My coworker and I shared a stamp that we got made for this purpose and it became something people looked forward to getting in their card, weirdly.
I think it said something like
Dear ______,
Happy Birthday / Anniversary (circle one)
You are such a _________ and __________ man / woman (circle one) and I hope you have a great day.
With utmost sincerity, Name
Something like that. I think I actually still have it somewhere.
It says right on the stamp: Brendan.
Would a printed stamp work? Then it would be easy and cheap.
It’s Brendan, can’t you read?
Yes, but Andrea refuses to.
There’s someone at my work that has done this.
After people found out about it, they started skipping having her sign birthday cards
Working better than intended.
Oh my god. I found someone like me.
I mean, if the stamp had said, “It is your birthday” it woulda at least been kinda funny.
Office life hack right there.
Need a couple more, though.
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Generic ‘congratulations’ for graduations, promotions, retirements, baby announcements, etc.
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Generic ‘wishing you well in these tough times’ for deaths in the family, and get well soon cards, etc.
Could also be congratulations depending on how they feel about the death
Need to switch those two stamps tho.
‘promotion’? more like working harder for less than you’re worth. ‘graduation’? ah yes, 4 years of your life for minimum wage. ‘retirement’? That’s a good one. ‘baby’? Hope you like coming in on 2 hours of sleep with one shoe on. Wishing you well, you’re going to need it!
‘tough times’, you get the week off to cry, lucky fuck. Vacation to paradise, out for surgery/cancer/aliens bit your neck. Well don’t you get all the luck?
throws Bob’s desk out of the 4th floor window LUCKY FUCKING BOB OVER HERE, WHILE WE ARE OVER HERE IN CORPORATE HELL
A stamp that’s just a line so you can cross out mistakes and another with an apology for using the wrong one before.
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