Some people don’t know how to deal with an overtly sexual woman. It throws them for a loop. To some people, only men are allowed to be horny. If you’re a horny woman you must be a slut who can’t control their emotions and that’s bad.
I think it’s important for some men to realize women are people, too. I know that sounds silly to say out loud but I really think some guys think women are these completely different creatures from themselves. We’re all human and, gasp, some like to talk and joke about sex. The horror!
See that makes a lot of sense, but you are forgetting something vital. This is the internet, so everyone is a guy. Especially the horny women. Therefore, only men can be horny. Checkmate, wanktheiests.
Considering it was only about 100 years ago that science decided that women could orgasm and weren’t just faking it to make their husbands happy…yes, the idea that a woman can be horny and is a normal human being is a shocking revelation to some (many?).
Ironic how men accuse horny women of being unable to control their emotions when it’s mostly horny men being unable to control their emotions that’s actually problematic (causing misogyny and rape)
Many men tend to be actually too horny, they objectify women and tend to have misogynistic and patriarchal expectations.
tbf this board is 99.8% male and like 1/3rd autistic at that and there’s almost no posts in Lemmy Shitpost talking about how they love showing off their dicks, fucking women, being horny, jerking off etc because these guys are nerds not frat boys
Happy to be proven wrong
That’s not to say the content isn’t welcome, if it wasn’t it’d be downvoted (ask me how I know)
It’s less that I mind or care, it’s more that straight horny content wasn’t really a thing before. Sure, people would joke around, but actual horny-posting was limited to places you had to actively seek out (like lemmynsfw). If people don’t want to draw attention to what they say, be it good or bad, they shouldn’t say things that stick out 🤷
i think the presumably male hornyposting takes the form of “here is an image i enjoy with no commentary,” making the subject of attraction the main focus and barely mentions the poster at all, violet’s specific brand centers violet as the main character, her feelings as central, and barely mentions the actual subject of those feelings
I do hate the double standard that it’s totally fine for men to joke and talk about sex, but when a woman does it, she must be dirty in some way. I get that biologically, women have had to be more choosy with partners because for a long time, the best protection was zero insertion, or the chances of ending up with a child you didn’t want were nonzero. Things are different now. We have the pill. We have emergency contraceptives. Some of us even have access to abortions.
Sex isn’t dirty. It’s normal and natural to want it. It’s normal to have a hard time getting it. It’s normal to be frustrated by the dating field and navigating relationships. It’s normal to feel incredibly rewarded when you do get it. And it’s normal to want to blow off steam by talking to people closest to you about your successes and failures in life. And a big part of being human is one’s own sexual exploits.
One of my closest friends is a woman about 13 years older than me (I’m 33; she’s 46), and she’s going through menopause right now. And she’ll start talking about the difficulty it’s bringing her, and she’ll tell me, “You don’t wanna hear about all this,” or, “I know you don’t care about this.” And the truth is that I do not nor could I ever understand what she’s going through, but as a friend, I can listen to her complain about it and give her the space to vent. Even if I’ll never get it, I can just be a voice in the room to pull out some great hits like:
“Jeeeesus, I’m so sorry,”
“Yikes, that sucks,” or
"Haha, Fuck. That."
As a man, I don’t always have follow up questions or advice to offer someone going through issues unique to women. But people aren’t always looking for advice. Sometimes, it’s just nice to have the space to blow off steam with a safe person.
Curious that this is your perception, while i myself have noticed a sort of inverse trend in that regard.
Especially around these parts it is heavily frowned upon making any kind of horny or sexual comment as a dude about a woman. A surefire way to get schooled on what a misogynist objectifying dick you are (excluding literal porn community comment section of course).
Other horny comments are much less controversial, women on men, men on men, women on women. Things you might find in the average (gay) porn comment section get upvoted on lemmy on a regular basis, im sure it’s totally ironic.
So my personal “analysis” of recent ish lemmy online discourse would be that heterosexual men on lemmy avoid being publicly horny because of the expected blowback. That or they make an alt account.
Some people don’t know how to deal with an overtly sexual woman. It throws them for a loop. To some people, only men are allowed to be horny. If you’re a horny woman you must be a slut who can’t control their emotions and that’s bad.
