This is basically all of gen z, expect they pretend to have shitty childhoods.
They’re like performative trauma victims that make everything some sort of political battle for clout and social media attention.
I think its more that people in general think identifying a problem = having the solution, or that being able tp explain why something happens = making it excusable.
Maybe your dad shoved you in a locker and gave you swirlies, but thats no reason to shove other people in lockers or give them swirlies. Its fine to know and explain thats why you do it, just also… Stop doing it.
Shitty childhood led me not to have kids at all.
having an abusive childhood is the main reason why i’m extremely sympathetic now, and probably part of why i’m also a massive doormat
Un my experience the worst people are the ones who have had no adversity.
Your post is great OP. There are so many entitled people in this thread arguing that their life gives them a reason to not be a good person. Its lovely that they’re all outing themselves for who they really are.
There will always be someone out there who had it worse than you did. Many of those people choose good. Being a good person is an active choice that you have to make every day, and it is not the easy choice. It’s work.
You don’t want to make the effort and try and leave this world a little better than you found it? Fine. But at least own up to it. Don’t blame circumstance. It’s you. It’s the choice you are making.
I fall into the “no free will” camp. I don’t think people should get a free pass, however. The goal should be rehabilitation and prevention.
If any punishment is involved, it should not be anything beyond what is most likely to correct the behavior and/or discourage others from engaging in the problematic behavior… if we can even agree on what is considered problematic behavior.
Figuring out the rehabilitation and deterrence is also hard, and we’re usually just happy to punish in such as way as to minimize cost or maximize profit so… I doubt we’ll figure it out anytime soon. That and people’s egos can’t handle the whole “no free will” thing.
I made this post strictly to incite horrible arguments/statements in the comments.
That’s right.
Just because you’re a minority born and raised in a struggling household in a bad neighbourhood, that doesn’t give you an excuse to act like an asshole. Do better.
Just because you have Autism/ADD/other that doesn’t mean its ok to be an asshole to people. You’ve lived with that condition for long enough that you should be able to manage it. Do better.
Are these supposed to be examples to the contrary?
Having autism isn’t an excuse to be an asshole.
Neither is being a slave, really. It’s just that, coming from me, that’s kind of like an abusive father telling you not to be angry after I hit you.
Telling a person who doesn’t know better to just do better will at best do nothing and at worst exacerbate the problem.
Sure, telling people to do better makes me feel better about myself, but it does nothing beyond that.
I wouldn’t tell someone to just do better, but that’s because I have tact.
I have plenty of sympathy for the difficulties of self-improvement, but only for people who actually try. Life is about steeling oneself against harsh winds so that you may see the sun again. If you have forgotten all about the sun, I don’t know what to do with you. It’s sad, is what it is.
Fun fact, people really enjoy accusing minorities of being bad people. That’s why I’m always to scared to stand up for myself. It will be my fault.
It’s a universal rule
I guess we can then tell people who don’t know better to just magically do better. That will fix it.
*neighborhood. Not neighb our hood. Do better.
Just a tip if you’re trying to be edgy/poignant. Don’t end the message with “Sorry”. It both weakens the message you’re trying to convey and makes you sound like a complete asshole.
Example:
Shitty adults do not give you a free pass to be a non-achieving leftist whiner.
depends how crappy, you arnt going to suffer as much if you were white, and not AA whom are likely to be repeat offenders of crimes, due to systemic racism and “policies”. and in what socioecomic region you grew up in. plus daughters dont get the same bad rap as men do(especially in the usa where men are expected to be independant at adulthood). i seen posts in other platform, thier sibling/parent has alot of contempt for thier family member if not outright spite, they actually wish thier family member to fail and get off on it, very strange as its quite unique in the us and the west and very common.
i seen posts where siblings/parents ignore a childs potential issue, and assume that they are intentionally not doing anything with themselfs. on one post in another forum, a older woman ask why thier slightly younger sister wasnt doing what the OP (thinks people should be doing at thier age35+), completely ignoring the enabling, adhd, and health condition of said sister , turns out the OP was ragging ont he sister for quite some time and why she was so dependant on the parents.
Fuckin… wut?
It took me quite a while to climb out of that pit. Even now decades later I’m realizing how much they did to me. They didn’t know it and didn’t care but they shortened my life with their neglect. I had never looked up rheumatic fever. When I was fourteen I was third in free style swimming in my region. I got sick with a sore throat and ear ache. My parents waited three days to take me to the doctor. The 80 year doctor just said it was a minor ‘red throat’ I went back home and two days later my I started bleeding from my ears. Three days after that they finally took me back to the doctor. I had a high fever and was really out of it. I was out of it for a few days and in the hospitals for fourteen days.
After that I started getting slower in swimming. I couldn’t now keep up with the times I had when I was younger. I was getting tired all the time and was having pain in my chest. My mother insisted I was too old for that and fool that I was believed her. In truth I had heart problems related to that fever. They had the money and I had insurance but they decided that their money was more important and the only reason why they went to the doctor when they did was because someone came by the house and saw the bloody paper towel next to my ear and freaked out. I didn’t learn that for thirty years just like I didn’t learn they called SCAN which was child services at the time. Of course they talked them down and I was in my late forties before I found out.
