a smaller dose which helps train the immune system to deal with it.
Perhaps the danger is what makes it hot.
muscles
?? What kind of prehensile pps are y’all having??
Are dicks supposed to have 6-packs?
Or is there a secret fellatio technique that includes pelvis-deep sucking?boneless
So not a werewolf.
highly sensitive
So not a true manwhore.
flesh
So not AI.
What kind of prehensile pps are y’all having??
Just the normal kind.
Are dicks supposed to have 6-packs?
You need to put in the work to get the best result.
Or is there a secret fellatio technique that includes pelvis-deep sucking?
You really have been missing out…
Only the normal amount of prehensile, huh?
I’ll work on that.put in the work
OK, fine, bowling, curling, stone throwing, dwarf-tossing (prehensively), I’ll do all of it!!
(… starting tomorrow tho)
?? What kind of prehensile pps are y’all having??
So your penis doesn’t point up when hard?
highly sensitive So not a true manwhore.
So being punched in the dick doesn’t hurt more than being hit in the arm? Then again most men have their foreskin removed as a child so maybe that is why it yours is not sensitive like it should be.
Hey, getting hit in the arm hurts!!
But no, I can’t really grip an object, only smash it.
most men
Idk
I’m in America, so I went off of numbers that I know of here, my bad. Being uncut in a county where most are it is hard to talk to a doc when most are cut.
A hoodie on a muscular figure is a fierce look!!
6 pack PPs is a cool band name.
yoink
yank
Their new hit single
Such a good title that you jacked it
Beat it like it owed me money
Only himbos have sensitive dicks?
God forbid they had a seizure mid act. Bye bye dingaling.
My boyfriend once got lock jaw while giving head to his ex. He got it out, but it was tight and it scratch up his dick pretty good from what I understand. Bf had to go to urgent care because his jaw was stuck mid blowjob for over an hour. They told the doc he had been eating a sandwich when it happened.
The funny part, though, is that they were hosting family for a weekend, and had snuck off for a mid day quickie when it happened lmao
Jeez, how long have you been spending on thesaurus.com?
According to one ep I listened to from Last Podcast on the Left, hard PPs are difficult to cut off.
if you grew up with the internet you really don’t need to guess
and the answer is not really difficult but more so than you’d think
Difficult to cut off, maybe, but not so difficult to crush.
Welcahme too ze hydraulic press chaneel
Will it blend!?
feels good man
This is one reason I never understood tea bagging
Idk, man, depends on the bags, but I love getting the flesh purse dangled into my enamal-bladed bear trap sometimes
Looks like someone doesn’t understand “The Gummy”. It’s why abusive husbands punch out teeth and why you can never really age out of prostitution. While your prime earning years may be behind you, you can alway put a roof over your head and food on the table with good gummy. Make sure you get a good denturist.
Edit: Tough crowd. Dark humour isn’t easy.
Edit 2: Update with technical reference.
Edit 3: References. I swear I once saw a daytime talkshow like Phil Donahue, Geraldo Rivera or Maury Povich that was along the lines of “My teenaged daughter had her teeth removed on purpose to better please her new husband and I helped her do it.” I just can find the reference.
Edit 4: Now illustrated.
Hey. That is NOT why abusive husbands punch their wives teeth out. Let’s get that clear. They just do that because they hate them, not because of some long winded scheme for sexual pleasure.
I don’t think anyone has ever set out to remove their spouse’s teeth one by one via punches over the course of multiple years, and if they have then they probably killed them or scared them away before they got to the end goal
Hey. This is a shitpost. That was a dark humour joke. Don’t look at me like I’m the weirdo here. Context matters Monsieur or Madamme LeBuzzkill.
Edit: For the record, I upvoted your comment because in true shitpost fashion, the fight after a shitpost is half the fun, and speaks to the very heart of shitposting. You played your role well. Touché pussycat.
Yeah theres a time and a place. And surely that place is here.
Everything posted and commented in this community can and should be taken completely seriously as it is backed by sincere beliefs.
I just updated my post with a link to the appropriate source.
Should have just prompted chat gpt and posted the uncropt screenshot.
Forgive me. I am old and not up to date on the latest Shitpost writing style guide. I was only trained in AMA, APA and the Geological Society’s Style Guide.
Hey now, someone doesn’t need to be an abusive piece of shit to get a gummy. They could just really be into grandma.
Or a middle aged smoker.
Grandma, grandpa anyone really. They say “the fun isn’t in the face”. While true, with a good gummy, the fun really is IN the face.
Jesus fucking Christ what did I just read
Have I opened a doorway to new levels of consciousness? For better or for worse, maybe.
