Start prepping for some strategic tech investments.
Butterfly effect, your investments changes the fate of the companies you invest in.
GOOD, i didn’t want those companies to succeed anyway
holy shit i’m going to make sure Apple stays dead forever :D
You may not be aware, by stopping Apple you are enabling Skynet
Win/win
Honestly, that’s the way I read the parent comment. Become a roadblock for the trash we have today.
In terms of the global economy I doubt any of us could raise enough capital to impact corporate strategy
Take my routine morning shit. But instead of my phone I’m reading the label on the back of any bottle I can reach from the throne.
Do I wake up at 6 years old? Or as I am now, but in '95?
Doesn’t matter, I’m watching fuckin POWER RANGERS.
What was I doing in 1995?
I would wake up, pour some Frosted Flakes and play Donkey Kong Country.
What would I do now?
Go outside and take a slow walk through my old neighborhood and probably cry.
1995…
I was 10 years old and in the 5th grade.
And I remember everything, huh? Hoo boy. Hoooo boyyyyy.
First thing I do is write this list while it’s still fresh in my mind:
- ADHD is real and it will ruin my potential if I don’t face it head on. The medication won’t work on me yet, though, so tell Mom and Dad I NEED to get back on medication when my brain is more developed in a couple years.
- Also, for future reference: it isn’t actually a deficit of ATTENTION at all–it’s really stupidly named by neurotypicals who don’t fucking get it–it’s TIME BLINDNESS and a deficit of IMPULSE CONTROL and EXECUTIVE FUNCTION.
- Sugar is going to make me extremely sick and all my weight and fitness issues come directly from carbohydrate overdose. STOP drinking soda, and avoid refined/homogenized starch!
- I’m about to enter the most painful and traumatizing stage of my formative years. The middle school I’ll be attending starting 6th grade will be hell on earth. I need to keep my FUCKING mouth shut and not talk to ANYONE unless they talk to me. I also need to practice the skill of mindful dissociation and compartmentalization. Stoicism will be my only shelter.
- Yes the adults around me are morons and don’t know what they’re talking about, but broken clocks can be right twice a day. In this case, they’re correct about homework and studying being important for the wrong reasons: It is NOT about satisfying the expectations of teachers, but rather it is entirely for practicing the skill of internalizing and recalling information. I will not regret time I spend on it.
- Mom and Dad are struggling financially right now. Dad’s racking up debt while Mom is the only reliable source of income. That’s why they would “hold onto” my birthday and xmas money “for safekeeping”. it is neither kept nor safe; it’s gone. All of it. HIDE ANY MONEY I RECEIVE… and tell grandpa to buy stock in Apple.
- Express early interest in nuclear energy and pursue it with everything I’ve got. Approach via Mechanical Engineering. I’ll enjoy Computer Aided Drafting in High School.
- Remember the major incidents to come: Columbine and zero tolerance policy in 1999, also dotcom bubble crash, Al Gore will lose in 2000, WTC will be destroyed by a terrorist attack 2001-09-11, Bush Jr administration will cause the housing market to crash as well by 2008, America succumbs to Fascism in 2016, and there will be a global plague in 2020.
- I’m a furry and I am not actually a boy despite being assigned male at birth. Embrace androgyny. Get online. Find my tribe. Draw a lot.
Middle school CANNOT be THAT traumatizing 😭😭
[Exactly how traumatizing it was--Caution: NSFL]
I was sexually assaulted in the locker room by other students. No one believed me. I subsequently experienced a psychological breakdown. The traumagenic dissociation plunged me through egodeath and I stopped being a person for a year. I was literally not myself again until 2009. I am still slightly messed up to this day, but the two decades that followed immediately after the incident were especially rough.
Edit: this is not a dunk and I don’t hold it against you. By all accounts, in a better world, middle school shouldn’t be traumatizing. But unfortunately, this is not the better world.
Omg :o sorry to hear, was not expecting that
…truly i’m grateful you listened. What I experienced cannot be un-experienced, but … the only way there’s any chance of people doing something about this kind of terrible event, taking preventative measures against it, etc, is if they know it happens.
