I think the total opposite, people who value small talk assume every stranger is someone to value and attempt to connect with, whereas people who frown at or avoid small talk are often the ones assuming some pretty negative things about others
people who value small talk assume every stranger is someone to value and attempt to connect with
Strictly based on OP, people who value small talk assume every stranger is someone who needs to be assessed as a possible threat, and must “prove that we can get along”. They might be someone to value and attempt to connect with, but that is indeterminate until tested. The small talk is the test.
The statement in your posted image frames the interaction in question (“small talk”) as purely transactional. I am working inside that context. You seem to be drawing “understanding” from some external context which has not been presented here.
Not OP but mine are, anything wrong with it? Communication aims at information exchange, if you wanna say hey just say hey, we don’t need to waste away doing empty, false gestures at each other. You want to learn something I know? Happy to help! Vice versa? I hope you also don’t mind.
Wanna waste air with saying empty words, devoid of any actual meaning? You’d get the most appropriate version of “Yeah” and a stare urging you to get to the point.
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it, but it clashes with my personal strategy. I call it greasing the wheel : exchanging small talk and trivial common experiences with someone is a great way to prepare the channel for high density information exchange. It’s really a small setup investment that more than pays for itself in the long run.
I would also speculate that your own position is not as clear cut as you think. You probably hate small talk for your own reasons, and then rationalize that as an utilitarian point. People who rely on high-density information exchange are generally pretty good at small talk, and they’ll invest a lot in low-stakes, high-noise low-signal interactions.
Can we not belittle each other, it’s such a conversation ender.
I do think there are people who are going to be purely transactional, myself included. I don’t know why, maybe it’s rooted in insecurity, maybe it’s lack of attention span from perpetually being online that’s rewired our simulation receptors that don’t get anything from trying to discover connections.
So… if you don’t live your life automatically assuming that every stranger is a threat, you don’t waste time and effort with small talk.
I think the total opposite, people who value small talk assume every stranger is someone to value and attempt to connect with, whereas people who frown at or avoid small talk are often the ones assuming some pretty negative things about others
That’s pretty unfair to the 10 to 20 % neurodiverses.
I mean, this is a total generalization. I’m ADHD AF and I love small talk. I’m very earnestly never “testing” people, either.
👍
Strictly based on OP, people who value small talk assume every stranger is someone who needs to be assessed as a possible threat, and must “prove that we can get along”. They might be someone to value and attempt to connect with, but that is indeterminate until tested. The small talk is the test.
You really don’t understand this hooman communication thing, do you?
So let me try to parse this; Your interactions with others is on a purely transactional basis?
The statement in your posted image frames the interaction in question (“small talk”) as purely transactional. I am working inside that context. You seem to be drawing “understanding” from some external context which has not been presented here.
Not OP but mine are, anything wrong with it? Communication aims at information exchange, if you wanna say hey just say hey, we don’t need to waste away doing empty, false gestures at each other. You want to learn something I know? Happy to help! Vice versa? I hope you also don’t mind.
Wanna waste air with saying empty words, devoid of any actual meaning? You’d get the most appropriate version of “Yeah” and a stare urging you to get to the point.
Metadata is data. Skipping small talk is exchanging less information.
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it, but it clashes with my personal strategy. I call it greasing the wheel : exchanging small talk and trivial common experiences with someone is a great way to prepare the channel for high density information exchange. It’s really a small setup investment that more than pays for itself in the long run.
I would also speculate that your own position is not as clear cut as you think. You probably hate small talk for your own reasons, and then rationalize that as an utilitarian point. People who rely on high-density information exchange are generally pretty good at small talk, and they’ll invest a lot in low-stakes, high-noise low-signal interactions.
Can we not belittle each other, it’s such a conversation ender.
I do think there are people who are going to be purely transactional, myself included. I don’t know why, maybe it’s rooted in insecurity, maybe it’s lack of attention span from perpetually being online that’s rewired our simulation receptors that don’t get anything from trying to discover connections.
My attention and time are not something others should feel entitled to have.
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