Oh, yeah I wasn’t joking. I had been depressed and anxious since puberty and didn’t really understand that (because “that’s just how life is, right?”) until I developed actual panic attacks and started therapy. Turns out I’m also autistic and have severe ADHD and that I’m not the lazy loser I thought I was. Therapy also enabled me to access and process my feelings a lot better, which helps me be a good partner. I simply wasn’t ready for a relationship before all that.