I’m the family member no one talk to, on both sides of my family.

I’m not MAGA, so my dad’s side thinks I’m a radical woke far-left democrat pedophile.

On my mom’s side, very long story short, my younger brother isolated, emotionally abused, and cheated on his girlfriend. She found some stuff and started to get suspiciousof him, so he asked me to help him gaslight her. Instead, I showed her proof of everything and offered to help her leave him. She declined my help and decided to kill herself instead.

According to my brother, I betrayed him and her death is my fault. My mom and other brother agree with him. Apparently I should have helped him lie to her because then she’d still be alive. So I don’t talk to any of them.

I’m not sorry. I’d make the same choice again today without hesitation. She needed to know. He’s the one who hurt her, not me. She’s the one who decided to kill herself, not me.

I still don’t know. I’ve been told a few times but I just nod politely, agree with whoever speaking to me at the time and tune out.

Nobody is going to tell me the truth, they’re all going to tell me versions of the story where they come out squeaky clean, and I simply don’t care enough to remember enough information to deduce the truth for myself.

Just wanna get home play me some Halo

idk what they’re telling people and despite my morbid curiosity I know I’m probably better off not knowing. The actual answer is just a million different versions of “you were dumb”,“you were annoying”,“you were weird and creepy” that all ultimately have their roots in things they did to me to begin with. None of the things they did to me were really bad enough to call the cops about but also somehow every single one of them was my fault and none of theirs even though I was the youngest and least able to defend myself.

Hadn’t drank in 2.5 years since cutting all of them off now my cousin messages asking why I wasn’t at the family reunion this summer (followed a week later by a photo of a page of a prayer book about forgiveness) and now I’ve been drunk two weekends in a row and my tolerance is already back to being able to take down a twelve pack again. My therapist keeps trying to talk me into a face to face talk when I was considering (at most) a letter but now I’m thinking maybe just blocking them. There’s nothing I can even think to say that isn’t purely spiteful.

Politics and violence are the primary reasons I don’t show up anymore. (with one kind of exception mentioned at the end)

All things considered it was way overdue at that point given many many other things that have gone down at those gatherings (6+ gathering per year) over the years. And from what I hear it’s only gotten so much worse since me and the other 3 stopped going.

For years afterwards I’d get invited to the gatherings (being told that said uncle (and other awful people) weren’t going to be there) only to have a message inevitably come in somewhere between 6am and an hour before the function was to start saying that, “We sent you the invitation by mistake, you’re not welcome in our home”.

For context: the gatherings took place at many different relatives homes (so different people sending the invites and redactions), but in general it was a rotation of all of the homes of the aunts, uncles, grandparents, a few of the other relatives, and some friends of other relatives.

I did show up to the gathering for when grandma passed (we don’t really do ‘funerals’ we do ‘celebrations of life’ basically. Think Thanksgiving (but often longer) where we all share our stories about the deceased and celebrate with a feast basically (It’s a whole thing)) without an invite. No one said a damn thing as it’s the kind of function where differences are set aside. Though almost no one spoke to me, I was able to share my stories for her. Everyone who stops showing up always makes it out for these if they’ve got stories to share.

Sex or money… or religion, I guess, but that usually comes down to who gets your sex and money.

I’ve got embezzled hundreds of thousands of pounds from a family members business. That’s a pretty good reason not to talk to someone.

I stay well out of it though since everyone involved is an awful person.

My uncle raped his children.

I wish he was still in jail, but apparently six years was enough.

dysfunctional families, constant arguments, infighting, nagging, belittling, condescending remarks. either politics(currently with maga),

lgbtq+ member coming out causing a rift,

or a mooching family member that is getting passed around like hotpotatoes(because nobody wants to deal with it so they guilt trip each other), and refuse/unable to “launch from the nest”.(most common i think, especially in the current job market).

money issues like gambling, or spending above your means(is the most common of this type)/stealing.

Yeah… All the family drama happened when I was like 5 years old, and could remember enough of it to not need to be told. But lemme tell ya, there’s people in the family I have no interest whatsoever in knowing, and I genuinely believe we are the better for it.

Not coincidentally, all those same shit stirrers and liars and cheats are trumpers today.

Just money shit in my family.

My favorite uncle stopped coming to Thanksgiving and when I asked why, I learend it’s because he and my other uncle from my dad’s side’s wife hooked up and moved to Wyoming or some shit and the two uncles haven’t been on speaking terms since.

I was in my 30s when I discovered I had a cousin who was integral to the whole family but was taken away and never spoken of again.

My cousin became a craigslist killer in 2014. Shot himself in the head at the end of the high speed police chase. Whole thing made the news. We stopped talking to that side of the family.

Then after sustaining multiple closed head injuries and refusing to get help or therapy, my mom became severely abusive to me so I cut off contact with my entire family. Better off without em. They were all various flavors of fucked up.

Brother of my mother is gay which the family was reasonably fine with as long as he is the top (greek/roman rules apparently)

He however raped the younger(23at) brother of my father, which if it wasn’t bad enough, he did at my mothers wedding.

And while you would think that mom’s brother would be an unwelcome face, father brother is too, for reasons I suppose