(TikTok screencap)
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Girl version…
Guys who thought they could get it: 40
Drinks gotten: 37
Gotten it?: No fucking idea anymore.My saturday night stats are
Asshole drunk guys i almost beat up: 1
People who i wanted to ask out and got basically friendzoned by: 1
Friends who dont know what the fuck just happened but at the same time stopped me from commiting a crime: 4
Also fun fact apparently the asshole guy has a record as a sexual predator, yay, i think im not going out for a few weeks after this expreince, kinda feel hollow after it. I want a time out from life rn
Yes my “girls who can get it” to “got it” ratio works out to something like my odds of winning the next billion dollar powerball.
In other words, really low probability with a substantial risk that even if you do hit it, you’ll have to share the jackpot with others?
My marriage in a nutshell.
There’s a club if you’d like to go You could meet somebody who really loves you So you go and you stand on your own And you leave on your own And you go home, and you cry, and you want to die
Who are these people?
Ronald Regan, MC Hammer, David Bowie, Niel Patrick Harris
Wow, they look so much different when they’re younger lol
The second guy from the left kind of looks like a mash-up of Edward Norton and Andrew Garfield.
I was thinking Adam Scott’s dad
I lack the creativity to imagine that, but I’ll still support you because you’re objectively better than spaces for indentation.
Why is the weather app significant?
“Hey gurl, according to this app, you’re about to get really wet.”
Can I use this?
The real question is should you? And the answer is obviously yes
Something something thunderclap dem cheeks.
Now you have to, this is legally binding.
Gotta look busy like you’re in high demand. How you can you be a hot commodity if you’re not popular.
AccuWeather wants to know my location! ❤️
Eat it, virgins!
I was once a a concert that was pretty busy and the moshpit was pretty gnarly. I met a guy there in the moshpit who played age of empires on his phone.
Did he do so in the mosh pit? I’ve never been in one but from what I’ve seen online that would be pretty impressive.
Honestly, that’s gotta be among the biggest mosh pit power moves possible. “I am so unperturbed by all of this.”
I’m guessing it’s his way of avoiding eye contact / conversations or to just seems busy
Successful af
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