I think it’s important for some men to realize women are people, too. I know that sounds silly to say out loud but I really think some guys think women are these completely different creatures from themselves. We’re all human and, gasp, some like to talk and joke about sex. The horror!
See that makes a lot of sense, but you are forgetting something vital. This is the internet, so everyone is a guy. Especially the horny women. Therefore, only men can be horny. Checkmate, wanktheiests.
Considering it was only about 100 years ago that science decided that women could orgasm and weren’t just faking it to make their husbands happy…yes, the idea that a woman can be horny and is a normal human being is a shocking revelation to some (many?).
Ironic how men accuse horny women of being unable to control their emotions when it’s mostly horny men being unable to control their emotions that’s actually problematic (causing misogyny and rape)
Many men tend to be actually too horny, they objectify women and tend to have misogynistic and patriarchal expectations.
tbf this board is 99.8% male and like 1/3rd autistic at that and there’s almost no posts in Lemmy Shitpost talking about how they love showing off their dicks, fucking women, being horny, jerking off etc because these guys are nerds not frat boys
Happy to be proven wrong
That’s not to say the content isn’t welcome, if it wasn’t it’d be downvoted (ask me how I know)
It’s less that I mind or care, it’s more that straight horny content wasn’t really a thing before. Sure, people would joke around, but actual horny-posting was limited to places you had to actively seek out (like lemmynsfw). If people don’t want to draw attention to what they say, be it good or bad, they shouldn’t say things that stick out 🤷
i think the presumably male hornyposting takes the form of “here is an image i enjoy with no commentary,” making the subject of attraction the main focus and barely mentions the poster at all, violet’s specific brand centers violet as the main character, her feelings as central, and barely mentions the actual subject of those feelings
so there’s a real difference
I think there was some of that in nsfw. I think the biggest instance died, though.
Yeah. But then to see it, you would have actually made the conscious choice to go to lemmynsfw, no?
The posts are still shown on the main feed (depending on instance) just buried by everything else. Scroll long enough and you’ll see it
Ah OK. I’m on my own instance. So I don’t have any of those communities here. So in my case I won’t.
I do hate the double standard that it’s totally fine for men to joke and talk about sex, but when a woman does it, she must be dirty in some way. I get that biologically, women have had to be more choosy with partners because for a long time, the best protection was zero insertion, or the chances of ending up with a child you didn’t want were nonzero. Things are different now. We have the pill. We have emergency contraceptives. Some of us even have access to abortions.
Sex isn’t dirty. It’s normal and natural to want it. It’s normal to have a hard time getting it. It’s normal to be frustrated by the dating field and navigating relationships. It’s normal to feel incredibly rewarded when you do get it. And it’s normal to want to blow off steam by talking to people closest to you about your successes and failures in life. And a big part of being human is one’s own sexual exploits.
One of my closest friends is a woman about 13 years older than me (I’m 33; she’s 46), and she’s going through menopause right now. And she’ll start talking about the difficulty it’s bringing her, and she’ll tell me, “You don’t wanna hear about all this,” or, “I know you don’t care about this.” And the truth is that I do not nor could I ever understand what she’s going through, but as a friend, I can listen to her complain about it and give her the space to vent. Even if I’ll never get it, I can just be a voice in the room to pull out some great hits like:
As a man, I don’t always have follow up questions or advice to offer someone going through issues unique to women. But people aren’t always looking for advice. Sometimes, it’s just nice to have the space to blow off steam with a safe person.
And that’s not dirty. It’s something we all do.
Curious that this is your perception, while i myself have noticed a sort of inverse trend in that regard.
Especially around these parts it is heavily frowned upon making any kind of horny or sexual comment as a dude about a woman. A surefire way to get schooled on what a misogynist objectifying dick you are (excluding literal porn community comment section of course).
Other horny comments are much less controversial, women on men, men on men, women on women. Things you might find in the average (gay) porn comment section get upvoted on lemmy on a regular basis, im sure it’s totally ironic.
So my personal “analysis” of recent ish lemmy online discourse would be that heterosexual men on lemmy avoid being publicly horny because of the expected blowback. That or they make an alt account.