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That’s why your therapist said to try. So often people think they’re only trying if they’re succeeding. Just being at the party is a hell of a lot better for gaining social experience than being at home. You’ll fail countless times before you succeed, but it gets easier and easier the longer you do it. Trying just means not giving up, so good on you for continuing.
Just gonna throw it out there that I stopped being lonely when I started forming my union, because the whole point is to connect with coworkers and have regular meetings with other people. You get to improve your workplace and you build genuine human connection. Win-win
it takes a pretty good personality to get people to join a union. good on you
I want to be as far from my coworkers as possible. lol
Kind of the same. My coworkers aren’t bad people or anything, but… I work in a male-dominated field. I’m the only woman in my office and department. IYKYK.
Mine are. lol
But yeah, I hear you loud and clear.
Been there. Another job, got constantly teased by male coworkers and had to pretend I found it funny just so they would get bored quicker.
Mentally sending daggers in your coworkers’ direction, and hoping you find a better environment.
Don’t dive right into the deep end if your anxiety will prevent you from talking to people.
Practice making small talk in casual settings. Maybe take up a hobby where you can meet people.
I heard somewhere that an easy way to try is with cashiers or other staff. You got 30 seconds to chat and if you mess it up you’ve already got an out and can walk away. Just read the room and make sure they aren’t crazy busy of course
As a cashier, we love this; but for the love of god don’t ask abt our aspirations. I’m already a cashier no need to dwell on dreams that didn’t happen.
One customer asked me if I had vacations plans to go to France. I just started working full time to pay for college and an apartment. Its been 5 years and I still haven’t taken a vacay :'(
I did this, it’s a great place to start.
If you’re feeling like this, it might be that you haven’t found your people yet.
When you’re with the right people, it still takes effort to socialise, and time to build your skills, but it’s much easier.
The hardest part is the early bit, where you need to push yourself to go to lots of different stuff in an attempt to find your people. There is no trick or tip to make this part easier — it just sucks. I’m at a decent point in terms of social skills nowadays, but I’ve been trying to make friends after moving to a new city, and damn, this part of the process is tiring.
I mention this because I want to emphasise that if you’re finding this difficult, that’s normal and okay. If you find yourself becoming weary after many instances like in the OP, then that’s okay and normal too. It is hard. But it gets better, if you keep at it.
🫂
therapists don’t tell you stuff like that
Mine absolutely did and it worked well for me, definitely got me out of a rough spot due to social anxiety
I’m glad it worked for you.
