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Ward I think you were a little hard on the beaver
“She pushed on my hips, an order that thrust me in. I entered her. Not only my prick, but the whole of me entered her, into her guts, into her darkness, eyes wide open, seeing nothing. My whole body had gone inside her. I went in with her thrusts and stayed still. While I got used to the quiet and the pulsing of my blood in my ears and nose, she pushed me out a little, then in again. She did it again and again, holding me with force and moving me to the rhythm of the surf. She wiggled her breasts beneath my hands and intensified the pushing. I went in up to my groin and came out almost entirely. My body was her gearstick.”
- From The Day Before Happiness
Garth Marenghi wept.
How the fuck did this get printed?
Is this scene before or after she breasted boobily down the stairs?
Witcher reference?
Funny because that’s the actual start of the Witcher…
Quote: She came to him towards morning. She entered very carefully, moving silently, floating through the chamber like a phantom; the only sound was that of her mantle brushing her naked skin. Yet this faint sound was enough to wake the witcher - or maybe it only tore him from the half-slumber in which he rocked monotonously, as though travelling though fathomless depths, suspended between the sea bed and its calm surface amidst gently undulating strands of seaweed. He did not move, did not stir. The girl flitted closer, threw off her mantle and slowly, hesitantly, rested her knee, on the edge of the large bed. He observed her through lowered lashes, still not betraying his wakefulness. The girl carefully climbed onto the bedclothes, and onto him, wrapping her thighs around him. Leaning forward on straining arms, she brushed his face with hair which smelt of chamomile. Determined, and as if impatient, she leant over and touched his eyelids, cheeks, lips with the tips of her breasts. He smiled, very slowly, delicately, grasping her by the shoulders, and she straightened, escaping his fingers. She was radiant, luminous in the misty brilliance of dawn. He moved, but with pressure from both hands, she forbade him to change position and, with a light but decisive movement of her hips, demanded a response. He responded. She no longer backed away from his hands; she threw her head back, shook her hair. Her skin was cool and surprisingly smooth. Her eyes, glimpsed when her face came close to his, were huge and dark as the eyes of a water nymph. Rocked, he sank into a sea of chamomile as it grew agitated and seethed.
I just assumed it was Steven King until I read the comments here
Not enough jahoobie talk to be King
Uhh, US biscuit or UK biscuit?
US. Buttermilk biscuit. and heavy on the salted butter.
I know right, that’s disgusting.
Rowan Somerville “the shape of her” I can’t figure out if it’s satire or not
What a terrible day to have eyes.
down the vena cavity to her heart
I’m not sure this guy is a proper doctor…
If someone actually managed to get turned on reading this, I’d be concerned for their mental well-being
So you’re just gonna stand there, straight faced and tell me you don’t love pee flavored hot biscuits?
thank’s for caring ❤️
wow what a read… what is it from?
Mr. Peanut by Adam Ross. Wikipedia link.
Mesmerizing, exhilarating, and profoundly moving, Mr. Peanut is a police procedural of the soul, a poignant investigation of the relentlessly mysterious human heart—and a first novel of the highest order.
David Pepin has been in love with his wife, Alice, since the moment they met in a university seminar on Alfred Hitchcock. After thirteen years of marriage, he still can’t imagine a remotely happy life without her—yet he obsessively contemplates her demise. Soon she is dead, and David is both deeply distraught and the prime suspect.
It has a 3.25 rating. Which seems a little high to me, maybe 😂
“Mr. Peanut was described by Michiko Kakutani in The New York Times as “a dark, dazzling and deeply flawed novel that announces the debut of an enormously talented writer”. It was named one of the best books of the year by The New Yorker, The Philadelphia Inquirer, The New Republic, and The Economist.”
That’s a perfectly reasonable score.
After all anything >4.7 is great 4.6-4.2 is good, 4.1-3.6 is decent and <3.5 unreadably terrible.Depends on the genre … this weekend I spent some time hiding from the heat, and powered my way through two short books rated at 4.2 or just above.
They were both plotless wish fulfillment, with a huge number of plot holes, loose ends dangling all over the place, character development that didn’t make sense, and so on. Each had maybe one thing written well, which kept me going to the end, but I really did waste my time.
I thought you were fucking with us because of the bad Wikipedia link (EDIT: it linked to the corporate mascot) but that Good Reads link was surprisingly real.
What a title.
Ahahaha. I apologize. I forgot to direct link to the “In popular culture” section. I’ve fixed it now.
Great Expectations
by Charles ‘Louisville Slugger’ Dickens
I was really hoping that somehow, a woman wrote this. Yet again, our suspicions have been realized. XD
Nope, is dude.
Had me at hot biscuit
The pee flavor is just a bonus
Cuz she do NOT wipe properly
🥵
Reminds me of the fortune teller / writer in After Life Season 2 (or was ir beginning of season 3?) - did they write a whole book in that style? :D
