Someone at Open AI saw the episode of GitSSAC and decided they wanted to fuck the organ manufacturing CEO with the tin can cybernetic body, I see.
If your AI needs a »personality« to keep you engaged, you’re no longer just buying hardware. You’re buying a relationship designed by a corporation. The biggest risk isn’t smarter AI. It’s outsourcing companionship, habits, and decisions to a product that ultimately serves its maker.
… Claude, is that you
They built a literal DJroomba. Parks and rec writers > OpenAI.
Can move on it’s own?! Just what I always wanted! An obnoxious speaker creature that follows me around, “learns” about me, and never shuts the fuck up.
These guys have their fingers on the pulse.
I already have a cat.
Hey, at least cats have the decency to be in charging mode 23 hours a day.
Cats don’t learn about you. They learn how to control you. Oh.
Absolutely! I would love to spit up a hairball on your rug.
Can move on it’s own?!
Nope, there’s an underpaid contractor somewhere in India that the company OpenAI outsourced their work to, outsourced their work to.
That person is watching and listening to everything you do and piloting the robot.
But dont worry, OpenAI is training their new robot controller on this person’s actions so that soon™ they can terminate their contract with the company that outsourced their stalking to the Indian man now watching you masturbate.
Lmao like the world’s first humanoid robot that got announced a few months back. Did anyone even buy these?
either that or its a phillipines operator.
What they’re proposing: C-3PO.
What they’re planning: Droideka.
What they’ll sell: R5-D4.
All we want: Gonk.
Can it shut the fuck up and move the fuck away from me?
Only with a premium subscription (premium subscriptions do not disable targeted subliminal ads played in “good night mode”)
How about a stern talking to with a baseball bat?
That sounds absolutely useless!
Weird how “AI” still isn’t magical…
website doesn’t work, says I have to disable my adblocker
Sounds to me like a problem with your adblocker. No issues viewing on FF+uBO.
Just what us plebes have simply been asking for!
Now I’m intrigued because another article called it a light-up keyboard, and still another called it a ChatGPT Remote.
What happened to the Jony Ive camera thing?
Is that why apple sued them?
The what?
This is 5 months old:
https://www.macrumors.com/2026/02/20/jony-ive-openai-smart-speaker-2027/
He looks like divorced Cory Doctorow
Okay.
Is it?
Bloomberg reported Tuesday that the device — which is still currently under development — is designed to be screen-free and is being pitched internally as a “humanlike AI companion that lives in the home.”
OpenAI has long claimed that it wants to launch a hardware product — with some rumors being that it wants to launch its own phone, a move that would put it in competition with Apple.
OpenAI’s newly surfaced device sounds like something of a departure from traditional smart speakers — as sources described the device to Bloomberg as having a “personality” and being able to proactively learn about its owner over time, providing more personalized service. The machine would have access to a user’s digital life, drawing off things like emails, sources said.
The device is also weirdly described as involving “mechanical elements that can move on their own” and the Bloomberg report includes the detail that the device is designed to “feel like a companion and become a physical manifestation of OpenAI’s ChatGPT.
That’s pretty much what the smart speakers were marketed to do. Draw off your digital life in order to give you personalized responses.
Sounds to me like the only thing this does is roam around and
giveAI psycohcsishave “personality”.