I had a heart attack when I was in my mid thirties. Now in my mid fifties I’m looking at severe problem with my heart valves. If I lose my job I’m dead in the Land of the Fee. I have tried to raise my children better but I still have difficult emotional problems and I can tell you right now I don’t hate much but even though they are dead I will always hate them.
sometimes the parents are so shitty, that the children turns out that way(and the child gets blamed for it because they are grown up but unable to do this or that as an adult), and the parents get mad when they get the consequences of it. i think strep goes like this strep throat to scarlet fever to rheumatic, which is the most serious.
I honestly don’t know if this is genuinely supposed to be a shitposting community, and at this point I’m too afraid to ask
Figure it out
Honestly, I used to feel the same. But now… Not so much.
Shitty childhoods often develop into isolating behaviors. Isolating behaviors keep you from connecting with other people. Those people often give you hell, because you don’t have the skills to connect and they’re afraid of you. Which means you learn behaviors to keep others away from you.
Those people often give you hell
I imagine the post was getting at the idea of intentionally being harsh to nice people, not talking back to people who are assholes.
One of my pet peeves is strangers being overly rude or dismissive or whatever when I try to do small kind things. Like you don’t need to acknowledge me for holding a door open, but don’t make eye contact with me and give me a stank face you fuckin creep lmfao.
A reason isn’t an excuse (or free pass).
It could be considered a mitigating consideration, but thats not an automatic freedom from consequences.
You need to look up the definition of an excuse.
A reason is literally an excuse.
If every time your parents offered you ice cream as a child, they beat the hell out of you, you’d soon start associating ice cream with with abuse. You’d expect it, as a matter of survival.
When you got older, someone offering you ice cream would trigger that fight or flight mechanism.
Mitigation is quite literally freedom from one consequence, in place of another.
A reason is literally an excuse.
Not by default, though i will say i phrased my reply poorly, what i should have said was.
a reason isn’t always an excuse
They are similar, but the implications and potential usages of each are different.
A reason is an potential explanation for an action/outcome etc.
An excuse is an attempt to use a reason to mitigate some or all of the consequences of an action.
An excuse always has a reason as a basis, but not all reasons are excuses.
The main difference is intent,
As an example, two kids get in to a fight, kid a is asked “why were you fighting?”
They say “they hit me so i hit them back”.
That can be both a reason and an excuse depending on the intent of the speaker.
As a statement of subjective fact, that would be a reason.
As an attempt to dodge punishment or consequences, it would be an excuse.
It can also be both.
If every time your parents offered you ice cream as a child, they beat the hell out of you, you’d soon start associating ice cream with with abuse. You’d expect it, as a matter of survival.
When you got older, someone offering you ice cream would trigger that fight or flight mechanism.
While potentially true, I’m not sure how it’s relevant.
Mitigation is quite literally freedom from one consequence, in place of another.
That’s not what mitigation means either.
Couldn’t agree more
That doesn’t mean it’s easy to NOT let that trauma turn me into a bitter monster. In fact for a time during the thick of it, I was. Which was also the time when I was struggling BAD with addiction (7 years sober now, it’s the longest I’ve ever been sober). It’s a stretch of time where I deeply regret the person I was.
I’d say the biggest thing that helps me win and be a better person is framing who I am now in a specific way in my mind. If I let all that trauma turn me into a bitter monster, than that means that the monsters that defined the first 24 years of my life continue to have power over me. So basically I go “Fuck you! You won’t turn me into a fucking monster! I’m going be the kind of person none of y’all ever were to me! I’m gonna be kind! I’m gonna be helpful! I’m gonna be the kind of person people are happy and PROUD to know! I’m gonna leave a POSITIVE impact on the lives of people I interact with!”
My sister has the same outlook as me, which brings me joy. She also had awful trauma continue into her 20s.
My brother, not so much though. At least my niece and nephew have my sister and I to interact with often (mostly my sister, my brother doesn’t talk to me very often for reasons I’m not gonna go into) so they’re becoming the kind of people that we’d love for them to be. Being the candle in the dark for them gives them a guiding light so that they have some good to look to.
You don’t know me, but I wanted to say I’m proud of you, internet stranger, for 7 years of sobriety. That takes a lot of work.
Those 7 years weren’t easy but they were so worth it
My sleep is better, I’m saving so much money (well… in theory lol), and my CPTSD is easier to deal with
Explain to me in one hastily written white board that you do not understand childhood trauma.
On the one hand there’s truth to that: your behavior is your responsibility.
On the other: people in this country are seriously uneducated in regards to childhood trauma. I mean good grief. If someone is behaving poorly, there may be deep reasons for that and maybe get them some help.
Nah, its easier to permanently cut them out of society and finish the job (=
Make it permanent.
What country ?
I think the point is though that after you move out you are in control of your own destiny, and can choose to be a better person than your parents, or just repeat their patterns in your life. I’m not negating trauma.
I.e. had a guy doing Renos at our place, super guy, very kind. As the renos went on we got to chatting. His dad was an abusive alcoholic and he’d left home. I commented how he was doing amazing in spite of his upbringing, and his response was (paraphrased) “I went through stuff, but one day I had to choose not to be my dad, and not let what he did hold me back any longer. You can wallow and drown in the poor me pool, or climb out of it”
I mean, kind of glossing over how strong childhood trauma can be. Feels like they’re saying “just get over it already”.
Unless people are trying to use that as a free pass for acting shitty somehow.
That second part shows you get it
“Sorry” takes this otherwise good thought and makes the whole thing cunty.
Be better