A peaceful existence comes from understanding conflict and how to address it.
Fire up my PC and hit the dial up to check my email and BBS’s.
Also go outside to grab my paper to read the comics first.
ascii
nudesartNSFW
(.)(.)
BBS’s
You can still do that, if you want.
- SDF (shameless plug) is still around
- Tildeverse, a loose association of pubnixes exists
- Gopher and Gemini (a protocol inspired by Gopher) have had some minor resurgence.
Will you use Turbo mode?
Two chicks at the same time
“That’s what you’d do if you had a million dollars?”
“Hell yeah man, always wanted to do that.”That feels easier now than then
Your comment reminded me that many times this was my go to activity. GF was BI and enjoyed me interacting with her and her various girlfriends.
Cell phones existed in 1995. They were expensive and just used for making phone calls, tho.
Had the internet too. I’d be playing Doom or checking out Usenet forums.
OOOH Look at Mister FANCY PANTS with his dial up internet. You must be rich, Mister Fancy Pants.
I think I had AOL at the time…
AOL was dial-up.
Of course it was. I had it.
Apologies, I misread the tone of your comment. I thought you were jokingly saying dial up was fancy while you had to deal with AOL. I didn’t read it as two different statements as I should have.
Sorry I work in tech and may take things for granted.
Making actual phone calls‽ The horror!
Nice use of the interrobang!
Everyone had mobiles in 1995, they were like $300 The Australian mobile network started in 1982
The Australian mobile network was CB radio until 2015.
I really miss summers without wildfire smoke.
Boot up my dad’s computer and play some shareware off the magazine cover disk I got months ago.
Or go to the library I guess.
I was probably playing Cannon Fodder at that time on our computer.
d: cd games cd cannon (space)(space)(F3)I still like going to the library and reading real books
Am i the only person who is driven insane by the insinuation that WiFi is synonomous with ‘having the internet’?
No. It’s the Chromebook/iPad generation. I feel like they don’t truly understand the Internet or computers. Having used Windows 98 and onward, my friends and I had to really learn to troubleshoot and learn the innards of the system. Nowadays, everyone is in a protective shell like Chrome OS, iOS or Android. It’s all dumbed down now. Simplicity isn’t always good imo
Edit: Windows was a gateway drug into Linux
I’d hug my mom. Then I’d go ask the pretty next door girl for a date; I lesrned later in life that she also had a crush on me at the time, but since I was plain looking and slightly overweight nerd I never thought I’d hsve any chance with her.
After getting that out of my system I’d do the obligatory investing.
I’d walk out to the street then light me up that cigarette and strap shoes on my feet.
I’d probably try to find a reason where everything went wrong. I’d really like to find a reason why my money is all gone.
You got a dog? Still smoke?
and I can still play the guitar like a mother fuckin riot.
Life is too short so love the one you got cause you might die of overdose on your wedding night after signing that big contract like a big fucking dumbass
You do mean your fee-f-f-f-feet?
Am I stupid or is this sentence unparseable?
Does it have to be one or the other?
I didn’t say xor.
[Imagine] you wake up in 1995. [There’s] no wifi [and] no cell phones. [What’s] the first thing you do?
you’ve omitted “just.” If “just” were not in the sentence I would have instinctively filled it in with the missing words you’ve suggested. But I can’t reconcile “just” with any parse.
True. English isn’t my native language and I thought about this, but it somehow just makes sense in my head. The way the “just” is used reminds me of the Modalpartikel we have in German. They’re basically filler words that add nuance, emphasis or expectation to a sentence.
Sometimes people ask “Just why?”, and that’s a bit different than only “Why?”, because it adds a sense of confusion or urgency to the question.
That makes sense, and “just” is a filler word in English. I can see why in another language like German this would work fine. But in English, at least to me, this seems exceptionally clunky. The simplest explanation is simply that “just” isn’t generally used in a context where “what” is been elided, but maybe there’s a deeper reason why it sounds odd to me.
Get my SNES or Gameboy and play some Zelda.
