• funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works
    42·
    12 hours ago

    we had a (creative) writing workshop once where they said “write the worst possible dialogue you can!” with the idea that then we would read them back, and it’d be stuff like “I love you! I’d die for you!” “But you killed for me - that’s horrible!” etc and they’d point out it wasn’t actually that bad with a few tweaks and a good performance.

    I kinda saw that coming so I wrote stuff like,

    “Zbijgl, my old fart, my favmamort n n n n number is 183442356742255214676213566873225566333543”

    “But my cat food is singing, it goes anganganganganganganganganganga”

    and they were forced to concede that yes, it is possible to write truly bad dialogue.

    • tal@lemmy.todayEnglish
      12·
      7 hours ago

      “Zbijgl, my old fart, my favmamort n n n n number is 183442356742255214676213566873225566333543”

      https://www.workableweb.com/_pages/tips_how_to_write_good.htm

      How To Write Good

      Lesson 1 - The Grabber

      The “grabber” is the initial sentence of a novel or short story designed to jolt the reader out of his complacency and arouse his curiosity, forcing him to press onward. For example:

      “It’s no good, Alex,” she rejoined, “Even if I did love you, my father would never let me marry an alligator.”

      The reader is immediately bombarded with questions, questions such as “Why won’t her father let her marry an alligator?” “How come she doesn’t love him?” and “Can she learn to love him in time?” The reader’s interest has been “grabbed”!

      • Nils@lemmy.ca
        3·
        6 hours ago

        Wow, thanks for the link, I bookmarked it. When it mentioned it was a satirical article, I was not expecting a masterclass. 😅

        Michael O’Donoghue was a writer and editor – as well as an author, playwright, radio writer, filmmaker, satirist, scribe, essayist and commentator. He was an editor and writer at the original National Lampoon, and a writer on Saturday Night Live in its early years.

    • Nils@lemmy.ca
      7·
      7 hours ago

      I imagine you haven’t dabbled in Korean web novels, or some humour/parody comics.

      Your Zbijgl and cat food lines are better than a lot of stuff I read before. Honestly, in the right context, they could work on something from Hitchhiker’s Guide to The Shining.

      I can almost hear them in an episode of JoJo or Cromartie High School

      my favmamort

      😅 Sounds cute.

      Edit: today I will call someone my favmarmot to see their reaction.

        • Nils@lemmy.ca
          5·
          7 hours ago

          Not sure if you mean the crossover between Jojo and Cromartie, but I could only think of that conversation in the train, going like the root comment said.

          Sorry, I am still bad (and lazy) at Krita.