• chiliedogg@lemmy.world
      13·
      10 hours ago

      I just do January first of however far it goes with a quick swipe.

      The distressing part is how that’s shifted from saying I’m way older than I am to saying I’m way younger than I am.

      • Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world
        11·
        10 hours ago

        Younger…older…I’m all ages and nonexistant at the same time. I am a simple concept. I am insanity. I have 47 arms, 362 penises, 926 vaginas, and 626 totally new genitalia of my own unique creation which I haven’t named yet.

        I drive an F1 racecar to my job on the moon making space biscuits for cowboys and indians that fight each other on Jupitor.

        Your mere mortal laws do not apply to me! I’m inside everybodys butthole, making it itch when you’re giving a public speech.

        • skulblaka@sh.itjust.works
          2·
          9 hours ago

          My first name is a random set of numbers and letters and other alphanumerics that changes hourly forever

          My last name, a thousand vowels fading down a sinkhole to a sussurus, couldn’t just be John Doe or Bingo

          My address, a made up language written out in living glyphs, lifted from demonic literature and religious text

          Telephone uncovered by purveyors of the Ouija, then checked against the CBGB women’s room graffiti

          My social, a sudoku

          My age is obscure

          My ‘in-case-of-emergency’ is in the daisies chasing birds

          Employed by trillionaires with perfect teeth and pores, and people who open doors for the people who open doors

          My medical history is a course at SUNY Buffalo

          Charlatan psychiatry and troubleshooting undertow

          Nervous in the service still,

          I’m burger meat and purple pills

          “Here, thank you. We’ll call your name.”

          Sure you will

          • Aesop Rock, “Shrunk”