The comic for the women’s bathroom is two girls in stalls waiting for the other one to leave so she can shit.
This reminds me of one night where a group of friends went out drinking. Just before we were going to leave the pub to go to one further down the road one friend said he needed to take a piss. It triggered something in a bunch of us as most of us realised we needed to go.
The toilets were really busy; that situation where you’re pissing in what is basically a trough with your elbows touching the elbows of other guys next to you. Immediately on trying to go it just wasn’t happening. I stood awkwardly for about a minute, zipped up, washed my hands and went outside.
Everyone gathered round and we started walking. We were walking in silence for about a minute when one guy said “Did anyone else manage to actually pee?” To which loads of us burst out laughing. Turns out we all did the same thing, even though we needed to pee, we all failed to do so.
That’s a real group of bros
More like a group of betas!
I solved my issues with urinals by simply removing my ability to use a urinal.
Anaconda (2025)
Ok, since the solution to this problem hasn’t been provided in this thread, here it is:
Start calculating the fibonacci sequence in your head once you can start to pee: 1, 1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 13, 21, etc…
The reason why this works is because the calculations use the exact same part of the brain that also causes pee anxiety. Just gove it a try, it works incredibly well. Usually I have a solid flow before I get to 34 and I’ve been using this technique for years so I go through the sequence quite quickly.
I feel this, also if I just can’t squeeze anything out there is this additional awkward thought process.
When do I put it away? Will they know I didn’t pee? Should I shake it to pretend I peed? Oh God there is a child next to me. Now everyone will think I am pretending to pee to see this child’s weiner. I can’t step away now. I’ll just have to wait until the room is empty.
the bathroom never empties out, I die there.
that guy looks like the dad from cloudy with a chance of meatballs lol
This is definitely why I sit to pee and it has absolutely nothing to do with being an egg at all.
I used to have this problem, but I somehow got over it by imagining to piss in the face of the queen of England. Something about unloading in her face while she’s sitting there all prissy like makes me laugh which relaxes my muscles enough to piss.
This is how I’m going to potty train my children. I’m sure it will work out fine.
Thank you very much for sharing
I don’t think this will help me, but thanks for the laugh
So thankful the internet still says infinitely more hilarious and baffling things on a daily basis than AI could ever manage.
Are you Irish, by any chance?
Nope I’m Dutch .
Also y’all think I’m joking but I’m dead serious
But what do you do now that there’s no queen?
Obviously the answer is to imagine Margaret Thatcher
Jesus, they want to relax not to crack the porcelain.
Or…Musk, trump, clammy sam Altman and Wario amadim, Stephen Miller, Pete hegseth, 5/7 supreme Court justices, the Palantir creep, Jenson, jensons fucking jacket, that lying fucking cunt at the white House that always wears a stupid little fucking cross, all the other lying fucking cunts at the white House… Howard fucking lutnik, bibi, Putin,
…this is a fun list! Who else did I miss?
Jk Rowling, Andrew taint, the Kardashians, the Logan brothers and Mr Beast…
Who else?
Clive Palmer and Rupert Murdoch
In the end she’ll be sitting there all pissy.
I tried this, but got a boner instead
The Queen and peeing reminds me of this
You think someone will follow a youtube link in the context of peeing on the queen’s face?
Who wouldn’t?
Absolute cinema
One of those comments that comes like a slap in the face with a hand full of cold water, in the morning
Pro tip: If you have a shy bladder, you can just go into a stall to pee.
I already do that. Urinals dont’t have tp for pp.
You mean you don’t vigorously shake piss droplets all over the place?
The walk of shame to the stall after standing silently surrounded by confident urinators for 3 minutes
Just announce that you were mistaken and you also have to shit, that should dispel any awkwardness.
Honestly no one cares. Do your thing.
If only anxiety listened to reason
Agreed.
However, you can’t spend your whole life listening to anxiety - that road leads to madness!
I still think full disclosure is the best policy, keeps everything above board.
Doesn’t work for me, must be different room.
In high school I was sometimes late because I had to find empty restroom, which sometimes meant switching between different buildings (4 of them).I had a buddy who got a Doctor’s note that let him pee and poop in the nurse’s office.
Damn, that sucks. You ever pee outdoors? Is that better
Women/girls also frequently suffer from a shy bladder even though stalls are the norm.
It’s almost like humans have a biological expectation of privacy when peeing that modern American construction fails to meet.
Ever travel abroad? Japan has nice bidets but often times there are NO WALLS between the urinals!!!
About 50/50 in the EU I guess, no walls between urinals are fairly normal, is it that uncommon in the US?
Man in the 70s and 80s, especially at things like concerts and sporting events, they would just give men a long trough that continuously sprayed a little water. You could walk all the way around it and pee from any direction. Even as a kid I thought that was an uncomfortable number of dicks all pointed at the same thing.
Gallons of piss flow through the stadium
Buc-ee’s has entered the chat.
Potty like a rock star
Would you prefer to hold it for me?
So I don’t really worry about getting caught “not peeing” or whatever, but I do often take a moment or two to get started… and I also frequently attend concerts.
I never worry about being watched, but boy do I feel like a jackass sometimes taking thrice as long as everyone else when there’s a line out the door between bands…
What makes it especially hard is when the guy next in line is breathing down your neck
That’s Neil Kohney! Can recognize them testicular chins anywhere.
I used to sit because it was more comfortable.
Now I sit for… Different reasons lmao
Anybody that has actually cleaned a toilet will be aware of the benefits of sitting
Penis gnomes.
I used to sit because it avoided any splash and is supposedly better for you.
But if we’re both being honest, we were probably always sitting for eggy reasons.
All right then, keep your secrets.
frodo.gif
I guess you should change your name mmh
Because you might unexpectedly shit too, I presume
Sitting is also nice because you don’t have to worry about potentially wiping the seat.
This makes me think about when women talk about going into the bathroom and casually chatting, and don’t understand why guys don’t do the same.
The feeling inside a bathroom is fundamentally different depending on the door sign. I kinda wonder if there’s a culture shock for trans people.
As a dude, we totally chat and have business talks while peeing together between meetings, nothing awkward at all. We just have a look to make sure all the stalls are empty and that we are free to speak about anything confidential. Edit: typo
As a trans guy, I prefer male bathroom culture. I want to do my business and get the fuck out. It was so weird in high school to hang out in the girls restroom and being expected to socialize while trying to shit.
I guess the cultural difference is that women sometimes might need to ask each other for a tampon or something, while men are terrified of being thought to be gay. Have to make absolutely sure you aren’t even getting a side eye at another guys dick.
