Yeah, but also it’s a different perspective. Which can sometimes be “I’m not currently banging them so I see a lot of the stuff you ignore or justify, or stuff you’re not there to see”.
you’ll notice the same people who give good relationship advice are also the people who have no relational attachments
Nailed it. I was in my mid-20s when I realized I should stop taking advice from people who weren’t living the way I wanted.
We don’t take financial advice from homeless people. Same thing with relationship advice.
Just because they are single doesn’t mean they don’t understand what they are talking about. Just like being in one doesn’t mean they understand anything either.
I’ve known more people in my life in a relationship that couldn’t give fucking anything remotely close to healthy advice, then single people that could give you the best advice you could want.
There are more codependent people who chase a relationship no matter how toxic or unhealthy they are. Then there are actually sane, reasonable people who have their shit figured out either single or in a relationship.
Single for life. Still managed to help save a marriage.
Hell yeah, this is the way.
On the other hand, if a homeless junkie tells me that shooting heroin is a terrible idea, I’m inclined to take their words to heart.
“Don’t do what I did”
Yes, but I, like many before me and many more to come, have played out the exact same classical tragedy:
Everyone: “Don’t stick your dick in crazy.”
Me: sticks dick in crazy
Chorus: “Woe be to our Hero, fallen to hubris, laid to waste! O! How defiant was he to the Gods and to the exhortations of his fellows! The sour reapings of his field of pride now taint his wine, a potted plant now lay shattered in his sink for some reason, and his Game boy Advance game collection now lay in the hands of the deceiver who hath no Game Boy, nor knowledge of their value, nor interest in gaming!”
Fuck that. Who the fuck says don’t stick your dick in crazy?
Cowards, that’s who.
You have one life, actively search for that sweet sweet crazy tang, king.
Didn’t you read it? I lost my game boy games. And my Game Boy Micro. Rare shit.
Wait 20 years. You’ll wish you lost more.
Hey I’m him 20 years later. Dodged a bullet, got off easy.
Whatever, I guess I’m just Neo.
Crazy is one of the best things to stick your dick in.
Now, “Don’t get in a serious relationship with crazy” is some pretty solid advice.
Crazy people, known for respecting boundaries and accepting one nice night.
As a former crazy, we do sometimes grow out of it
Yeah I’m currently dating “I got diagnosed and like who I am on my current meds” Still fucks like a wild animal, though. Wish me luck!
Godspeed you absolute legend!
I’m that friend. I’ve helped start or save relationships. Coaches don’t play.
People forget that.
The point of a coach is someone who is observing you and giving you input that you can’t necessary see yourself. And also assisting you with planning and strategizing that is very hard to do on your own. it’s a division of labor.
that said even professional relationship experts are working with a ton of cultural and sexist biases and other dogmas that may or may not apply to your circumstances, so whether or not their advice is useful or practical for your situation is something you have to be aware of.
pretty much most ‘advice’ folks ever gave me a form of ‘make more money’. which as far as I’m concerned, isn’t relationship advice, it’s just cultural dogmatism that money is all that matters in the end.
A former friend of mine at uni became obsessed with a girl who worked there, and started to develop all sorts of creepy behavior towards her (watching her for hours on end, stalking her home down quiet country lanes, found out where she lived, etc). All without ever trying to talk with her or ask her out. He became fixated with her, and of course she noticed his obsession and became uncomfortable and started to stress out.
At one point I told him that his behavior wasn’t cool, and that he should either ask her out and live with the consequences or move on.
He got really angry at me, which didn’t surprise me. But one of the things he said to me was that I didn’t understand women and that’s why I was and would always be single. It was honestly funny because he was also single at that time.
Roll on the years and I’ve been happily married for a couple of decades. And from what I’ve been told through mutual acquaintances he’s still single. And probably still stalking women.
This meme reminded me of him.
On behalf of all women, thank you for calling him out. We need more of that from other guys.
I just wish he had learned something from it. It’s disheartening how pigheaded some people can be.
Basically the manosphere
Have an acquaintance that is single and went through a messy divorce. Still tries to give unsolicited advice to everyone. Don’t tell people to clean their room if yours is perpetually messy.
Depends on the advice. If they’re talking about their mistakes, that can be informative. But, if they discuss their mistakes and then say “… and this is what you should do, instead”, that’s just unproven speculation on their part.
But, at the end of the day, relationship advice is mostly useless, because only the most general advice works for everyone. The specific issues between two, complex people can’t be understood and advised for by listening to one side of the story for a few minutes.
also why the ‘just break up with them’ is good advice. because well, if it’s that bad of an issue it’s already probably past the point of no return and there isn’t any fixing it.
once trust is broken, there isn’t any fixing it. you’ll just forever be in a relationship that is damaged, but for some folks that’s better than not being in a relationship.
I know so much about relationships that I know I don’t want to be in one. I can still offer advice on how to navigate the problems I’ve decided I don’t want to deal with anymore.
Or they all hate their wives. (Or you hate all their wives)
I hate meeting dudes who want to talk to me about how they hate their wife and kids and how glorious my life is because I’m single.
and yeah, if you meet their wife, you also hate their wife because she just talks to you about how he sucks as a husband/man.
miserable people tend to love being miserable together. and their misery is always someone else’s fault.
Advice so bad, we both turned into different people.
I have the burden of knowledge that I can not use for myself.
The best drug advice always comes from people who don’t do drugs…
The best drug advice is to educate yourself first, and people who don’t do drugs won’t know the URL.
