Showers are for oranges or IPAs.
Cucumbers are better for…uhh…vitamin D? idk
IDK, this carrot looks rich in vitamin D
I don’t understand why people leave their sex toys in the shower. One time when I was a teenager I was masturbating in the shower and accidentally got cum on my sister’s dildo. I had to scrub that thing with all the soaps, bleach, toilet cleaner and just everything soap related I could get without anyone finding out. I guess I got lucky because no one ever found out and she didn’t mysteriously get pregnant afterwards.
ಠ︵ಠ
“accidentally”
Well, it probably smelled better than it was, so quite lucky.
Fuck what a terrible day to have eyes.
I curse the day I learned to read.
e_e
Get another carrot and when they come home just start chompping down on it nonchalantly. Total power move to establish your dominance.
There’s a myth that carrots are good for your eyesight, but what’s interesting is that carrots are actually really good for your memory. I lost one up my ass when I was 12 and never forgot that moment.
I think in the future, you should use the version with “my uncle stuck one up my ass when I was 12 and never forgot about it.”
It’s a better punchline imo.
What about being sexually abused by an older family member makes it a better punchline?
Black humor is an important coping mechanism
Not everyone has to cope, especially with such subjects, which makes it a worse punch line.
Some people cope with the horribleness of reality by trying to laugh. I can’t say it’s a good or a bad way to cope.
But remember folks, gallows humor is only funny when you’re one of the ones on the gallows. If no one stuck a carrot up your ass, it’s not your place to make the joke.
So we’re gatekeeping humor now?
Yep. Does that make you angry? We’re gatekeeping that too. Get over it.
I have had a carrot up my ass but it was overall a powitive experience.
Oh no, you forgot you carrot in there
That doesn’t answer anyone’s question.
Bugs Bunny
There are no bites in that carrot. I’d avoid touching it
Could have just been washing it for later consumption. Best to see if it’s still warm.
Smell it … if you dare.
IDK man… in my experience vegan balloon-knot and carrots 🥕 🐖🦩🎟️🤙
I’m just guessing on the vegan part obviously…
College is tough, sometimes you just forget your carrot in the shower. —Sigmund Fraud
Why stop there?
That aquaglide tells me someone was trying to get their 5 (inches) a day. Stay healthy bitches!!
I’d eat it. I don’t mind leftovers and I hate waste.
it might be that it wasn’t used for eating
This is remarkably common among visitors to A&E.
Have you seen the price of dildos? I can’t blame people for getting creative with household objects!
Accident and emergency people?
I think it is accident and emergency wards
Now the sentence makes more sense …
It might go well in a fresh salad or stew.
No one does, judging by the look of that one. 🤫
Give it a nibble. You might like it.
I don’t think that’s for eating
Never heard of a Shower Orange? Just a veggie version of that I imagine… I’m sure…
