better than losing your virginity to some dumbass that you think back to every couple months and go “why the fuck did I do that?”
23y is super young
You are not missing out. There are a lot of lunatics in this world, and IMO, it is better to have nothing than be with them. I was in it for the long term and because I wanted a serious relationship, with a person that is equal to me, not above or below me, and with mutual support for each other. Turns out most guys below 30 are turned off by that. And so basically I stayed boyfriendless for a long time. But the first “real” boyfriend I got, I kept, and he kept me, because we both had an agreement when it came to what we wanted out of the relationship. While I definitely know the pain, the genuine pain especially when you’re lying in bed, you know the one, right? This is still better than to have a destructive lunatic who will tear down everything happy about your life. With a person like that, you’ll wish the pain back because now it felt pleasant when compared to this. So please, do not despair. Carry on. Do things that you enjoy, or things where you can meet other young people. Then, forget about the dating advice. Treat even romantic interests as friends at first, and see what develops. Because IMO, no serious relationship was ever born out of some red pill YouTube trash.
This is just my opinion on this and I’m sure other people here have given good advice.
Yeah 23 is a bit old for that, but only a bit. I wasn’t much younger when I lost my virginity and had my first partner. Go out, meet people, flirt, ask people out, and it should happen
Meanwhile me, 35 and a kissless (and girlfriendless) virgin:
deleted by creator
I mean, at least you can cast magic missile in real life now, right?
Right???
Jebus man… I can’t even imagine that…
That said male toys are pretty good.
Get a full scale torso.
On one hand, it’s better to be alone than to be with someone who makes you wish you were alone. I learned this the hard way.
On the other hand, to have companionship is wonderful. I was almost 30 before I met the love of my life. She is a VERY quiet person. To the point where it was a little unnerving at first. One day, for some reason, she mustered the courage to ask me out on a date. I didn’t know how big a deal that was for her at the time. But I know from experience that dudes don’t get asked out often and I was impressed. That was almost 10 years ago.
She’s learned how to open up a lot more. She’s still quiet, quieter than me anyway, but she can also be a lot of fun. More importantly, she’s a good and honorable person, a good mom, and great wife. She’s my best friend and I’m grateful that I get to share my life with her.
23 isn’t particularly old at all.
If you don’t want to do online dating, try doing something where you will meet other people your age.
If you don’t want to do online dating, try doing something where you will meet other people your age.
What are those things? I’ve been trying to figure out where people meet people since I was 22. I’m 30 now and still couldn’t tell you where to go to meet people.
If you like running, join a running group.
If you like biking, join a biking group.
If you like _____, join a _____ group.
Yeah, the people in those groups won’t all be your age, but there is likely to be some variance, and you already have one interest in common.
This is key. And if you don’t get along with one, that’s ok, look for a different group.
If you don’t have any interests, browse meetup or something looking for something that you might enjoy. You can just try things, and it’s probably good for you to do so.
My general recommendation is board game groups are awesome. They often split up into people interested in social games and people interested in a more involved game (I like both, but my wife wants the most difficult and involved fame she can attempt to solve). Sitting there chatting as you do something fun is basically a cheat code to making friends and community.
If like old/ medieval shit, look into your local SCA. It’s the Society for Creative Anachronism, and at least in my area, it’s full of all sorts of neurospicy people that are fun to hang out with and learn new skills from.
- Plenty of people lose their virginity in the 20s and later, even if it’s not talked about much. Try not to worry about it. Nobody is going to judge you. My current girlfriend and I were both older than you when we lost ours.
- Virginity is a social construct and (assuming nobody gets pregnant or a disease) you’ll find that not much will change in your life once you lose it. I understand the FOMO, but being on the other side of it now I can tell you that it’s not really worth having FOMO over.
- Odds are you could find somebody to have sex with if you were really truly desperate. But you’re probably not that desperate, and nor should you be. Masturbation is significantly better than bad sex with some you don’t care about.
- Online dating apps generally suck and aren’t a great fit for most people, let alone one-size-fits-all. If you want to avoid the dating apps, I recommend finding other ways to put yourself out there and expand your social circle. Touch grass and get some hobbies. Do your best to make plutonic friends and see if that introduces you to people who you might want to ask out.
- If you have someone you want to ask out, then ask them out!! I spent too long letting shyness and fear of rejection block me from making moves, but we’re much better off just going for it. Rejection isn’t guaranteed, nor will it kill you if it happens.
Do not make plutonic friends, or any other trans-uranic friends for that matter. It won’t be good for you.
Plutonic relationship is created by solidified molten magma, according to my geologist friends.
What about a ring of saturnic friends?
I was almost 30 when I first kissed someone, had sex, fell in love. She’s the first and will hopefully be the last and I wouldn’t change a thing. (Except I should have gone to therapy 10 years earlier)
Your last sentence raises some rather interesting questions…
Like what? Wishing they got help for their mental health earlier isn’t that strange.
This can be interpreted as a complicated joke about that his mental health got so bad, that he hallucinated it all and still single and so on. His quote just needs some clarifications that will make sure he isn’t joking.
Oh, yeah I wasn’t joking. I had been depressed and anxious since puberty and didn’t really understand that (because “that’s just how life is, right?”) until I developed actual panic attacks and started therapy. Turns out I’m also autistic and have severe ADHD and that I’m not the lazy loser I thought I was. Therapy also enabled me to access and process my feelings a lot better, which helps me be a good partner. I simply wasn’t ready for a relationship before all that.
Thanks for clarification.
I love my plutonic friends, but I’d love to have some plowtonic friends as well
Masturbation is significantly better than bad sex with some you don’t care about.
Absolutely, had to find out the hard way. I do not recommend.
Great reply all around
You’re a god.
Trying to think about how old I was when I met my boyfriend, and it’s causing psychic damage because I have to reckon with how old I am now and I don’t want to. We’ve been together for what, six years now I think?
IDK, the first time I had sex all I could think was “that’s it?”. Now I’m married and can have as much boring sex as I want 😎.
I think society puts too much emphasis on the whole virgin thing.
thats why you do a few trial rounds around the block before you commit to marriage.
that way you appreciate the mediocre a lot more after finding out how prevalent the super bad is 😎
It takes two to tango, I’m definitely half to three-quarters the reason it’s boring.
acceptance is the first step on the road to improvement
What would make it not boring?
a ball vice, an estim kit, and my teeth
Faulty electric blanket.
Have you tried turning on the grail shaped light?
Bad Zoot
Oh, let me have just a little bit of peril?
No, its too perilous.
Society values a lot of shit based in sex, but you do not have to. Value yourself as you should and want sex is good nice fun and all but is not everything. It took me until 40 to stop doing that to myself.
Hey baby, wanna be disappointed?
- Travel to a place where prostitution is legal
- hire and/or become a prostitute
- profit (possibly literally)
spoiler
Seriously though, sex is overrated, as is virginity. Hell, iirc most focus on virginity was basically just invented to be another way for the church to hate/punish women for no reason and an excuse for priests to look up women’s skirts, so it’s a stupid concept to begin with
sex is overrated
Yo speak for yourself
*the importance of getting laid is overstated
Is that better?
Is Lemmy at the point of creepy dude capacity that I should wish RIP to your inbox?
It’s the internet
Pretty sure the nuns are boinking each other (in the butt)
Straps for Jesus 🙏
That’s god’s hole
