"opens up about childhood trauma that came an inch short of being locked in a closet for 20 years or sold into sexual slavery.’
‘i’m sure your parents tried their best.’
I opened up to someone a week ago and they told me to try therapy and maybe get medicated. What an asshole.
Genuine question. What do you want from them? Many non-depressed people don’t understand what it feels like, and immediately try to think of solutions
I was being sarcastic. They were fine. I told them why I don’t fuck with therapy or medication and while they didn’t totally agree with me they acknowledged that I was doing pretty well despite it all and that a lot of shit that bothers me wouldn’t be fixed by therapy anyway.
But to be fair. Regular exercise and hydration can help with mild symptoms of depression. Clinical depression makes it difficult to even attempt these things, which is why we all should have access to effective mental healthcare
have you tried just not being depressed?
spoiler
/s just in case
Yoga legit really great a managing stress and getting your mind off tense subjects.
Dehydration genuinely fucks over your ability to regulate your mood and concentrate on tasks at hand.
Like, I know you want to be mad at the “Easy Answers” crowd. But also, sometimes there are things that consistently improve your life. And people know it. And you can just do them and feel better.
A bit like asking someone who is in pain “Have you tried ibuprofen?” And then they’re angry at you until they take it. Then the pain subsides. And sometimes they even say “Thank you”.
as someone who has been on that particular moon i have to agree. i need to add sleep hygiene, healthy and enough food and excercise. It might not get you out of a crisis but things like low blood sugar and vitamin d do affect a persons mood significantly. so it might not be enough to cure depression but it very much helps with stabilization
My buddy’s got a “mildish” bipolar disorder. For years they ate like shit, drank hella soda (why is it always dr pepper) and never exercised. I’m sure as shit not gonna say stopping all that fixed the disorder, but they’re so much less volatile now that they do Hot Yoga and quit the soda… Their diet’s still trash tho…
Yeah this is a “I hate to tell you this, but it does in fact work” situation.
Doing those things won’t fix everything, of course, but they do help. Like, OP should be lucky they have someone to talk to, who’s taking an active interest in their wellbeing
Except yoga is aimed at something way beyond the scope of tense subjects. If I ever encounter anyone advising me yoga like this I will punch them in the face
100% agree. The “easy answers” are pre-requisites. You don’t get to bitch about them not helping until you’ve actually done them and still feel bad. See also:
- When was the last time you ate?
- What did you eat, and why didn’t it include a green vegetable?
- Are you getting enough sleep?
- Are you getting enough good sleep? (Sleep apnea is extremely common and also quicker and more convenient than you think to diagnose and treat.)
- Are you taking a daily multivitamin?
People dismiss these out of hand without actually trying them. Your body affects your mood a lot. I’ve had to deal with so many people both at work and in my personal life who were perpetually crabby because they never learned how to properly take care of themselves.
Yoga legit really great a managing stress and getting your mind off tense subjects
unless one of those tense subjects is a pinched nerve in your spinal column.
Yoga is a general stand-in for light isometric exercise. If you have a pinched nerve, adapted exercises including specific yoga poses and low-impact exercise are still recommended to help recover. For moderate exercise to get the endorphin-powered stress relief, swimming and upright/recumbent stationary cycle with good posture can be appropriate for someone with a pinched nerve.
I hate it too, but tailored exercise is kind of a magic bullet.
In that case, you might need actual physician’s care and not just friendly advice.
Unfortunately, finding a physician willing to read medical records these days is impossible
As a person who finally managed their anxiety after years of therapy and like 10 medications the best thing for me has been yoga and Mary Jane. I hate that my therapist was right about the yoga.
at least op has
- someone to talk to
- someone that probably actually listened
- and that someone at least tried to help
when i try to reach out, if i even find someone that listens…well. it doen’t end well or they just stay silent and leave basically, like never to contact me again unless they need something (which i don’t indulge anymore, thus i realized i was alone for a long time before i realized)
Let me tell you how depressed I am instead, and how much more justified my depression is, and how your situation is bullshit by comparison.
That’ll cheer you up. Probably.
Have you tried heavy drinking?
On it thank you. But can’t due to working too much
Yes, it just gave me indigestion
If you just want someone to listen to you and be supportive you should say so. A lot of people, especially autistic people, jump to trying to find a solution to fix it. Communicate better, say you just need a compassionate listener and both parties will be better off.
Not sure why this was downvoted. I mean if this was Lemmy shitpost, I get it.
Yeah. Lot of people on the spectrum see everything as problem/solution. Like if you’re venting, say so.
If you’re struggling with depression, you need to see a doctor. To go with the metaphor in the meme, the average person isn’t trained to save a drowning person, who can also end up drowning anyone who tries to save them. Lifeguards are trained to save drowning people.
If only I could afford the $200 co-pay per visit. Some of us are too poor to afford mental health.
Just stop being poor and get better insurance. See? So easy. /s
Talk to the providers, some may be willing to waive that depending on need. Also, that seems expensive; I’m on shitty healthcard.gov insurance and my co-pay per session was only 40 USD. I know when you are struggling, 40 can feel just as unreachable as 200, but getting that price down can be the difference between spiraling down or climbing up and out.
Talk to the people that are offering even shitty help – see if they have ideas for getting you professional help, maybe they could even pay the provider for you, or know about lower-cost services in your area.
yep. i had a girlfriend with depression.
she refused to do anything about it. other than weaponize it against me. and blame me for it. it was horrible.
many folks just refuse treatment and act like the world is the problem, or their friends/family are the problem.
“I’m sad”
“Here, let me try and cheer you up”
“IT DIDN’T WORK! NOW YOU’RE THE PROBLEM!”
“Okay, I’ll give you some space.”
“Oh, so you’re just going to ABANDON ME?!”
“Nevermind, I’ll shut up now.”
“Aha! The SILENT TREATMENT!”
:-/
“Have you tried not being depressed?”
“Thanks, I’m cured.”
I’m fully aware of the irony of downplaying how complicated emotions can be ITT, but after all my years depressed or whatever mixture of things I am, I think the simpler concepts have done me the most good overall really.
I came across these 5 words a couple years ago, and it struck me as the exact advice I needed for a long time.
Don’t believe everything you think.
“The mind is an excellent servant, but a terrible master.” David Foster Wallace
Web searched it, and the quote from his speech “This is water” is actually
Think of the old cliché about “the mind being an excellent servant but a terrible master.” This, like many clichés, so lame and unexciting on the surface, actually expresses a great and terrible truth.
Edit: The speech was a good read
Thanks for the added context and providing a link for folks! It’s a decent commencement speech overall and I appreciate the attention he draws to the importance (and difficulty) of perspective in it. If anyone understood the “great and terrible truth” of the adage, it would be him.
Yes! Our brains when left unchecked can be a torment nexus - stating grounded in reality (not your thoughts!) is crucial
That actually sounds kinda decent response. The person giving advice is just trying their best, we aren’t all therapist
