Why are all of his fingers the same length?

Chicken: “Good thing I got here early.”

“I’m on my fourth gynecologist. Some people just can’t take a joke.”

Funny, my digitized collection of movies and TV shows seems to be working just fine. :3

Travel back in time 20 years and that sentence makes you sound like a crazy person.

Either way, they’re too late to hit the ball, that’s going to be a bean in the shoulder.

“Thank you, Mr. Gideon.”

“No, thank you, Mr. Christ.”

She needs to return that shirt.

When you’re the leader of the most powerful nation of Earth and you get wrecked beyond recovery by an old lady.

The same fucking person!

More like a piledriver.

A planet that hasn’t yet been discovered.

“Oh look, there’s a red, glowing angel in the sky. I wonder if that’s good or bad.”

Japan has one of the longest average lifespans in the world. If their artists are clocking out in their 50s, they are literally being worked to DEATH!

Im a little bothered by how much this angle makes him look like my father.

The question is what’s a Big Bertha doing in a ghost house?

Dammit, those look good. I want three.

Cinnamon Toastius

My face when someone who is nowhere near as good as me making more money at it.

Shepard.