Midnight Wolf

“and somehow now I’m paying child support, where I’m fucked but I didn’t get fucked; tell me what kind of bullshit is thiiiiiis?”

On my Pixel, stock os:

• settings
• safety & emergency
• wireless emergency alerts

As someone who has had one before, I’m right there with you

Combo bonus!

A man after my own heart. Plus, dinner and a show.

I think it’s kinda high, but I’m the kinda guy who wants a courthouse wedding, with two attendees for legal requirements, for $75 instead of a day-long event for five-figures.

I’m also fine with taking my own pictures and ‘here hold this and press the button in 3 seconds’, so I’m not trying to compete with the Mona Lisa. I just don’t get the appeal at all.

Of course. The second ‘wedding’ leaves the customer’s lips, the price jumps 5x. Because fuck you pay me.

Where’s your portfolio?

…should really get new houses since the solar radiation will quickly give you cancer, it robs you of your privacy, and it is very fragile and expensive to replace?

Doesn’t really roll off the tongue well, though…

That’s not that big

smirks

I had an ex that could/would have done that, on cue, anytime. Their skill was unmatched, their dedication unwavering, their gag reflex nonexistent.

I miss them.

I recognized the character but couldn’t remember the name, thanks

But that’s a canine, not a feline

That’s called “hyper”

“I swear bb, it’s 10” but I can’t show you right now"

Null Island? Where the fuck is that?!

Okay Nabu. Turn my bedroom lights off.

(I actually have an automation to fade the lights out at a time, but y’know, gotta cover all the bases)

Pass me a coke would ya? Thanks.

No, that’s clearly a toilet

Urge to give this guy an aggressive waxing, rising rapidly