I do hate the double standard that it’s totally fine for men to joke and talk about sex, but when a woman does it, she must be dirty in some way. I get that biologically, women have had to be more choosy with partners because for a long time, the best protection was zero insertion, or the chances of ending up with a child you didn’t want were nonzero. Things are different now. We have the pill. We have emergency contraceptives. Some of us even have access to abortions.
Sex isn’t dirty. It’s normal and natural to want it. It’s normal to have a hard time getting it. It’s normal to be frustrated by the dating field and navigating relationships. It’s normal to feel incredibly rewarded when you do get it. And it’s normal to want to blow off steam by talking to people closest to you about your successes and failures in life. And a big part of being human is one’s own sexual exploits.
One of my closest friends is a woman about 13 years older than me (I’m 33; she’s 46), and she’s going through menopause right now. And she’ll start talking about the difficulty it’s bringing her, and she’ll tell me, “You don’t wanna hear about all this,” or, “I know you don’t care about this.” And the truth is that I do not nor could I ever understand what she’s going through, but as a friend, I can listen to her complain about it and give her the space to vent. Even if I’ll never get it, I can just be a voice in the room to pull out some great hits like:
“Jeeeesus, I’m so sorry,”
“Yikes, that sucks,” or
"Haha, Fuck. That."
As a man, I don’t always have follow up questions or advice to offer someone going through issues unique to women. But people aren’t always looking for advice. Sometimes, it’s just nice to have the space to blow off steam with a safe person.
Curious that this is your perception, while i myself have noticed a sort of inverse trend in that regard.
Especially around these parts it is heavily frowned upon making any kind of horny or sexual comment as a dude about a woman. A surefire way to get schooled on what a misogynist objectifying dick you are (excluding literal porn community comment section of course).
Other horny comments are much less controversial, women on men, men on men, women on women. Things you might find in the average (gay) porn comment section get upvoted on lemmy on a regular basis, im sure it’s totally ironic.
So my personal “analysis” of recent ish lemmy online discourse would be that heterosexual men on lemmy avoid being publicly horny because of the expected blowback. That or they make an alt account.
I do hate the double standard that it’s totally fine for men to joke and talk about sex, but when a woman does it, she must be dirty in some way. I get that biologically, women have had to be more choosy with partners because for a long time, the best protection was zero insertion, or the chances of ending up with a child you didn’t want were nonzero. Things are different now. We have the pill. We have emergency contraceptives. Some of us even have access to abortions.
Sex isn’t dirty. It’s normal and natural to want it. It’s normal to have a hard time getting it. It’s normal to be frustrated by the dating field and navigating relationships. It’s normal to feel incredibly rewarded when you do get it. And it’s normal to want to blow off steam by talking to people closest to you about your successes and failures in life. And a big part of being human is one’s own sexual exploits.
One of my closest friends is a woman about 13 years older than me (I’m 33; she’s 46), and she’s going through menopause right now. And she’ll start talking about the difficulty it’s bringing her, and she’ll tell me, “You don’t wanna hear about all this,” or, “I know you don’t care about this.” And the truth is that I do not nor could I ever understand what she’s going through, but as a friend, I can listen to her complain about it and give her the space to vent. Even if I’ll never get it, I can just be a voice in the room to pull out some great hits like:
As a man, I don’t always have follow up questions or advice to offer someone going through issues unique to women. But people aren’t always looking for advice. Sometimes, it’s just nice to have the space to blow off steam with a safe person.
And that’s not dirty. It’s something we all do.
Curious that this is your perception, while i myself have noticed a sort of inverse trend in that regard.
Especially around these parts it is heavily frowned upon making any kind of horny or sexual comment as a dude about a woman. A surefire way to get schooled on what a misogynist objectifying dick you are (excluding literal porn community comment section of course).
Other horny comments are much less controversial, women on men, men on men, women on women. Things you might find in the average (gay) porn comment section get upvoted on lemmy on a regular basis, im sure it’s totally ironic.
So my personal “analysis” of recent ish lemmy online discourse would be that heterosexual men on lemmy avoid being publicly horny because of the expected blowback. That or they make an alt account.