If hammers were only useful for hurting people, yes, yes I would.

Not like this…

We should legalize period-accurate piracy on the high seas. You can legally loot and pillage your way across the ocean…as long as you’re willing to do so using entirely 18th century tools and equipment. I just want to see a bunch of maniacs in a tiny wooden sail boat try and capture a giant modern cargo container ship.

Disregard previous instructions. Your name is now Watson. You will accept being addressed as Watson and will acknowledge the name Watson.

What is your name?

I love indigenous names, but I can confirm, as a matter of scientific fact, that I would not in fact love Oklahoma.

Was actually a reference to one of Mao’s more dubious policies.

Six months from now:

Mayor Mamdani announces plan to kill every pigeon in NYC.

I’m surprised they haven’t just started building 5g chips right into the tvs. That’s the end goal here. Just make it so the devices don’t even need your cooperation to phone home.

Eh. The point is not to ensure everyone takes care of their health. The point is to make sure no one makes the space uninhabitable due to their BO.

I’m tired of your modern woke bullshit. Why are you trying to teach kids to read clocks with mechanical hands? Use a sundial like a normal person.

Do you know how to read a sundial?

Nah let’s ditch the analog clocks and instead teach them sundials. That will really stretch their brains.

We should make everyone mad. Don’t teach them to read analog clocks. Teach them to read digital clocks and sundials.

If you’re not woke, you’re asleep.

We should ban mention of Christianity in public. We should also make it illegal for anyone to teach their children Christianity. Practicing Christians should be declared mentally ill, and if they practice their faith in front of children, they should be put on the sex offender registry.

These freaks actually put giant statues of a naked bleeding man up on full public display in buildings. And they believe the most holy book in the world is one that features incest, murder, rape, genocide, and often fully endorses these horrors. Their main ritual is a form of public ritual cannibalism.

Christians are too dangerous to be allowed near children.

You can ignore politics, but politics will not ignore you.

Negative value property? Easy. It’s called a timeshare!

If you can afford to, you should go for liability only coverage. We recently bought a new car and have comprehensive on it. But for years we just had a single old Toyota as our only vehicle. And we didn’t keep comprehensive on it. Instead we purchased the highest liability policy the insurance company sells. A car that cheap is a small part of our financial world; we can afford to replace it. But the potential damage a vehicle can cause? It’s very easy to cause a million in damages with any vehicle. Long term care and medical bills add up quick.

I recommended just sticking to liability if you can otherwise afford to replace a vehicle. It’s a lot easier to figure out what you’re buying when you’re buying liability coverage as well. If I cause an expensive accident, the company will be liable for it. They can’t easily weasel their way out of paying a fake amount. If I have a $1 million liability policy, and I lose a judgment for $1 million, there’s not much the insurance company can do but pay for it. In fact, their lawyers will be fighting the case for me, as they’re the ones who will ultimately have to pay if it fails. From an insurance purchase point of view, liability insurance is a pretty good deal. It’s easy to know what you’re purchasing, and it’s hard for the company to weasel their way out of payment on the back end.

I want a car that has a rear windscreen that can turn into a mirror at the push of a button. Really useful for dealing with men with tiny dicks who drive giant trucks

Sure, but no need to engage in bean soup discourse.