This is how those onlyfans promo account posts read. “Would you (obese gamer virgin) fuck me (fit nude model) however you want if I begged you for it enough???”
And then the comments like “yes baby I’d love to 😋😍😉”
I fucking hate this whole dynamic.
“If you could do anything with me in a hotel room, what would you do?”
Scrabble
Nice. I love board games.
I just honestly don’t think I could. They say money can’t buy happiness and it sure as hell can’t buy a properly self installed and adjusted door hinge.
Are you stupid?! I make 1 billion an hour repairing door hinges! What kind of fool takes this kind of “deal”
Scam! Release the door hinge files!
Are you stupid?!
You could say they’re… unhinged 😎
Yes. I can spend those two hours watching door hinge repair videos on YouTube, I was going to do that anyway.
Spend 2 hours watching door hinge repair videos followed by buying a new house since you have 500m.
A new house! Just think of all the new doors with hinges that need adjusting.
Sure you were. And then you were finally going to get around to fixing them, right!? Just take your precious money.
All jokes aside your youtube recommendations for the next 3.4 years will include door hinges.
I would buy a tent and a pickup truck. Then I’ll set up a tent in the back of the pickup truck. And I’m going to have a house on wheels without door hinges because tents don’t have door hinges. Crazy enough?
truck doors have hinges. I have been known to fix those.
I would simply use $250 million to buy replacement door hinges for the ones I can’t fix during that time. Easy peasy.
WTF is this on about?
You can pretend, you can lie to yourself and us - your friends - but your door hinge repair addiction is becoming a problem.
So we’ve pooled some of our resources together to try to help you…
What rhymes with orange?
No it doesn’t.
Doorhinge
“Sporange” does. If you’re especially bad at pronouncing words, many other things also rhyme with orange, like flange, range, and monkey.
Porridge, horseridge, the entire first act of Hamlet, LaBron James’ telephone number in Spanish,
Drake and Josh reference, nice.
As long as I can break door hinges for those 2 hours, I’m good.
Plot twist, you’re teleported in a room that will be set on fire if a switch isn’t pressed within 2 hours and broken door hinge blocks you from pressing it
Every broken doorhinge can be bypassed in two ways. Fix it. Or break it more.
Perhaps you could look for an alternate solution?
On a serious note, if you have a striped screw hole on a door hinge, put some tooth picks in the hole, snap off the bit that sticks out, and put the screw back in. I’ve fixed so many doors this way.
Does it matter what direction the stripes run on the screw? :)
To add to this, a stripped screw into concrete or brick can be fixed with the same method but using a small piece of copper wire the length of the screw.
Unfortunately I don’t know enough about screws to tell if this is a joke
I’m making a dumb joke about your spelling haha. Striped is like a zebra, as in having stripes. Stripped is what happens when a screw is stripped.
Ohhh I see. I had a feeling I was wrong about that spelling, hah. I shouldn’t have put my faith in autocorrect
Stripping screws sucks. Screwing strippers is pretty cool.
You don’t need wood glue? Just the toothpicks?
I’ve gotten many loose screws tight with just toothpicks, no glue.
Wood glue and toothpicks, without the glue the toothpicks would get pulled out.
Wood glue won’t hurt (though you do have to wait for it to dry), but friction alone is often enough to do a decent job.
You are better with some plastic, but any flexible material will do. Glue will only make you life harder.
define “fix”
Like with all the exes!
“Name 10 things that aren’t Jackie Chan!”
A piece of paper with number “1” written on it.
A piece of paper with number “2” written on it.
A piece of paper with number “3” written on it.
A piece of paper with number “4” written on it.
A piece of paper with number “5” written on it.
A piece of paper with number “6” written on it.
A piece of paper with number “7” written on it.
A piece of paper with “Jackie Chan” written on it.
…
Damn it, I was so closeUuuuhhh… Laptop, horse, Jackie Chan — Damn!
Jacklyn Chan, Jackie Chan-Darn!
Blackie chan, Mackey chan, chimi changa, four chan, channel three, the English Channel, black and chan, dr. Chan, Jackie chan FUCK
Football. Lamp. Pizza. Floor. Tree. Car. Jackie Chan. Billboard. Hot air balloon. Hydroelectric dam.
ah fuck
And how do I explain my income to federal agencies?
Pretty sure there’s no IRS anymore. Just give Trump some gold-plated turd and you get a no taxes season pass.
Ah yes, everyone on the internet is American
Give Trump some gold-plated turd, and you get to become American and not pay any taxes
I conveniently own a laundromat and several other cash only businesses.
As long as you pay taxes on it, IRS ain’t snitching.
I am a door to door salesman.
Good for you.
I like turtles
I like trains.
I like you
It fell off a truck.
You all are misinterpetting this. If in the rest of your life you spend 2 hours or more fixing door hinges the 500 million is revoked and if you’re in the negative now they take your organs to make up for the deficit.
If I had half a billion dollars I can promise you I would be spending zero seconds of the rest of my life screwing in door hinges.
I can imagine the genie thinking “Bwahaha I tricked you!” and then getting increasingly frustrated that I never fix a door hinge again even though I didn’t notice the trick wording.
Right? It’s like… let’s see. I have half a billion dollars. I just noticed my door hinge isn’t working correctly. Do I
A. Attempt to fix it, requiring maybe a trip to the hardware store, but at the minimum some time and effort
B. Ask my assistant to call someone and go back to playing video gamesI know what I’d do.
If I had that money I could finally pursue my passion of fixing door hinges.
