I had two hamsters. Bonnie and Clyde. Bonnie ate Clyde. Chewed through her cage, crossed a bedroom, chewed into Clyde’s cage, and ate him side first. Ate through her final cage, his ribcage.
You are not a ne’er-do-well with a hamster sidekick. You are a poor, manipulated human under the spell of an evil hamster.
Did you not feed them??
Sometimes hamsters will just do that.
Keep rodents for long enough and you’ll witness cannibalism.
We fed em, Bonnie was just evil. Clyde showed up one day on my mom’s porch, during a period in which I had been kidnapped (familial kidnapping) and brought a lot of comfort to my brother and mom during that time. The guy at the pet store (this was 90s, pre Internet for us) told them he needed a companion, and to keep them in separate cages and only let them interact supervised, so that’s what they did. They got Bonnie and set everything up, but Bonnie despised Clyde and everything about his good, sweet, and pure little hamster soul. Shortly after I got back, Bonnie committed her ultimate crime.
Wow that pet store salesman was an asshole. I’m sorry that happened to poor Clyde :( he didn’t deserve it.
Yeah, Clyde deserved better.
I wasn’t there for the per store interaction, but I assume it was a kid working retail following directions off a tag on a cage. That’s been most of my experience with pet stores prior to decent information becoming widespread on the Internet
In that case, the pet store manager/owner was the asshole for not giving the employees better information about basic pet care.
God, the hamster subreddits are like the only thing I miss from reddit at this point
Finally we know what animal the villans of the world reincarnate to
Not if it’s a miniature giant space hamster.
Boo would never get involved in nefarious deeds.
That’s his prerogative. Luckily there’s plenty of his species, one of them will be game. Try offering your enemy’s eyes.
Amazing
I think he could find more information about hamsters on xhamster.com.
oh me folly! many penises!!
But more disappointingly, no hamsters.
I’m personally relieved that there aren’t any hamsters there.
Title of your sex tape
Minsc?
GO FOR THE EYES, BOO!!
Yep.
Keep an eye on the hamster to see if they enjoy scheming. If they look nervous or regretful I’d say let them sit it out. However if they seem gleeful or you see them rubbing their little hands together then they’re probably good to continue scheming.
I once watched a hamster die by aspiration, and another just kinda keeled over from the excitement at watching one of its housemates die. I don’t think hamsters are built for that life.
Ya, everyone knows that guinea pigs are the ones for shady shit.
REEEEEEE REEEE REEREEEEE
Lemmiwinks
Who’s to say that it is in fact this hamster who is controlling this human in these nefarious schemes.
You mean like Ratatouille, but better?
It is actually cruel to place a hamster in any situation that will result in harm or loss of the hamster, such as down a shirt or in a purse.
Hamsters can be very fragile.
Aww you beat me to it
This reminds me of one of the OG memes.
“In retrospect, lighting the match was my big mistake. But I was only trying to retrieve the gerbil,” Tomaszewski told bemused doctors in the Severe Burns Unit of Salt Lake City Hospital.
Tomaszewski, and his homosexual partner Andrew “Kiki” Farnum, had been admitted for emergency treatment after a felching session had gone seriously wrong. “I pushed a cardboard tube up his rectum and slipped Raggot, our gerbil, in,” he explained. “As usual, Kiki shouted out ‘Armageddon,’ my cue that he’d had enough. I tried to retrieve Raggot but he wouldn’t come out again, so I peered into the tube and struck a match, thinking the light might attract him.”
At a hushed press conference, a hospital spokesman described what happened next. “The match ignited a pocket of intestinal gas and a flame shot out the tube, igniting Mr. Tomaszewski’s hair and severely burning his face. It also set fire to the gerbil’s fur and whiskers which in turn ignited a larger pocket of gas further up the intestine, propelling the rodent out like a cannonball.”
Tomaszewski suffered second degree burns and a broken nose from the impact of the gerbil, while Farnum suffered first and second degree burns to his anus and lower intestinal tract
Oh, the poor gerbil!
It was for the best. Neither man nor beast should ever see the things poor Raggot saw…
Ew, animals don’t belong in rectums, neither do matches but that’s up to them
What happened to rhe gerbil?
Is this the Dado origin story?
Next thing you know, they’ll try to make a show about hamsters trying to take over the world.
