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I’m like that dog that finally caught the car
Now what?
Show her your carabiners. Women love carabiners
Have you even seen the extra pockets on my cargo pants?
Showing off the pockets in cargo shorts like ladies show off skirts with pockets.
puts hands it little leg pockets See! It has pockets!
Guilty. But just the ones I sewed in myself. Street cred, you know.
They flirt back?
“Sometimes they flirt back” by Stephen King
So, do you like stuff?
I like doing stuff and junk
That’s a shame, I’m more into doing stuff and things.
Bro she wants to do your junk
And stuff
And things!!!
This happened to me with a fucking bombshell girl. She started flirting back so aggressively that I got scared. Turns out she is batshit crazy and I dodged a bullet.
Now I only flirt with ugly girls to keep the universe balanced. Ugly girls rule.
Don’t know what to do next. Never got this far.
The funny thing about men is that most of them are terrible at flirting, but it never bothers them enough to get off their asses and figure out how it works.
It’s not magic, it’s a skill like everything else.
It’s a skill where fucking it up has the possible consequence of being labeled a creep, or worse. Makes it a lot harder to get into when participating could ruin your life. Many people have written off flirting / approaching in person entirely because of this.
Note the “possible”. Fear means people are less likely to do something, not that there is some sort of assessment on the likelyhood of a risk actually happening.
Many people have written off flirting / approaching in person entirely because of this.
Giving up before even trying does not sound like a winning strategy.
If winning means not getting charged with sexual harassment, it’s a good strategy.
Yeah… the risk/reward does not have a good skew.
Whatever works for you man
participating could ruin your life
I’m not going to tell you that flirting is easy or that there’s no wrong way to do it, but this is unreasonable. Hyperbolic.
this is unreasonable.
I’ll thank you not to decide my experiences for me.
You made it very clear that you’re talking about your fears. Not your actual experiences, but your imagined ones.
I’m put in mind of MRA Men, of self described “incels,” who are fond of claiming that even a single accusation of sexual impropriety can “ruin their lives.” But as far as I can tell, that just doesn’t happen.
Believe it or not, you can’t die of embarrassment. If one person decides (if a dozen people decide) they don’t want to hang out with you (whether they call you a “creep” or not), that’s not “ruining your life.”
Do you imagine that, given the billions of people who have lived and died before you, you are really a unique outlier, of such exquisite psychological delicacy that even the slightest embarrassment will create permanent psychic scars? It’s a fantastically egotistical point of view.
I appreciate all the work you put into writing about and belittling my experiences. Please reconsider your priorities.
I’m autistic. More importantly I’m also empathetic; too many people have told me that women don’t appreciate being approached by strange people except in very specific circumstances. It’s not just a person risk vs personal reward calculation. It’s also a risk of how whoever I approach may be affected as well. It’s a calculation of what the reward actually is. Getting a date could be fun, but I’m not so sure it’s worth ruining someone (or several someone’s) else’s evening to obtain it. I’m also very sure that the amount of times I would have to try, in order to learn how to flirt, is much higher than a neurotypical person’s would be.
Just because you think that learning to flirt with people is a skill worth having does mean it is one I think is one worth having, independant of any of the risks or realities of what learning to flirt might actually entail.
figure out how it works.
It’s not like there is a manual.
https://man.archlinux.org/search?q=flirt /jIt’s not a skill arch users will teach you
Actually since the arch user stereotype has been shifting from basement dweller to transfem polycule it may actually be one they’ll teach nowadays…
How do you usually learn stuff? You could find a book on the topic and read it. Theory can’t fully replace practical experience, but it can carry you at least some of the way. Or if you’re more hands-on, you try stuff out, see how well it works (or doesn’t), and then use Google to figure out what you did wrong.
There are some books written for lawyers on how to make people feel more comfortable talking to them. Criminalist Jo-Ellan Dimitrus’s “reading people” for example.
Looks like we all need a bit of lawyer skills in day to day life.
Look, it’s hard to tell if a girl’s into you, OK?
The funny thing about men is the penis.
Someone tells me they like my outfit or hat or glasses or something, they get a short and curt Liz Stokes-esque “thank you.”, and I say nothing more and go back to the thing I was doing.
How much flirting have I been casually waving off? Doesn’t really matter. I’ve got the appropriate amount of sex in my life (none) and the appropriate amount of romance in my life (Gomez says maybe I should chill?).
Nut Button
Worst thing she could say is “yes”.
