Totally underrated topic is how many Boomers were raised by WWII veterans with severe, untreated PTSD
After some unfortunate interactions with older coworkers, I’ve started thinking that so many shitty aspects of our work culture exist because working men wanted an excuse to be away from their wives and children.
For most of known human history, marriage - or its equivalent - has been seen as an obligation. To marry freely or not marry at all are modern sensibilities.
I have a strong suspicion that a lot of them are also deeply closeted.
I know a few dozen boomers who have told me: “just because you’ve slept with or had a few relationships with women doesn’t make you bi. You married a man, so obviously you’re straight”.
Yeah… That’s not what those words mean.
Yeah, they really need that to be true or their worldview collapses.
“People choose their sexuality”
They choose how they express it.
They choose how they express it.
And? What are you insinuating? Just come out and say it
Why is that offensive to you or something?
Bone whomever you want, dress however you want, and stop being in every single living thing’s face about pronouns. Stressing particular labels kinda loops back to getting stigmatic ones, doesn’t it?
I mean… grindr’s load (heh) data effectively proves that a lot of RNC attendees are taking the “save a horse, ride a cowboy” lyric to heart
Happiest couple I know was in an arranged marriage by their parents starting at the age of 9.
They grew up together, went to the same schools, shared hobbies, were fully familiar with each other’s extended families, and the future-wife ended up going down the aisle slightly pregnant. They’ve been together for nearly 50 years, have three kids (one of whom was a friend in high school), and are both thoroughly convinced that American romances are dumb, shortsighted, and a big reason for the country’s endemic poverty.
Of course, this family is also stupid rich.
The couples that I see fail are consistently either poor to the point that they can’t afford a basic standard of living or where one parent is traveling all the time while the other is stuck with perpetual child care. Inevitably one (or both) cheat, or just have a series of meltdowns that end in a break up.
The handful of couples I know where one partner was closeted or just slow to recognize their own queerness seem to be some of the happiest. The relationships tend to be open or poly, to accommodate one or the other. But neither seem to mind. I even know one couple that did get divorced (primarily because the wife was constantly traveling), but you’d never know it given how much time they end up spending together when she’s home.
The “I hate my wife” crowd I do know tends to be the ones that are traveling so much they never really see one another except to deal with some financial bullshit, housework, or kids.
Money is clearly the main factor here. The majority of my marriage stress is poverty related
It’s largely from intergenerationl trauma, in my opinion. I think if we could somehow get a large chunk of society the mental health help they so desperately need, we could at least be helping enough people to make a positive difference in their children’s lives. The thing is, its just such a monumental task, I doubt we’ll ever really be rid of all the trauma and weird ancient cultural expectations that live within nearly everyone.
More like most no one was educated in contraceptives, condoms weren’t a thing, and 99% were brainwashed on Christianity and life’s only purpose was to spawn. Pour all of that into a glass and shotgun weddings due to pregnancy, rushing marriage since it allowed guild-free sex, and caring about what your little new suburban town and Church thought of you and you get a horrible mental mess.
For funsies, look up early 90s tv show Homefront to see all the examples.
As someone who’s only done guild-free sex, I’m now somewhat interested in learning more about the guild.
Maybe it’s different for everyone. Where I’m from, most people knew each other for years, if not their whole lives, before they married. There are exceptions, of course.
I always laugh internally at people that drove with one hand on top of the steering wheel. They think they’re vin diesel in fast and furious. I think they’re prone to wild oversteering. 2 hands near your lap is comfy.
Depending on your arm length and the shape of your car’s door, you can rest your door-side elbow on the door, making the top of the steering wheel a natural place to hold
Hand on the top is way more comfortable. I certainly don’t think or drive like vin Diesel. 2 hands near my lap is wildly uncomfortable. Sometimes I can do one right at the bottom but that depends on the car. Sometimes people’s body geometry is different and different things work.
