I just like to watch you guys (react to the posts).

Thoughts and prayers that some of the lesser residents of hell may catch a break while the demons focus their attention on Brian Thompson.

Oh, don’t worry, there’s a topical one already teed up for tomorrow.

Gaming journalists don’t know about it

I made up a class name and assigned it to an expensive-sounding ship because I’ve never played Star Citizen and have never even been on the website; in trying to make up some dumb bullshit, I accidentally came up with something that approximates the Anvil Liberator.

And, you know, gestures wildly at the $48,000 ship pack; the fact this in-game asset I basically just made up by accident is real and sold officially for $575; the lack of any release timeline and the way it’s been in early access for over a decade despite raising over $1 billion, amounting to a never-ending whalefishing expedition…

Edit: Oh my god, it’s actually a real thing, and it costs $575. I promise I don’t play Star Citizen and have never seen this before. I genuinely just wanted to make up some stupid bullshit (I literally just ripped the class name off of one of the ranks from the game Ratchet: Deadlocked and gave a type of ship that sounded expensive), but Chris beat me to the punch. Bravo.

He’s the dress shop’s favorite customer.

Why are you so hysterical?!

He’s got Linguini, a scrawny little 20s-something waiter. Stuart has a 15-year-old Jonathan Lipnicki who could definitely 1v1 Linguini plus two late-30s parents (even if Remy pilots him and even if the chef’s hat is off for max visibility, since 1) the family will know how this works and can try to get Remy out of the hair, and 2) there’ll be at least some latency in controlling him since it takes time to move the hair). Plus Stuart has no need to pilot the family and can therefore be off doing his own thing fucking around in his airplane (which he could use to shave Linguini’s hair if he gets a good shot in; we’ve seen it literally shred a falcon). So unless Remy is actively trying to kill Stuart, using a kitchen knife against his family with Linguini, he’s not going to get the upper hand. Remy has his family? Okay, have Snowbell get like a dozen cat friends and tell them it’s all you can eat.

Okay, fuck this slander. Stuart’s a little bitch, but he’s a clever little bitch. That mf can fly a plane, drive a car, and man a sailboat. If he just met Remy in a dark alley, Remy would probably win, but with planning on his side (especially coordinating with the humans to get him what he needs), I’m betting on Stuart. Stuart defeated a fucking falcon who was trying to kill him. Not just defeated: straight-up murdered him. Also, Stuart is an actual accepted member of society with citizenship etc. and can actually speak, whereas Remy needs to rely on other means to communicate, and like three people understand he’s sapient and human-like. If this isn’t a fair fight, he could easily have the humans do his dirty work for him because to them, Remy is just a vermin. He could even just sic Snowbell on him. It took the entire colony of rats to take down – by surprise – one scrawny health inspector, so don’t give me that “Remy has backup too”. In fact, Stewart could probably just make himself a tiny gun.

TL;DR: Remy wins if it’s by surprise. Stewart probably wins with prep time if it’s one-on-one. Stewart destroys Remy if they can call for backup.

Four shitposts? You want four fuckin’ shitposts, Blackout?

- “She didn’t get her dicking down.”

- “Is she disappointed?”

- “Quite a bit.”

I will climb the highest of mountains, just to make you a shitpost, I will.

You’re not his fucking mother!

In tuxes? No. You gotta be kidding.

I feel like I’m sitting on an atomic bomb waiting for it to go off.

That son of a bitch told me that I would get it within one day. I gave them upvotes. They’re crazy. I don’t think I will ever get it. They betray me, they didn’t keep their promise, they trick me, and I don’t care anymore.

“Hi” here is what’s called an interjection. Sort of like if you were trying to suddenly stop your friend George from doing something and you said “No, George!”, “no” would be the interjection. In the same way you would say “No, George!” instead of “No George!” (which reads like you’re protesting the existence of George), you would be technically correct in saying “Hi, George!” However, nobody would seriously care outside a grammar class if you said “Hi George!”

Well, it’ll go… DaMonster, don’t plan too much. It may not come out riiight.

Grandwolf, you always play grammarian with us!