Weak men can’t admit to their faults nor face their shortcomings, lackings and fears. Entire sections of the internet have been devoted to allowing men to avoid reality and remain immature…
Oh fuck off. Therapy won’t help with… *gestures at everything*
Agreed. It’s more like “people would rather be lost at sea than live in a modern society”.
Quit crying. You’ll be fine. Don’t be such a crybaby. Man up. Put on your big boy pants. Boys don’t cry. Boo hoo, gonna cry about it? Gonna cry like a little girl? Be a man. Face your problems like a man. Crying doesn’t help anything. Take it like a man. Don’t be a baby. You’re acting like a girl. Grow a pair. Suck it up and move on.
Why will men do literally anything besides talk about their feelings?
To be fair it’s also men doing this to other men mostly. Women participate in toxic masculinity too, but really, men give each other a lot of shit with very little support.
Therapy has become the new buzzword to prescribe to any individualistic issue because most people don’t know what it is or who its for, they just think it’s a silver bullet solution to everything because everybody else says so… but it’s not.
Therapy is great for specific people with specific disorders, it’s there to help provide these people with solutions and treatments to improve their conditions. It’s not meant to be a replacement for a social circle or to fix the problems in your life.
Not to mention that therapy is either expensive or hard to access or the therapist you do get to see are usually not that great. It is very hard and very rare to find a good therapist that’s affordable and nearby. Even then, a therapist can only do so much. They’re trained to work through common disorders using several established methods, but not much beyond that. Therapists can help you overcome your anxiety, but they can’t help you find meaningful relationships.
This is doubly true for men, because a lot of men are facing issues related to finding purpose and meaning in life, and that’s something that’s beyond the scope of therapy. Maybe these issues could be resolved as a result of treating a disorder, but that’s not always the case. The point is that therapy is not a magical solution, and it’s not going to solve huge societal problems like men turning their backs on society.
Eh. Therapy is overrated. Tried it a bunch of times and it’s not nearly as effective for me as just… thinking.
Therapy doesn’t help much if you have no power over the root cause
Totally get where you’re coming from. If you’re staring down the barrel of something massive like trauma, abuse, an enitre system that’s completely fucked and seems way bigger than you and the others fighting it are or ever will be, it feels like no matter how much “self care” you do, the external crap stays the same, right?? It’s fucking maddening.
But idk, to me, therapy (actual, good therapy with a non-shitty therapist) isn’t about giving us power over the root cause, not always anyways because like you said, sometimes it’s impossible. Imo, a lot of times it’s about helping people stop handing more power to “it” (whatever it may be) than “it” already has. We don’t get to choose what happens to us sometimes, but we do get to choose how we respond to it, how we carry it, how we let it affect us, how we pass our pain onto others. It can be a super uncomfortable, yet extremely liberating, paradox. Like, okay, I might not be able to slay the dragon here (sorry, nerd here), but I can sure as hell stop feeding it in whatever way way I was (constant unhealthy thought patterns, my own actions or the lack thereof, etc).
Therapy doesn’t fix the world for sure, but it can help us decide which parts of the suffering are necessary, or which parts we might be unconsciously choosing to carry longer than we need to. Idk, that’s where our power really is, imo.
Fair, it can teach you tools many people do not have
My therapist is taking two weeks off for their own mental health, been hearing the same woes from everyone and it’s weighing
Shameless plug for /c/[email protected] for male identifying people to talk about these and all other issues with other men without any judgement or dumbass alpha male bullshit. It is meant to be literally this - a reprieve from the outside world. All of the people posting here hopeless and alone is why this place exists now.
therapy might get covered but costs money somewhere along the way. it might also lose you a job for ‘unrelated’ reasons.
you presumably get paid while lost at sea if you are part of the crew
therapy costs money
This is therapy. if I could just drop out of everything for 29 days I’d come back refreshed and Zen as fuck.
I’m getting major surgery in two weeks and I’ll be on short term disability for an entire month afterwards. I’m honestly really looking forward to the time off, even if it’ll be full of physical suffering. My burnout outweighs the physical trauma of having nearly all of my reproductive organs removed.
I did the same, back during COVID lockdown. I think my body just started producing endorphins, because I stopped taking the painkillers and was totally at peace while everybody lost their minds over the isolation. I played The Outer Wilds and accepted that everything must end.
Isn’t that called vacation? Just don’t bring any communications device ;)
I don’t know many people that can afford a 29 day vacation (I’m in the US, and yes I’m jealous of what I hear about European benefits)
Yeah it’s pretty fantastic, even if by some miracle I don’t have to work, all I can afford to do is sit at home anyway.
That’s about 1 standard stint in rehab where I’m from
“men hate therapy”
Yeah not really. You just get beaten down after trying several therapists and paying a lot and not feeling better. Even if you went through that once, it’s very discouraging.
I have a great therapist these days who has helped me a lot. I still hate therapy. I did finally figure out why, though. Because, with the exception of therapy and a couple of really great people, everyone I’ve ever been vulnerable in front of has weaponized it against me. So even though I know my therapist wouldn’t actually do that I’m still waiting on it to come back and bite me.
Been dumped by three women, the day after they saw me cry. Good news! My wife is fine with it, as rare as crying is, and comforts me. But y’all women don’t have a good track record in my book.
Yeah, the weaponization factor is real.
Probably not what you want to hear, it really sucks to be in that spot, but it is possible to find good ones! I went through 3 therapists over the course of a couple of years before finding one that helped me.
Not to mention it just doesn’t work as well for men as it does for women.
Please say why it is that you believe that. It’s a fascinating claim.
What??
Agreed. What? I’ve never seen a study stating this. And anecdotally, it worked fine for me, once I found the right therapist, the first two were meh, not a good fit.
So jelly 😌
No, we’d rather be lost at sea than have to participate in the broken society that makes people need therapy.
I lack the photoshop skills, but uh
The ‘plap plap GET PREGNANT’ meme, but with a therapist shouting:
‘accept what you can’t change’
‘don’t blame yourself for things out of your control’
‘oh, the copay is $125’
‘you missed the last appointment so we charged you for not canceling in advance’
‘im worried you’re not taking our sessions seriously’
sorry psych professionals, there is no ethical therapy under capitalism
there is no ethical therapy under capitalism
Lol
The ‘plap plap GET PREGNANT’ meme, but with a therapist shouting:
h’whut with h’whomb?
Ok, I may not have great photoshop skills, but I do have a knowledge of ancient memes:
i feel vindicated.
100%
But also, go to therapy
You can just do that. No one is stopping you from buying a canoe and floating away
Honestly if I had the means and skills to survive that semi-comfortably, I’d be down for making that an annual tradition.
Just goes to show how insane society has become that you’d rather go to therapy than take a 29 day break by being lost at sea.
Society hasn’t become that bad. It’s becoming that bad again, and almost none of us are used to it.
29 days away from reality is therapy.
There’s a tiny town in northern California called Downieville that my wife and I love to visit. It’s maybe 200 people, sits on the convergence of two decent sized rivers, and there is pretty much no cell service. Even just a week of sitting by that river is enough to fully recharge me and not want to break everything for at least 4 months.
“Gee I love working, can’t wait to reduce my down time to work some more.”
Being lost at sea is reality. Society is the dream
