they make these things called “peri bottles”. they hold about 16 oz of water and make excellent portable bidets. i steal them from hospitals (no i’m not joking i take at least two every visit, for what i’m paying i should take a gross). fill them with warm water before you pop in to do your business (if you have time. i recognize i’m talking about luxuries not everyone has. i would keep two in my bag full of cold water at all times and one empty just in case i had the time to get warm water. this is literally why i started carrying a purse back when i was a boy)
Do what I did…
Buy a 3d printer.
Design and print a funnel that can clip under the rim of any toilet that diverts some of the water up your arse.
Do the poopiest of poops.
Clip the AnywayBidet™ on to the toilet.
Flush toilet.
And, BOOM, you now know why I’m banned from every ikea in the UK.
Ok, maybe I should’ve tried it in the actual toilets rather than the showroom area. Either way the AnywayBidet™ is a surefire way to get people talking!!
i was just commenting above: i know the “portable bidet” as the “peri bottle”. i used to be a frequent flier in the hospital and they’re a standard hospital supply. i could always walk out with two or three per visit. like shit, i remember walking in once and asking if i could buy some, they sent me to housekeeping, filled my bag up and told me to run for the exit. ymmv but y’know
I think peri-bottles are a bit more contoured/angled specifically for women’s parts, especially pregnant women. Whereas the portable bidets are not quite so angled. The targeted hole is slightly different.
the ones i got were all straight, but maybe they gave me different ones because they knew i was aiming for my bootyhole. i’ve used those electric portable bidets and they just… well they didn’t have the pressure to deal with my leavings. i’d have to refill them twice. one or two good skooshes from a peri bottle and i’m clean as the day the doctor made me
Bidet gang.
At home, sure, but not available anywhere else I go. And as they say, “my boss makes a dollar and I make a dime…”
they make these things called “peri bottles”. they hold about 16 oz of water and make excellent portable bidets. i steal them from hospitals (no i’m not joking i take at least two every visit, for what i’m paying i should take a gross). fill them with warm water before you pop in to do your business (if you have time. i recognize i’m talking about luxuries not everyone has. i would keep two in my bag full of cold water at all times and one empty just in case i had the time to get warm water. this is literally why i started carrying a purse back when i was a boy)
Do what I did…
Buy a 3d printer.
Design and print a funnel that can clip under the rim of any toilet that diverts some of the water up your arse.
Do the poopiest of poops.
Clip the AnywayBidet™ on to the toilet.
Flush toilet.
And, BOOM, you now know why I’m banned from every ikea in the UK.
Ok, maybe I should’ve tried it in the actual toilets rather than the showroom area. Either way the AnywayBidet™ is a surefire way to get people talking!!
Wet wipes make do. Not a perfect approximation by any means, but better than dry wiping with what feels like a wad of sandpaper
They all wreck havage on plumbing regardless of whether they claim to be flushable. Don’t be that ignorant person.
That’s a Dathomirian name, for sure.
That was a poem for a simpler time.
And now my boss makes a grand
And I don’t see one cent
And he’s got employees
That can’t pay the rent
Boss makes a billi
I’ll die a renter
Drive company vans
Through his data center
My friend, allow me to introduce you to the portable bidet:
i was just commenting above: i know the “portable bidet” as the “peri bottle”. i used to be a frequent flier in the hospital and they’re a standard hospital supply. i could always walk out with two or three per visit. like shit, i remember walking in once and asking if i could buy some, they sent me to housekeeping, filled my bag up and told me to run for the exit. ymmv but y’know
I think peri-bottles are a bit more contoured/angled specifically for women’s parts, especially pregnant women. Whereas the portable bidets are not quite so angled. The targeted hole is slightly different.
the ones i got were all straight, but maybe they gave me different ones because they knew i was aiming for my bootyhole. i’ve used those electric portable bidets and they just… well they didn’t have the pressure to deal with my leavings. i’d have to refill them twice. one or two good skooshes from a peri bottle and i’m clean as the day the doctor made me
Reporting for doodie.